Religious Differences....

[OliveOyl]

HI Everyone. When I joined LFAD, I was sooo surprised at the amount of diversity on here So I was wondering...

Are any of you in a relationship where your SO is a different religious than you (Atheism included)? If so, are there any challenges that you have encountered? Would you compromise on anything? Open-ended discussion ...

My SO was raised Pentacostal although he doesnt follow strictly at all... re: sex, drinking, smoking...AND I am catholic. And am just as Catholic as he is Pentacostal, but I still go to church, and have always *dreamed* of being married in a church... so...not like i am planning a wedding anytime soon, but I'd like to be lol just wondering if any of you have been in a similar situation we are also international so i think religion is practiced a bit differently in mexico... not so strict as here in the US.

THANKS!

[bluishskin]

Hi Olive
Not sure if what I'm about to say will be related to your post, but here it is. As a Muslim, I'm not supposed to get married with a non-Muslim as stated in the Holy Book and I support that. Luckily my SO is also a Muslim and he thinks similarly about that. What comes out as an issue is the denomination difference; I'm a Sunni Muslim and he's a Shia. It's prolly not really a huge issue but there are some differences anyway that we have to work out, especially since both of us are so keen in ending this LDR with marriage and we just don't want our future kids to be confused. We've found that discussing about this matter is not that effective if done online. We prefer to do that when we meet. So on his next visit there will be more to discuss about this and we are trying to reach a compromise that will benefit both parties. We're not fanatics, but we are aiming to become better Muslims.
Cheers!

[folclor]

I'm nondenominational Christian and my boyfriend is agnostic ^^; is a little odd at times but he told me that he'll adhere to the values I do in our relationship. So it all works out.

[skinbyrd85]

I'm Hellenismos (ancient Greek (Hellenic) religion) and he follows the ancient Slavic Gods. We both respect each others' Gods and talk a lot about our religions so it really isn't a big deal - we find that our respective faiths tie in rather well together since the religions of the ancients revolved around reverence and respect for the earth, and the Gods were/are simply the soul/personifications of the soul of the natural world. So in fact our faiths complement each other more than anything.

I have always believed that all religions are just different paths to the same underlying spiritual truth, and if you look at the basic messages of each, like don't kill, don't hurt others, treat others as you would treat yourselves etc, they are very much the same but worded or expressed in different ways. I take holy texts with a large pinch of salt because they were written by men and reflected what society was like at that time in history, eg in the bible women are inferior - well at that time in history, women in society were inferior and most were illiterate, so it makes sense that the men who recorded the events that happened would have said that women are inferior. I try to look at the deeper spiritual message rather than the smaller details if that makes sense?

Just a few rambling thoughts, take it or leave it

[OliveOyl]

yea, i definitely take everything with a grain of salt too! I just have to follow certain rules to get married in a church, which is kind of... well... important to me...not necessarily to him. :-\ but i just love him, I am wondering if I could just get over it eventually... lol

[LadyMarchHare]

There never was a huge religious difference between my SO and I. He was atheist despite being raised in a Christian home (an experience when he was a teenager 'ruined' religion for him, so he settled for none at all) and I'm a Zen Buddhist despite being raised in a Christian home as well. I even went to church for 13 years. Since my beliefs aren't invasive and follow a general path of just being a good person and respecting life it never really came up until he asked me about it. I explained what I could without being a textbook and he expressed interest in converting. So I went out and found a book about Buddhism that introduces it in a way that's easy to understand and was for someone who basically had no beliefs and was looking for guidance. He read a few chapters of it during our visit and said it was very good, so I imagine he'll convert after he finds what 'branch' works for what beliefs he does have. If not it doesn't matter, we both agree our children will have the choice to choose their religion if they want one.

[NaNi]

My SO and I don't have any real religious differences.

She's an agnostic and I'm an atheist, so we pretty much have the same view on things.

I'm really glad for that because I always knew that I wouldn't be able to date anyone who's into religion.

[Itsmy6]

I'm a nondenominational Christian and I really don't know what she would be considered since she believes in God, but believes the bible is fiction and doesn't pray. Anyway we get along just fine because we really don't talk about religion. I mean we know what each one of us believes and leave it at that.

[FadedSunrise]

I do not who what I would be considered, since I believe in the existence of God but do not follow organized religion. He is atheist. It does not really come up, since my belief is not a giant part of my life.

