How do I seperate my relationship from the problems in my life?

[mkb]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 8 months. We have never seen each other though :/ We have plans for him to come in May, which I am extremely excited about...the only problem is getting there. The past few weeks have seemed horrible with us. We argue constantly about the most ridiculous things and it all leads up to him saying 'You just can't handle the distance' He is not at all a bad person and he is a wonderful loving and caring guy, but I hate arguing with him and what he says may be true..but how do i cope with tthe distance :/ Many times I he is here for me than I am for him between our problems, the stress from school and even problems going on with my family. Am i being selfish by overloading him by telling him everything thats going on? Many times I'm so stressed when i get home I go to sleep and many night stay up talking to him late at night but somehow im still so tired and stressed I feel like all I am doing is causing arguments. I know that is wrong. One problem i have is being there for him...I feel stupid to say this but how can I be there for him when he needs me. I've never been in a LDR like he has and honestly I don't know how to be there for him when i can't literally 'be there' I'm just tired of us arguing and i know that if we were together everyday it wouldn't be like this. I miss him so much throughout the day but all the other problems I am dealing with and talking to him about make it seem like I'm not talking to HIM at all just about life situations... :/ I know I am seeming very selfish..

[LadyMarchHare]

If you're finding the stress from your daily life is stressing you out when you're talking to him, maybe you should try opening up a blog to use as a venting tool or speaking with someone else such as a friend or even a counselor. I know in a relationship it's important to share your life even when you're apart, but if the majority of what you talk about is your problems, you need another outlet. One person can only shoulder so much of someone else's burden, especially if they have problems of their own. When he has problems, just listen. Let him talk, vent it out, and don't give advice unless he asks for it. If you can't give advice, just tell him you're there for him as much as possible and that you care. Sometimes that's all people need.

LDRs are hard and some people don't cope very well with the physical distance, but that's life. Not everyone can handle everything everyone else can and all you can do is do your best to make sure that you're trying. But I would look into other ways to vent out your frustrations beyond bringing it all to him and letting it overpower the conversation. If you go with the blog idea you could always make it public and give him the link so that he's not out of touch with what's going on, but at the same time it's not the forefront of everything.

[xopookie]

Oh wow, I can really relate to this situation because I've been going through this too. Well, honestly I don't think there's nothing much you can do.. because people have different ways and different style of coping through things. Personally, I'm the type to tell you what I'm going through, seek attention and will tell you exactly how you feel. You shouldn't feel guilty about telling him your problems because a man will be with you at your worst and at your best! I truly believe that! But you're not overloading him, but maybe he doesn't know how to support you in the way a girl can support which is in an emotional way. Men are all about actions. I think the reason why you're arguing is because he's an action person and he feels he can't be there for you. He'd probably rather support you through his actions than just words. But you can message me anytime, you're not alone! Also listen to Samantha James too she's really good, and she seems to make music that just suits all your moods! just search Samantha James on youtube!

[paulawriteslove]

LDR's are defiantly hard especially when there is a lot of stuff going on in your life. Whenever I have a lot going on a take a deep breath before talking to my SO and just go with the flow and make it a fun time. Put all the drama and bad day stuff behind and move forward while talking to your SO. Best of luck!

[BabyGund]

You need to find another sounding board besides your SO. I have a small group of girlfriends and even 2 guy friends I can call when I am ready to bitch and moan about things in my life, even about The Boy. They are more available than he is and then he doesn't have to feel he is my sole support. I think that's how he felt when I was piling all my emotions on him back in December.

You can blog too. I do that, so I can get it out. Sometimes just getting it out and reading it helps, even if you never get a comment on your blog post. At least it does for me.