Moving out of country?

[kymckenna]

This is for those of us who have an SO in a completely different country.

I want to know what those of you are doing as far as who is moving where and what your terms are for being together in the future.

My SO lives in Canada and I live in the US and I know this will be a little easier since the 2 are close. We both know one of us has to eventually give up citizenship for us to live together.

What is your advice on doing so?

[Michivf04]

Well my so is in Florida and im in Puerto Rico we are an ocean apart and it is kindaof hard. In my case he doesnt know spanish so it is a little hard for him to come to a place where spanish is a 1st language and he doesnt know how to speak it. On the other side i did live in florida por 5 months in an internship and i do know how to speek english and i do want to move to a diferent place even if it means being far away from my family and where i was raised but with him i want to create my own life & family for the future.
I think that most important in this case is comunicating with each other who is willing to move where and the reasons it should be a decision both need to make together. So try talking about it with him. About citizenship in my case im considered american or us teritory so i cant really say much from that part. Hope you guys can get to an agreement. Remember comunication is key. Good luck!! <3

[OliveOyl]

ahhh good question, i think what we both want is to live in Mexico for a whil e we are young and have kids there in mexico, and then move back to the us to settle. In terms of citizenship, I think we'd like our kids to have dual... not sure how to go about that....can you still do dual? i guess thats something i could research...lol but i dont care about citizenship, etc, so long as i make a little family of my own with the love of my life, and am able to see our families easily

[Élan]

My SO is unable to go back to his home country, so the decision was pretty simple for us. He has not seen his family for more than 5 years anyway, so it won't be as hard for him to move. He is mainly worried about the US being too big and overwhelming for him.

Right now I am living with him here in Malaysia. I feel like I get the best of both worlds--I am able to spend a lot of time in Malaysia, where I've had the privilege to learn so much about other cultures (and eat a ton of delicious and cheap food!), but I ultimately get to spend most of my life in the USA, where my family is. We are just waiting on a visa for him and then we will go to the United States together.

My advice? Hmmm. Talk about it fairly early! I'd hate to get into a LDR and find out after a couple years that neither of us were willing to me. Personally, I don't really want to leave the United States so I'm glad my fiancé is willing to move. I'd also recommend thinking hard about the things that are important to you: career in your field, education, climate, language, culture. If you are a chemical engineer and there are really no chemical engineering jobs in country X, then you should probably stay in country Y instead!

Good luck!

[lshay]

My SO is in Rio de Janiero and I am in South Carolina, USA so we are 4700 miles apart. I just got back from my second 18 day trip to be with him. Our situation is complicated by several things. First is the issue that I have two children that require me to stay here in the U.S. until my youngest is at least in college which is 8 years from now. So me moving to Rio isn't an option right now. My ex and I are friends and he's a great dad and we share custody plus I would never take them away from him nor would he ever agree to it anyway. Second is the fact that he is 14 years younger than I am, I'm 37 and he is 23, although I swear you would never know it if you saw us together. But he is finishing his last year of college as an electrical engineer and he had plans to continue to his master's degree and then his phD but nothing is in stone now. We pretty much take it day by day as we are both realistic that we never know what the future holds.

He is trying to get his passport and visa to come here in July and we are praying he can get his documents in time. He knows that I can't move right now and the only option for us to be together would be him moving to the U.S.
I don't push it....as I said we take it one day at a time. Moving out of someone's country when they have never been out of their country is a HUGE step and I understand this. My SO is very analytical and rational and I know
that if he ever made this decision, it would have been well thought out, not a spur of the moment decision. Plus...I would never want him to do anything that he didn't want to do. I know I would want the same respect given to me
if it were reversed. I would only want him to come here because he wanted to...not because he felt pressured to do so.

With all of that being said, do I plan on staying in a long distance relationship for five years??? No, I don't think I could allow my heart to do that. So I know at some point there will come a time when a decision has to be made.
I'm not looking forward to it I can tell you that much. But I also believe in destiny and whatever is meant to be will happen.
I never would have guessed that I would have met and fallen in love with a guy 4700 miles away and 14 years younger than I but things we don't plan on happen....because it's destined to be at that moment.
And I am so grateful for the hand of destiny!

[KiwiLove]

My SO is New Zealander with the citizenship of Australia. I am from Switzerland and I am going to move to Australia, as soon as I get my visa.
I would do everything for him, because I realise again and again how special he is.
I gave up faith in seeing him again and closing the distance but he always stayed positive..for me.
Because he knows how bad the past year was for me.

