Venting, anyone want to give there thoughts?

[kiara_silver]

I feel like i have no contact to my SO. I can't call him for various reasons and he's so busy so i never know when he's online right now so its a guessing game and even though the past three days we have gotten to talk and everything i just feel distant. Theres not much that can be done right now, he has college and work and classes and so much on his plate and i would never ask for him to put priority's to the side. But I feel like before i was in a online relationship and now im in a long distance relationship, like now were separated. I really need to talk to him cause i have something important to discuss, and this is the part that i need opinions on.

My SO is coming this June! The original plan was he's coming to the airport and my mom will be coming with me to meet him. And were staying there for 3 days and then 2 days later we are going to my parents where I will introduce him to my dad and the rest of the family. My dad has no idea about any of this. My dad has never been supportive of my relationship, and we have had trouble communicating for awhile, and me moving out hasn't brought us closer. So coming to him is hard. But I know if i don't tell my dad he will feel i lied and deceived him. My dad says i deceived them for not telling them about my Nathan for the first 6 months. So I know this he will be very upset. So im planning on telling him. Any advice on how? He probaly won't want me to go, or want to go with me (which I don't want) or not want my mom to go. My dad is very non trusting of Nathan, he got upset with me because i was on webcam and one of my siblings were there and was on cam too, and that upset him. Plus he's always saying things like I don't know who he really is, he could be lying. Just really non trusting. So im thinking of telling him now and just getting it over with. But right now with me and Nathan, just feeling out of reach with him i dont feel very confident in speaking to dad. Not that i have doubts but whenever im with Nathan or talk to him i feel stronger and can stand up to my dad better, right now im scared to tell him, and don't know what to say and just, i hate the distance. I wish he could be with me to confront him. Anyways sorry im just venting and idk what im going to do at the moment. I want to tell dad but i also don't just its only 2 months away before Nathan comes so I need to decide soon... Sorry if this is all confusing and makes no sense, im confused myself

[LadyMarchHare]

If he's busy, then there's not much you can do except wait until he isn't. If it honestly bothers you, try and ask him if you two can schedule x amount of time a night or on certain nights of the week when he knows he won't be that busy and you have the time as well. That way you're not playing a guessing game with his online status and you have something to look forward to. Even on very busy days when he had to work late and get up early the next day, my SO used to get on the computer for about 10 minutes to talk to me and let me tell him about his day if I wanted. If you're happy with just 10 minutes here and there, then go for it.

As for your dad, if he's already pre-disposed to disliking Nathan and at the same time you, there's really nothing you can do but be straightforward. I would hope meeting him face to face would quell any of that distrust, but parents are unpredictable and protective. Plus daddies tend to be more stubborn, especially when it comes to daughters. Regardless of your feeling emotionally and physically distant from your SO I think it's better to go ahead and tell him rather than wait until you're on the doorstep and say "Surprise!" The man's entitled to his opinion, if he rants just nod and smile and try not to argue or play the "yeah, but..." game. Let him talk and if you have anything to add, say it, and be done with it. No use spitting venom at each other over something you're gonna do whether he approves or not.

[loveknowsnodistance27]

For the first part, this sounds exactly like me right now! My boyfriend is away at college, and I live at home and commute to college. This past week, he's made no effort to contact me, I've had to text him if we're going to talk. I think he's just been busy, but I always catch him at a bad time when I text. I'm getting frustrated in general, not at him, because I'm glad he's having a good time up at school. Tonight, I texted him and he took 3 hours to respond...turns out he's playing a 12 hour game with his floormates. I asked if we can talk on the phone tomorrow because I really need to make sure he's okay, and I just feel kind of forgotten about. I'm missing him like crazy and I feel terrible because I feel really clingy, which is exactly the girlfriend I don't want to be. He doesn't know I feel this way, so I may tell him in a calm, respectful way on the phone tomorrow. I really feel like we both need to work on our communication skills...we're both kind of lacking in that department at the moment. I hope it all works with you guys, too...but I recommend telling him how it makes you feel.

[GatoGirl]

"ask him if you two can schedule x amount of time a night or on certain nights of the week when he knows he won't be that busy and you have the time as well. That way you're not playing a guessing game with his online status and you have something to look forward to. "

This is what I was going to suggest. That helps my hb and me a bunch. My hb is a tax preparer so right now is his busy season, not to mention that taxes are his 2nd job, and his 'real' job is also busy. He calls me on his way into work for his day job. Some days it's only 10 min. but it's daily M-F, and we both can count on it. In fact, if one of us calls at a different time, it alarms the other one, because we think it's an emergency!

So see if the two of you can hammer out some sort of schedule. You need that, and there's nothing wrong with needing that. We all need some predictability, esp with stuff as important as a relationship.