I'm not upset...or am I? Should I be? Nah, I shouldn't, right?

[BabyGund]

I am sure this is such a silly thing...I normally would put out my feelings on my blog here, but I actually want some feedback to this....

The Boy posts on a forum. Not an LDR forum, but a forum around a shared hobby. He posted a picture of himself there, a picture of him I had never seen before. A picture in which he looks handsomely smoking hot! And that's all fine and dandy, except....

The comments he's getting on the picture. From other women.

Now, he knows very well I have access to this forum, so I can see these responses; I've even teased him about his "groupies" there. He's assured me that these women mean nothing, he's taken by me, etc.

But yet I can't help but feel....jealous? Suspicious? Insecure?

Part of me feels proud - he IS very handsome and it's almost like all these women want him and yet he's mine, all mine...

Or is he?

I have no reason to distrust him. None. So am I being ridiculous? Part of this is the fact that although I have seen various pictures from this photo shoot he had done, it's obvious I haven't seen them all and then I wonder why is he hiding them? But I also understand wanting to have a certain part of yourself kept private. I'm that way myself.

And I know you all will say talk to him, talk to him but honestly, I feel silly for even bringing it up to him. It feels petty.

So what do you all think?

[acroush]

I have the jealous bug sometimes to and I think LDR can have a huge problem with it. When I get this way I talk honestly about how these things are making me feel with my partener and how uncomfortable it makes me feel. I know he is mine, but I am also very protective of what I have. I know he wont run off, but I still don't like other girls gawking at what is mine. Be honest with him and try not to blame him for what other people say about his pictures because he has no control over that, but let your feelings known and come up with a compromise!
You know you are awesome and if he does not listen to you and your feeling then you should rethink and evaluate what is important to having a real relationship. If he loves you and wants to make this LDR work he should listen and listen good!

[LadyMarchHare]

I have access to my boyfriend's photobucket, which is where he puts all his photos. I've only asked for pictures a couple times but they were in reference to something he wanted me to draw for him. It doesn't bother me that I don't get to exclusively see any photos he takes of himself or others have taken of him over the years as I don't do it with him either. We just put them where we know the other can gain access and choose to look or take them.

As for that, I wouldn't really call it a big deal unless he's flirting, seriously, in return. I'm wondering if perhaps in his mind this picture was decent enough for people to get the general idea of him or perhaps he thought he wasn't drop-dead gorgeous in it so as not to cause some panty riot there, which is why it was not shown to you but still used. I know my boyfriend, on his old Facebook, had some photos I thought he looked hot in and mentioning them embarrassed him and he didn't seem to agree with me. Vice versa I've taken pictures I find less than flattering of myself yet he loves to bits.

That, and it could be the flirting is in play and not meant to be taken seriously. I've play-flirted with guys on forums over the years and never had any attraction to them. Could also be compliments and flirting in the same way you might whistle at an underwear model in a catalogue and say he could ravage your sock drawer any day of the week. Merely suggestions, but it doesn't always have to be the worst case scenario or lead to insecurity. What's he gonna do, leave you for a girl he has one interest in common with as opposed to you? If he did he needs to be hit with a blunt object.

I don't necessarily think it's worth bringing up as there's no issue beyond what your mind is conjuring up out of insecurity and jealousy, which happens to all of us. But if it makes you THAT uncomfortable, you could always ask he remove the picture or change it.

[BabyGund]

Honestly, he's not flirting with any of them. He's friendly, sometimes flirty, but this time, I notice he's quite a bit shy and embarrassed by the comments. And I also know he's posted pictures of himself there that are quite unflattering so....

I'm wondering if perhaps in his mind this picture was decent enough for people to get the general idea of him or perhaps he thought he wasn't drop-dead gorgeous in it so as not to cause some panty riot there, which is why it was not shown to you but still used

.
I'm sure. It was decent enough - and I'm sure he didn't expect the reaction he got at all.

I talk honestly about how these things are making me feel with my partener and how uncomfortable it makes me feel.

But it's not like he is doing anything on purpose to hurt me. The reaction is all about ME. Eh, I don't know. I may mention it in passing, as a joke. See where the discussion goes from there...

[lucybelle]

I think not only is it perfectly normal to be slightly jealous, I also think it's healthy for a relationship. Of course there's an extreme that can terminate relationships as we've all seen too often on here. But for the most part it's good to see that other people think your man is hot or desirable. It reminds you how awesome you must be that he chose you over everyone else.

I've seen pictures of my SO with his female cousins, and was stilllll a little like "GET CHO HANDS OFF MY MAN!" haha But I didn't let that destroy my relationship. You said it yourself, you have no reason to not trust him. So TRUST HIM. He's a sexy man. Straight women love sexy men. The end.

