I never really did a formal introduction so I wanted to post something really fast. (and maybe I'll use this thread for little updates because I am constantly moving around).
This story is kind of important for me to get out because as a couple we receive a lot of stigma, not from people who have seen us together of course. One, there is a 7 year age gap. Two, we live in different countries. Three, we met on the internet. I want other couples to know that they don't have to be embarrassed about this kind of thing. I spent a lot of time lying to people about how we met because I didn't want them to know we met on the internet. But times are changing and I'm out to remove the social stigmas!
When I was 14 years old my family had just gotten dsl, it was exciting to actually be able to use the internet. Although my parents really wouldn't not have approved if they had known, I spent a lot of time in chat rooms. Just skipping around from site to site, I was mainly interested in talking to people from other countries, I've always been fascinated with that kind of thing.
When I was 15, I met this really nice guy named Chris. Usually when spoke to people, it was just the once, and I never talked to them again. I was really conscious about being safe and I never gave out any information besides my name was Sarah and I was from the USA. But there was something different about this guy, he was from the UK and our 8 hour conversation was only interrupted because he had stayed up all night and now he had to go to work.
We mainly spoke about our interests, I've always been obsessed with history so it had a lot to do with that. Because of the partial anonymity we were really able to open up with one another about a lot of things. He was there for me through problems with friends and my parents divorce.
For a long time we never told each other our age, the curiosity was killing me! So finally when I asked him, he told me he was 22. I wasn't upset that he was so much older, at that time we weren't really going toward anything romantic anyway, I was just worried that if he knew my real age that he would think I was immature. So, I lied, I told him I was 18.
The fact that I lied killed me. I worried about it all the time, it was crazy guilt. I waited about a month for me to turn 16 (because that sounded a little better than 15) and I finally sent a long email explaining how bad I felt and what the truth was.
He completely understood and told me what an important friend I was to him. We continued to talk for a bit, but then he moved and didn't have internet for a while and we fell out of contact. I didn't really know exactly what happened and I didn't want to seem a nag and bombard him with emails. But one day, must have been almost a year later, I found him on myspace. Everything jumped right back into the way it was.
When I was 18, in my senior year of high school, I gave him my phone number! That was a great day, I remember thinking "what an accent!" And it was that day that I started planning my trip to England in the summer after graduation. I was telling one of my friends about my plans and how I was really nervous about meeting him. My friend told me "why are you waiting until summer! Go over Christmas break!" To this day, every time I see that friend I thank him, it truly is because of him that I have my current relationship and happiness.
I told my dad that my sister and I wanted to visit London on our own (he didn't know of Chris at time time, I didn't think he would approve). But he is smart, he found out. He looked up on my phone account who was calling me so often. When I explained he wasn't mad! I was so relieved, because this meant that he could go with me and I'd feel a lot better about everything.
So the day after Christmas in my senior year of high school, my dad, sister, and I went to London for 9 days. Chris lives just outside of London, but he took the train in on 4 of those days. It wasn't until after that I told him I only went to London for him, I didn't really want to put my self in such a vulnerable place, so I made it sound more like a family vacation that he was welcome to join. The first day we met was New Years Eve 2007. I had planned that if he was around for midnight, I would kiss him. This would have been big! I'm not very forward and he is very shy so we had never really entertained any romantic notions, although it was obvious there was lots of flirting. But, he had to catch the train and left around 11:30. So close.
The next few days I saw him I kept dropping subtle hints. I wanted to see if he would return anything, just so I could know where we stood before I put myself out there. But I wasn't getting anything. NADA. Needless to say, I got very fed up on the last day I was with him. I was quiet and upset, I was trying to come to terms that maybe friendship was what we were just meant to have.
I returned to Florida with only one new love: the city of London. I'd been home for a few days and hadn't spoken to him except in reply to a "made it back safely?" text. I was still kind of upset with what had happened and part of me wished I had just gone right out and said something, if I left it to him, it would never happen, he's just too shy. (which I thought was endearing until then)
Then one morning I had just gotten back from the gym and was getting ready for school. I checked my email real fast and had a lovely one from him. The subject was just "...." a few quotes: "I truly am profoundly glad to have met you. I don't just mean meeting you in person but glad of the one in a million chance of ever having come into contact with you." and "As great as talking to you on the phone or by other means is, it pales in comparrison to the real deal. Your personality is infectious, not once in the whole time did any of my ever present doubts or insecurities come to surface. As the old saying goes, when you smile the world smiles with you."