You will realise whats the best for you two if you seriously look at the whole situation your in.
Think about everything and especially the little "unimportant" things. And take your time. Dont rush just because you think "oh my god, I miss him so much and want to see him RIGHT NOW" (I hope you know how I mean it..)

In the end you will be lucky to have made this decision. Good luck

ps: Ishay is right in saying its destiny! I also believe in destiny. Everything what happens has its reason ♥

[OliveOyl]

yea, the whole process for visas to the US is crazy...I am thinking it needs to be thought of sooner than later, eh? I just know Mexico to the US just seems like a nightmare....

[mllebamako]

My SO is in West Africa and I'm from the US. I've lived with him before in Africa and I'm moving back there to live another year or so. But we're applying for the K1 and will hopefully be moving to the US after a year or so.
How did we decide? Well, there are way better education and job opportunities in the US. I want my masters and he wants more school as well. Plus, he has a LOT of his family in the US, so we are compromising and moving to the same state as them so we can be close to his support system.

As for advice, I completely agree with Elan:

My advice? Hmmm. Talk about it fairly early! I'd hate to get into a LDR and find out after a couple years that neither of us were willing to me. Personally, I don't really want to leave the United States so I'm glad my fiancé is willing to move. I'd also recommend thinking hard about the things that are important to you: career in your field, education, climate, language, culture.

A lot of it will probably come down to career and who is willing to move. Luckily, the US and Canada are neighbors Plus you can move as permanent residents and actually acquire citizenship for a long time. I know a Canadian woman who JUST got her citizenship after living with her American husband in the US for the last 35 years. She just renewed her green card a few times

[milaya]

I live in Denmark (northern Europe) and my SO lives in Japan. We pretty much knew from the start who was going to make the move if we decided to become serious. Since I speak Japanese and I'm studying Japanese culture and history it's easier for me to live in Japan. Since he doesn't even speak English, it would be too hard for him to live here.
Besides Danish immigration rules are a serious pain to get through, where Japan mostly just require us to get married.
Also I have almost no family left here in Denmark, so not even that is holding me back.

[milaya]

I live in Denmark (northern Europe) and my SO lives in Japan. We pretty much knew from the start who was going to make the move if we decided to become serious. Since I speak Japanese and I'm studying Japanese culture and history it's easier for me to live in Japan. Since he doesn't even speak English, it would be too hard for him to live here.
Besides Danish immigration rules are a serious pain to get through, where Japan mostly just require us to get married.
Also I have almost no family left here in Denmark, so not even that is holding me back.

[NaNi]

I live in Germany and my SO lives in New Zealand, so we're over 11.500 miles apart. It's a ridiciously huge distance. We spent so much money already on plane tickets and holiday houses that we don't have any savings left. I really don't know how or when we'll be able to close the distance.

[Riyko]

Neither of you will have to give up your citizenship both the US and Canada allows duel citizenship (I should know i'm an american living in Canada going for my citizenship). I've asked many questions about that and every time i've asked i've been told that i don't have to give up my US citizenship to get Canadian citizenship and if i was Canadian i wouldn't have to give up my canadian citizenship if I was trying to get US citizenship.

[Silviar]

Neither of you will have to give up your citizenship both the US and Canada allows duel citizenship (I should know i'm an american living in Canada going for my citizenship). I've asked many questions about that and every time i've asked i've been told that i don't have to give up my US citizenship to get Canadian citizenship and if i was Canadian i wouldn't have to give up my canadian citizenship if I was trying to get US citizenship.

This. One of the first things that's important is understanding that a visa (and a plan on what visa(s) you'll be getting), is different than citizenship. You can be a permanent resident somewhere and not be a citizen. Talking about what visa you want to do and then discussing how to handle it, and making sure to discuss a back-up plan in case it doesn't work is important. All of that has to be upfront before someone takes the plunge into leaving their home.

[Madge]

I'm from New Zealand and Nick is british and living in the USA..I don't really count the miles because it makes me upset!

For now I will hopefully be moving over to the states end of next year..fingers crossed the visa gets processed in that time.

I agree with Silviar. Talk about all options before making the decision.

[13000km]

We have been changing plans recently. I'll probably write a blog entry regarding this. So much has been going on! /: For the moment it looks like I will be moving to his state for school/work for a couple of years before we start travelling and working towards our initial plans. I guess you could say the studying is just a delay for our plans. He's willing to move wherever I go, and I'm willing to move...most places. At the end of the day, we would either be near his family, or in someplace we're both unfamiliar with.