[Tara_Lynn]

Logic and feelings never seem to go together!! I think it is natural to not really be jealous that females are flirting with him, but rather that someone else is getting to converse with/get attention from him. It's usually a common theme in LDRs that you want as much attention from your other half as possible.

And as much as you are glad that he has other things to do and other people to converse with it is all to easy to fell possessive of his time. Once again...feelings win and logic makes you feel guilty about those feelings. Lol.

[Rugger]

I have been known to get possessive of my boy. He's dead sexy so of course I don't want other women looking at him.

When he worked at the deli at school, girls would flirt with him all the time! I used to watch them while I was getting my lunch. My favorite part was when he'd come out from behind the counter to kiss me and I'd smile at them as I walked away. but I'm a bitch.

As long as you don't let it destroy your relationship, I'd say a bit of jealousy is fine.

[loveknowsnodistance27]

I think it's okay to feel that way, but as long as you're not overpossessive of him. My boyfriend told me when I was visiting about the night before I came up. One of the girls on his floor (there's only about 10 of them, and 40 guys or so) was walking around in a bikini to get the guys to go in the hot tub. A few followed, including my boyfriend. I actually wasn't jealous or mad, which I was surprised about. I'd seen the girl and I knew I had nothing to worry about lol. My boyfriend's seen me in a bikini before and he LOVES the way I look. She has nothing on me. xD (Sorry if I sound cocky...not trying to be.) Nothing actually happened in the hot tub, just a bunch of college students chilling out. The next night, Anthony and I started talking about something and somehow I ended up telling him about this bathing suit I bought recently, and he told me he can't wait to see me in it. =] Sorry for my rant. Back on topic, anyway....I'd say if it doesn't bother you THAT much, don't talk to him about it. It may open up a can of worms. But, if you feel it is necessary, maybe try jokingly bringing it up to lighten the mood a little bit.

[Silencedsongs]

Be proud of your man, and that he is yours.

As everyone has already stated, a little jealousy is normal and actually healthy in a relationship.

Trust in him, or maybe make a comment about how lucky you are to have such a handsome guy. It's acknowledging you're seeing their comments, but also asserting he's just as damned lucky to have you.

[Brandie]

I wouldn't suggest talking to him honestly. You know he is yours, and you know he knows that you're his woman. It's completely understandable that you would be a little jealous. Everyone gets jealous, it's making sure that your jealousy doesn't go too far and takes over your relationship. Just know that he is showing himself off in a guilt-free way, I'm sure he likes that feeling that other's think he is attractive, but he's taken and very happy, and I think that's ok for someone to have that feeling. Because he is all yours!

[Miramaid]

I think we all are human and we all have those feelings. I would totally feel the same. My SO is even WAY more sensitive aver things like that and even over things that have NOTHING to do with other men, but he think they do, so we all are insecure, jealous, pathetic, territorial or whatever you want to call it, but such is life.

Bring it up or not is your decision. But either way he should listen to you with respect and if it makes you uncomfortable, a good boyfriend would take that picture down. Just my personal opinion. Because that is not worth fighting for (but be prepared that he may not do that. Men a funny like that)

[kireinamida]

I have been known to get possessive of my boy. He's dead sexy so of course I don't want other women looking at him.

^ This. XD

I'm quite possesive too, so that would definitely make me jealous, but kind of proud. XD Because I know he's all mine. XD
As long as you know that he's not doing anything crazy, I think that would be fine. And like what the others said, I think a bit of jealousy wouldn't hurt.

[nicole]

Yes I think it's natural to get a bit jealous, I know I do. My SO is very charming and pretty and I know plenty of girls have had a crush on him. I know full well he'd rather ram bamboo under his fingernails then do anything to compromise our relationship, but it doesn't stop me betting the green eyes monster if I see someone trying to flirt with him, or write flirty things on his fb wall. It's not his fault, he doesn't react to it at all, it's THEM. Like my SO says "We trust each other, but we don't have to trust other people".

Good thing is when we are together, we are stuck like glue to each other, so I'd like to see anyone even try to flirt with him lol

[NaNi]

Well, my SO got hit on one time over Facebook and it made me incredibly jealous.

We weren't even officially dating back then...

But then we met for the first time and my SO put a picture of us as her display picture.

Her stalker didn't like it.

Yes, I might have gotten a kick out of that.

[blankita719]

Personally, I would just tell him that I thought that profile picture made him look hot and ask how come he doesn't use it for other things Then start the discussion from there. It's perfectly okay to have certain reactions to things, and discuss your felings with him. But it's all in the way you present it of course. If you're screaming and crying (not that I think you would) you'll get a bad reaction, but if you calmly and rationally describe your feelings about it, then he should understand.