He never went right out and said anything, but this was definitely enough for me! I still remember it taking me 20 minutes to read the entire thing (which wasn't too long) just because I was crying so hard. I sent him a reply right away, to which I added "ps If you had stayed till midnight, I would have kissed you." My reply to this was a text while I was at school, all it said was "we need to talk."
OH NO! Did I just shoot myself in the foot and then stick it in my mouth!? Did I miss interpret what he was saying and take it too far? That night we talked, it was pretty late, found out later that it had taken him hours to dial my number. We talked casually for a long time. Finally we got into the topic of sharing secrets and random facts, something we did a lot. When it was his turn to tell me one he sad.... "I... I love you" - Mr. Darcy style and all. After nearly 3 years of getting butterflies at every email/text/call. There it was. I still cannot believe he did that, knowing how shy he is.
So our anniversary is both Jan 9th and 10th because it was past midnight for him, but not yet for me.
That summer he came to the states for the first time, and we got to meet each other all over again, this time, under completely different circumstances.
For my first year at university I studied abroad. (fall, spring and summer) in London. I spent a large amount of my time with Chris, we practically lived together.
I am now a Sophomore back in Florida to finish up my degree.
At first we were really good at that distance thing, because it was all we had ever known really. I had my life, he had his, and we got to speak to each other every now and then and really enjoy each others company. But after I lived there for a year, it makes coming back a whole lot harder.
I moved to the UK in August 2008, I was forced to return to the USA August 2009. - stoopid immigration laws.
He got to visit over Christmas this year, which was amazing, I liked showing him my university here. I'm looking forward to many more Christmases.
Right now, my next move is to spend 2.5 months there with him this summer. I am absolutely crazy with excitement. I don't think he will ever read this (even though he is a member on here), but if you are baby, I'd like you to tell your side on this thread..<3
Well that was a lot longer than I intended. Sorry if you read the whole thing. But I do want to thank all of you on here for making me see that I don't have to be ashamed of all these things that make our relationship special. Yes he is older than me, yes we are over 4,000 miles apart, yes we met on the internet. But we love each other. And that's all there is to it.
So for all you LDR couples that have met on the internet, or maybe haven't even met yet, I've been there! I know it seems awkward, like you are doing things backward. You are so close yet strangers at the same time. But, keep holding on, it is worth it.
over and out
This story is kind of important for me to get out because as a couple we receive a lot of stigma, not from people who have seen us together of course. One, there is a 7 year age gap. Two, we live in different countries. Three, we met on the internet. I want other couples to know that they don't have to be embarrassed about this kind of thing. I spent a lot of time lying to people about how we met because I didn't want them to know we met on the internet. But times are changing and I'm out to remove the social stigmas!
When I was 14 years old my family had just gotten dsl, it was exciting to actually be able to use the internet. Although my parents really wouldn't not have approved if they had known, I spent a lot of time in chat rooms. Just skipping around from site to site, I was mainly interested in talking to people from other countries, I've always been fascinated with that kind of thing.
When I was 15, I met this really nice guy named Chris. Usually when spoke to people, it was just the once, and I never talked to them again. I was really conscious about being safe and I never gave out any information besides my name was Sarah and I was from the USA. But there was something different about this guy, he was from the UK and our 8 hour conversation was only interrupted because he had stayed up all night and now he had to go to work.
We mainly spoke about our interests, I've always been obsessed with history so it had a lot to do with that. Because of the partial anonymity we were really able to open up with one another about a lot of things. He was there for me through problems with friends and my parents divorce.
For a long time we never told each other our age, the curiosity was killing me! So finally when I asked him, he told me he was 22. I wasn't upset that he was so much older, at that time we weren't really going toward anything romantic anyway, I was just worried that if he knew my real age that he would think I was immature. So, I lied, I told him I was 18.
The fact that I lied killed me. I worried about it all the time, it was crazy guilt. I waited about a month for me to turn 16 (because that sounded a little better than 15) and I finally sent a long email explaining how bad I felt and what the truth was.
He completely understood and told me what an important friend I was to him. We continued to talk for a bit, but then he moved and didn't have internet for a while and we fell out of contact. I didn't really know exactly what happened and I didn't want to seem a nag and bombard him with emails. But one day, must have been almost a year later, I found him on myspace. Everything jumped right back into the way it was.
