First visit and friends?

[Alisz]

My boyfriend and I have been planning on him coming up here to visit for the first time. We're looking at a summer date since April wasn't enough time to get sorted and as it turns out, wouldn't have been the best time for me. We haven't met before, so this would be our first meeting in person.

He has a friend that lives in my area (a couple hours drive away) whom he's never met in person before either. He was talking to her about the visit and she suggested he fly in from Buffalo because it's cheaper and she could pick him up. I don't drive, otherwise I would've suggested that too. I don't want to sound selfish, but I kinda envisioned our first meeting to be 'private' and just the two of us. Even if she did offer to drive me there with him, it would be out of her way and our first few hours together would be in a car with her. :/ Oh, I should point out that I'm not jealous of her or anything like that. She's engaged to be married this fall and her fiance is one of his friends too that I believe lives in Buffalo.

I feel a bit bad for thinking all this because I know they would want to see each other too, but it's like his time is limited. Our biggest hurdle has basically been him getting time from work. We'd be lucky if he can get a week off to come up here. Most likely he'll just be up here for 2-3 days. And with it being the first meeting, my parents will want to meet him too, so that's one day where our alone time is gone. Is this too selfish of me? Has anyone else had this sort of thing happen?

[Yin Yang]

That's a difficult situation. I would suggest you talk to him and make him aware of how you feel about this.
You could maybe suggest that she comes and visits you both and spends an afternoon with you the second or third day. Or maybe she could give him a ride back to the airport.
Just talk to him, tell him you would like your first meeting to be private and special, without audience...

[Tanja]

It's not selfish, it's your first meeting and it's suppose to be special and private, I wouldn't have wanted anyone else there when I first met Andy.

You need to tell him how you feel, I'm sure he knows you're not jealous but you only want to be with him for the first time you'll meet face-to-face. I would've thought that's what he wants too tbh. But when you're open about it with him I'm sure he'll approciate your wish and at least agrees to make more time for just the two of you.

[agentholli]

No, you are not selfish!! My bf had talked about coming for our first meeting for Thanksgiving last year..it didn't end up happening..but i was super excited for him to meet all my family, however, I was also sad that I wouldn't just have him to my self. We have talked about this alot, me and him because I talk about him all the time to my family, and its important for me to have him meet them, but when its the first time I also just want it to be me and him. I almost want to keep it a secret, so that they j ust don't "show up" at my house or something. But at the same time....he is totally going to have to meet my parents. He has talked to my mom on the phone a couple of times and my parents realize just how much I love him...and he will have to meet them. So..i totally know the conflict you are having. I have the same one. My bff wants to meet him also, but I think..NO!! That is taking my time with him away..and I am going to be selfish!

[Alisz]

Thanks ^^ I'm glad it's not really a bitchy request for me to ask. I did sorta tell him how I felt when he mentioned it. I did the, "Oh..." thing and he sorta got the picture I wasn't thrilled with the idea. He didn't seem to be too enthusiastic about the idea either. I mean, he didn't push for it and said it was just an idea. Especially since whenever we do talk about the visit we joke around that we'll probably never leave the house. :P

He's the kind of guy who doesn't want to start any drama and I completely agree. The last thing I want is his friends to be angry or upset that he was here and didn't spend much time with them. I already ran into an issue where they thought I was hogging him... But it's his choice how he wants to spend his time, I don't force him to do anything. So, I'm a bit worried they'd start an argument or something because of that. And I'm a bit confused about their friendship. He's never once mentioned to me if he was going to their wedding in the fall, but says their all best friends (the 3 of them). They've had years to meet, so I don't know. :/

[Zephii]

Sharing time and sharing the first meeting is different, IMO. Perhaps you could make time to go up with him to visit them, or invite them down to your area and all go to dinner together or something? But that first meeting is something you'll always look back to.. so .. I think it's ok to push for it being just the two of you.

[JoMarie]

When I met Kevin for the first time I actually went to Virginia beach with my brothers. We stayed in different hotel rooms but I wanted my parents to feel safe about me being there. So it was private but protected at the same time. I think you should talk to him about it and let him know how you feel about it.

[Mio]

I hope you can sort out a meeting that will please you!