"Clingy"?

[folclor]

Do you ever have those nights were you really want to talk to your significant other but, for whatever reason, you know you can't? They're busy, they're out of town, their internet's down, they're with friends, whatever it is. On some nights like that one can get very frustrated and lonely if one focuses too much on one's desire. But is wanting to be able to talk to one's significant other at times like this clingy? Or is it just natural?

What do you think?

[13000km]

I think it is considered clingy, I do it all the time. /:
I guess it's natural to be/feel clingy. And acting on that feeling is another issue altogether.

[Gelfling]

I'm feeling it right now. I'm hoping that he'll at least be able to say good-night tonight, but I'm not sure how late he'll be getting home.

I think we're all allowed our moments of weakness, but I think I'd be the crazy girlfriend if I started texting him and demanding that he skype me right now or else. Instead, I'm taking long naps and going over old photos and hugging the stuffing out of the stuffed owl he gave me.

I admit, I think the fact that the relationship is semi-permanently distant matters. I get kind of snotty (in my head, I try to keep it hidden) when CD partners complain about being separated for a night or two. I figure for every 340ish days of separation I get this weak maybe a dozen times or so, whereas they get that weak every day in which they're apart, and that's the difference between the occasional moment of weakness and full-blown clinginess.

[Micah]

I think I want to talk to my SO more when I know he is unavailable, if that makes sense. I don't think it is clingy. You are just longing to communicate and miss them. Nothing wrong with that!

[Tara_Lynn]

I think it is perfectly natural to miss your SO and have the sudden impulse to speak them when you cannot. After all, don't we always want what we cannot have? The important thing is to control your impulses. You can't demand instant texting, talking, etc. all the time. If you do that, then yes you are being clingy and will most likely smother your partner.

However, we all have moments when we need comforting. Express that need to your partner when you have one of those rare moments when no one and nothing else but your SO can soothe or support you. And if there is no possible way to get in touch with the at that moment, write them a letter or find a way to express yourself. Just getting it out often helps.

Just remember that it is natural to need your SO. However, LDRs require patience and strength. You can't always have instant gratification or support.

[OliveOyl]

i think technically is clingy, lol, but i have to giggle when i think of being "clingy" at 1700 miles distance...jajaja

[folclor]

I only wonder this because... think about it... if you live in the same city or town as your SO and you hang out with them every weekend or every night or every other night or something I understand it being labeled as 'clingy' to break down and cry over not being able to talk for one night or something similar. "Oh no, he has to go to his sister's birthday so I won't see him until tomorrow! *sob, sob*" type of deal. I'd consider that clingy. But if one is a significant distance away and one is fine for a decent amount of time but then one is really feeling the absence of one's partner and wants to spend time with him or her and therefore, under stress or not, becomes agitated about it, is it not natural?

[Sav88]

I guess it's clingy. I know I've felt that way a few times. I think back when my SO would tell me he's going out to dinner or something and I'd get a bit sad because I couldn't come too. But it's not a bad thing really, it's just showing you love them and want to be with them. But there's a line that needs to be drawn.

[kiara_silver]

maybe its clingy. if so then i am clingy, i miss him and want him all the time. I never demand his time but i let him know how much i want him, and ill leave messages saying "i miss you" but i try to give him space. lol but its hard when u cant see them or call them whenever, days go by and you cant help miss i think

[nic&matt]

Oh my goodness I was thinking I was the only one!!!! I don't think it's bad though...I think it's clingy, but not unhealthy. Everyone goes through nights or days like that...if you constantly bug him or accuse him of not spending time with you, that's over the line. There's nothing wrong with missing your SO

[OliveOyl]

But if one is a significant distance away and one is fine for a decent amount of time but then one is really feeling the absence of one's partner and wants to spend time with him or her and therefore, under stress or not, becomes agitated about it, is it not natural?

totally agree thats why i have to giggle of thought of it being clingy! jaja it is so ridiculous... but, i think 100% normal

[LadyMarchHare]

I only consider it clingy if you do it all the time and go as far as to harass your SO despite knowing they can't pay attention to you right then. There's no shame in missing someone as it's a common theme in a LDR, it's just a matter of how you handle missing them. If you're calling their phone 30 times every hour or purposely sitting and wallowing in your own sadness/anger/whatever, then yeah you're being clingy. Time is a precious commodity in this sort of relationship, a night without talking when you're used to talking every night or on specific nights can cause some bad breakdowns and depression, but as I said it's how you handle it.

[BabyGund]

Ha! You should read my blog post - it's kinda sorta on this.

I personally think it's clingy, or what I like to call "whiny needy bitch". And I try very hard not to do that and be that. It's smothering and it makes men run the other way. But that's me and my opinion.

It's natural to miss your SO. I miss my Boy. But there are times, like right now, where he can't be as communicative as I would like and I have to accept that.

[Mxchaela]

I am like this a lot. And when I do this, I classify myself as clingy.
But I don't believe it's wrong, or anything. I think it's normal.

[iamangel]

Like what I feel right now...I really miss him
It's a clingy...