When I was 18, in my senior year of high school, I gave him my phone number! That was a great day, I remember thinking "what an accent!" And it was that day that I started planning my trip to England in the summer after graduation. I was telling one of my friends about my plans and how I was really nervous about meeting him. My friend told me "why are you waiting until summer! Go over Christmas break!" To this day, every time I see that friend I thank him, it truly is because of him that I have my current relationship and happiness.
I told my dad that my sister and I wanted to visit London on our own (he didn't know of Chris at time time, I didn't think he would approve). But he is smart, he found out. He looked up on my phone account who was calling me so often. When I explained he wasn't mad! I was so relieved, because this meant that he could go with me and I'd feel a lot better about everything.
So the day after Christmas in my senior year of high school, my dad, sister, and I went to London for 9 days. Chris lives just outside of London, but he took the train in on 4 of those days. It wasn't until after that I told him I only went to London for him, I didn't really want to put my self in such a vulnerable place, so I made it sound more like a family vacation that he was welcome to join. The first day we met was New Years Eve 2007. I had planned that if he was around for midnight, I would kiss him. This would have been big! I'm not very forward and he is very shy so we had never really entertained any romantic notions, although it was obvious there was lots of flirting. But, he had to catch the train and left around 11:30. So close.
The next few days I saw him I kept dropping subtle hints. I wanted to see if he would return anything, just so I could know where we stood before I put myself out there. But I wasn't getting anything. NADA. Needless to say, I got very fed up on the last day I was with him. I was quiet and upset, I was trying to come to terms that maybe friendship was what we were just meant to have.
I returned to Florida with only one new love: the city of London. I'd been home for a few days and hadn't spoken to him except in reply to a "made it back safely?" text. I was still kind of upset with what had happened and part of me wished I had just gone right out and said something, if I left it to him, it would never happen, he's just too shy. (which I thought was endearing until then)
Then one morning I had just gotten back from the gym and was getting ready for school. I checked my email real fast and had a lovely one from him. The subject was just "...." a few quotes: "I truly am profoundly glad to have met you. I don't just mean meeting you in person but glad of the one in a million chance of ever having come into contact with you." and "As great as talking to you on the phone or by other means is, it pales in comparrison to the real deal. Your personality is infectious, not once in the whole time did any of my ever present doubts or insecurities come to surface. As the old saying goes, when you smile the world smiles with you."
He never went right out and said anything, but this was definitely enough for me! I still remember it taking me 20 minutes to read the entire thing (which wasn't too long) just because I was crying so hard. I sent him a reply right away, to which I added "ps If you had stayed till midnight, I would have kissed you." My reply to this was a text while I was at school, all it said was "we need to talk."
OH NO! Did I just shoot myself in the foot and then stick it in my mouth!? Did I miss interpret what he was saying and take it too far? That night we talked, it was pretty late, found out later that it had taken him hours to dial my number. We talked casually for a long time. Finally we got into the topic of sharing secrets and random facts, something we did a lot. When it was his turn to tell me one he sad.... "I... I love you" - Mr. Darcy style and all. After nearly 3 years of getting butterflies at every email/text/call. There it was. I still cannot believe he did that, knowing how shy he is.
So our anniversary is both Jan 9th and 10th because it was past midnight for him, but not yet for me.
That summer he came to the states for the first time, and we got to meet each other all over again, this time, under completely different circumstances.
For my first year at university I studied abroad. (fall, spring and summer) in London. I spent a large amount of my time with Chris, we practically lived together.
I am now a Sophomore back in Florida to finish up my degree.
At first we were really good at that distance thing, because it was all we had ever known really. I had my life, he had his, and we got to speak to each other every now and then and really enjoy each others company. But after I lived there for a year, it makes coming back a whole lot harder.
I moved to the UK in August 2008, I was forced to return to the USA August 2009. - stoopid immigration laws.
He got to visit over Christmas this year, which was amazing, I liked showing him my university here. I'm looking forward to many more Christmases.
Right now, my next move is to spend 2.5 months there with him this summer. I am absolutely crazy with excitement. I don't think he will ever read this (even though he is a member on here), but if you are baby, I'd like you to tell your side on this thread..<3
Well that was a lot longer than I intended. Sorry if you read the whole thing. But I do want to thank all of you on here for making me see that I don't have to be ashamed of all these things that make our relationship special. Yes he is older than me, yes we are over 4,000 miles apart, yes we met on the internet. But we love each other. And that's all there is to it.
So for all you LDR couples that have met on the internet, or maybe haven't even met yet, I've been there! I know it seems awkward, like you are doing things backward. You are so close yet strangers at the same time. But, keep holding on, it is worth it.
over and out
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