[milaya]

I'm an atheist and my SO don't have a religion. I wouldn't call him an atheist though, since he sometimes like to believe that there is "something". But no set believes/religions between us, making it easy. Mostly because since we don't have religions, we don't discuss religions either.
Think it's a good thing, since culture difference is mayor enough for us... also have to deal with religion... too hard.

[BoogleBee]

I'm an atheist and my SO don't have a religion. I wouldn't call him an atheist though, since he sometimes like to believe that there is "something".

That's a bit like us. My SO is atheist. I say I am agnostic. I don't believe in God, but I like to think there is "something" like your SO.
But in general our beliefs are pretty similar apart from that.

[mllebamako]

My SO is Muslim and I'm agnostic. Like skinbyrd85 said, I believe that all religions are just different paths to the same universal truths and that you can find good and bad in all of them. I believe in a higher power but I don't know what that is and I don't really think we CAN know since it's probably something incomprehensible to our tiny human brains

We have talked very openly about our religious/cultural/racial differences since the beginning of our relationship so we are very comfortable with them. We respect each other and our respective beliefs. He also accepts that it is highly unlikely that I would ever convert (never say never, right?)

I am completely willing to raise our kids Muslim because I think that he, and his family, practice Islam in a beautiful, respectful way. I think that that is probably my biggest "compromise" and if I would've been raised with religion and was a practicing religious person, this would have been a point of conflict in our relationship.

[OliveOyl]

very interesting. i think he wouldnt mind me being catholic somuch as his mom...she frowned at that...lol but she figures well at least im christian.. i just dont know... im not big on religion but it is very central too all of our catholic holidays MY SO is so sweet, when we were in huatulco, we were walking around the zocalo, where theres always a catholic church in the zocalos in mexico...and i took pictures of the church because i love churches.. and he was sweet enough to ask me if I wanted to go inside....which i initially didnt want to do because he is not catholic, nor is he extremely religious... he honestly stopped being religious after his father died and left his mother basically with nothing... soo.. he lost faith... and i found out later that that moment in huatulco was the first time he stepped into a church (any church) since his fathers funeral...I felt a bit special honestly...i definitely think love is way more important what book we read and follow or how we decide to pray, etc....i still am a bit interested to see how things pan out with our religions and families

[blankita719]

I am more spiritual than really practicing Christian. I was raised as a Southern Baptist but kind of fell out of religion in high school. I believe there is a god, and my son goes to a christian day care to gain some religious experience because I don't necessarily feel like I should have to dress up and go to church every Sunday to "prove" I believe in God. My SO is more agnostic, but respects that I have my beliefs, so we really haven't had any issues pop up with that. I've never wanted to get married in a church so that won't be a problem.

[Tara_Lynn]

I am a member of the Disciples of Christ Church (pretty laid back and open to all type of church), but I haven't attended for a while. I believe my philosophy major and not being raised directly in a church contribute to my lack of a need to physically go to church.

My SO was raised as a Jehovah's Witness. While he doesn't attend church right now, and he has some disagreements with the philosophies of his church. However, he firmly believes in the traditions that he was raised in. I love him more than anything and we work through the problems when we have to.

I will outline some of the problems that have come up though.
-JW's do not celebrate holidays. So, no Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, or birthdays!! Anniversaries can be big deal though.
-Family. Some of his family accepts me and some do not. The important people in his life like me quite a bit so it's all good, but it is tough to know other may never talk to me or always look down on me. On the other hand, some of my extended family aren't quite sure how to approach the issue either.
-Blood. JW's do not accept blood transfusions. There are alternatives, but it is a scary thought that he could refuse to save his own life. And what about kids? Scary indeed.
-And they don't actively participate in government. No voting. (Although my SO knows more about issues/government than many of my friends). This is a problem, well, because I am getting my Master in Public Administration...concentration in Homeland Security and Political Theory. I often tell him he picked me just to annoy his mother. Haha. The compromise here is that I will probably never run for office (besides a council position or something). It's never been a dream of mines so I think I'll be okay.

Honestly though, I have more trouble out of him being stubborn and thinking that tickling me a fun form of entertainment than I do his religion most of the time. I have no doubt that we will figure it out and be a better and stronger couple for it. Although, I'm not sure I can give up my Christmas movies....