E.N.V.Y :(

[we'reunderthesamesky]

hi there again!

This is my first post and I am not sure if anybody will be interested to respond. But I think everyone is kind enough to help..hehe

I admit. I get jealous with other people's relationships esp. CD.
Whenever I see my friends with their boyfriends/girlfriends and seeing them sweet and happy, there's something inside me which makes me feel envious with what they have. Don't get me wrong but I really am happy for their happiness and all and I wish to be like them. Everytime I see couples holding hands, strolling in the park or just sitting with each other, I feel a different kind of pain (not physical though)which bothers me.
I am so inlove with a great guy who also loves me whole heartedly but we're not in a normal "relationship". He's far from me and we only communicate through calls, textmessaging and yahoo chat. I am happy with our relationship and the love that we have but it's really different if I see and talk to him face to face.

Now, I need help from people who understand what I am going through.

How will I stop myself from getting jealous of other people's happy relationship?(LD/CD)

[NaNi]

I can't answer that question for you because I'm having the same problem.

It's okay on most days and I just simply try to ignore all those happy close distance couples, but sometimes I just get so sad.

All I can think about is how I can't see my SO, how I cannot hold her hand, kiss her or just spend time with her.

Especially now since even our "online time" is very limited as well because of our time difference.

[kireinamida]

Oh, I know exactly what you mean. I am like that at times, especially when I am feeling down.

The only think I do is I focus on the things that we have. I know there aren't much, but I try to make myself feel better and try to think that we'll be doing all those things one day. And it will be way more special than the couples that I see.

[we'reunderthesamesky]

thank you guys. you already made me feel better.

[kireinamida]

You're welcome. We're all here to support each other. ^^

[nicole]

I know what you mean. At the weekend my SO went to a birthday party- he was the only one without a date. They took prom-style picture in front of the limo- all the couples then my SO standing my himself, holding the beer. I felt AWFUL! I should have been there with him, and all the others looked so happy...

I tend to only get jealous when people are "In-your-face PDA"... it's like "Yes, rub it in.... GO AWAY"... funnily enough most of my close friends also happen to be in LDRs like me or are single, so I just crawl to them for comfort if I feel down. Do you have anybody to hang out with and talk too? Distracting yourself from all the love-up couples helps a lot IMO.

[LadyMarchHare]

Envy is a natural part of life. We get jealous of people with more money than us, people with nicer cars or clothes, or just someone who's smiling wide and bright on days when we feel like shit. I think so long as you don't let the green-eyed monster consume you to the point where you can't even see your own blessings enough to count them, you're alright. Plenty of people in LDRs get grumbly with those in CD relationships especially if said person is whining about not seeing their SO for one whole freaking day. However it has to be remembered they chose that relationship and adapted to what it involved, so to them a day's a big deal. We chose the relationships we're in and adapted to them. At the end of the day you just have to remember that whether they're 10,000 miles away or next door, you've got someone somewhere that loves you enough to put up with all this and suffers right beside you.

[Micah]

I don't get jealous, but it makes me miss my boyfriend more. I know that one day we will get our time to be CD and it just makes me look forward to that day. I do believe being envious/jealous is a normal feeling. I think I more feel like I am missing out on things than anything else. When my boyfriend is out doing something fun, I am happy for him, but at the same time I wish I was there with him. I always think that the people he is with are pretty lucky to see him on a daily basis.

[stargazerlily]

I tend to be envious of couples in a CD relationship too especially when they hold hands, hug, ec! What I usually do is imagine that it is me and my SO doing all those cheesy stuffs. Someday, we will!

[Zephii]

I find using logic can help, especially if the people you're seeing are strangers. You have no way to know if they are LD or not - they might just be on a visit. So you can remind yourself of that. Or they might be couples like mine - Long distance for a very long time and have then overcome it.

[nic&matt]

I don't think there's a single person here who doesn't feel that way. Not one. It's hard not to see it and because it's so public it's hard to get away from it. You get a throb of loneliness and a sudden overwhelming sense of grief. I think it's normal though and there's (sadly) really no way you can stop it...
One thing that kind of helps me (I guess) is thinking: "Not a lot of couples CAN do this" which kinda equals: "Mine is just as good as their's, if not better!" I know numerous friends who are in relationships and as much as I love them, they couldn't go a month. It's kind of satisfying and re-assuring that it's all worth it, it has to be worth it, if you're doing a LDR. Only special, certain people can do that...

[loveknowsnodistance27]

I know exactly what you mean. I tend to get that way when I'm at the mall...my boyfriend and I have spent a lot of time at that mall throughout the years, and as a couple. I always feel an emptiness, and there always seems to be more couples around when I go when my boyfriend's up at school. But, I try to look at the LDR as a blessing in disguise. We are both fulfilling our dreams of getting college degrees at our dream schools, and we are still together through it all. We are building up communication skills, as well as trust! We learn to have lives outside of our SO's so we can become more independent and not become clingy. The time we DO get to spend together is that much more special and we cherish our moments together. =]

[iamangel]

What you feel is normal. I feel that too sometimes and I keep asking myself why not now. I mean why i'm not with my SO..
But on the brighter side. I just think that there's a best reason why i'm not with my SO. We just have to wait for the perfect time for us to be together. Our promises, trust and love to each other are the reasons why we're keep holding on and stronger each day... You will see. It's all worth it. ^_^