Wedding Bells and Sea Creatures

[Lunar Snow]

Many know that my SO is quite uncomfortable with future talks and we have never even discussed the topic of our stances on marriage (though, I think it would be a nice idea to at least discuss how we feel about it). In the past week, it seems like my SO has been bringing up the topic of weddings and that seems out of character. However, it is not in a fun way full of possibilities and flirty hints for us, but sort of like a kid poking an unfamiliar sea creature with a stick.

I guess one of his younger cousins just shacked up with a girl still in high school (though it was seemingly of the moment, they did tell their parents the day of). Now, his other cousin is marrying a long-time girlfriend whom he has a baby with in an also rather spontaneous, though more expected wedding soon. Then, there is some other cousin who is getting married.

Why is my SO telling me all this? It's likely that it's something entertaining for us to talk about, I guess, but he could be bringing this up because he maybe has the slight inkling to hear what I think on the topic, too. Yet, I find myself having to bite my tongue because I would like to hear what he thinks about the whole thing, but I don't want to freak him out this close to a visit together.

He did say something to the effect of his great aunt encouraging him and his siblings not to marry too young this time around (which is more than he has ever said on the topic). I guess that was in response to the youngest cousin getting married, as the great aunt got married very young and her first years of marriage were "rocky." Was that a "no go" hint to me?

Thoughts from any of you sage LFADers?

[LadyMarchHare]

If there are a lot of wedding-related things happening around him I imagine it's the first topic he'd turn to in matters of discussing it in general as one would their day as well as just for the fact it's a subject more prevalent in his thoughts than before. Kind of a huge assumption to think he's playing red light, green light with you in regards to the possibility of you two getting married or not. Just discuss it with him on face value and if he inquires further deal with it then. If he freaks out about whatever your response is, that's entirely his problem and not yours as he's the one bringing up the subject.

[Lunar Snow]

Thanks for the response.

Gosh, no! I didn't mean at all that he would be playing games about us getting married, but rather that he might be attempting to discuss the idea of marriage (although with the story about the relative, I did maybe make the assumption that he was implying it was too soon for him to consider marriage to anyone, but saw that as part of his broad view on the subject in general). It seems to me that the word has never crossed his lips before in front of me and he so noticeably has avoided talking about anything like it, that I am actually regretting that I didn't seize the opportunity to get more info on his views on the subject. >.<;

I guess I was hoping that the subject might not be so frightening to him to talk about with spring in the air for his family. You are right that since he brought it up, it shouldn't be really be so traumatic (heh, heh) for him. I guess I feel like it should have been a topic of casual discussion when we first started getting to know each other, because it just seems like I could be dropping hints if I bring it up now.

If there are a lot of wedding-related things happening around him I imagine it's the first topic he'd turn to in matters of discussing it in general as one would their day as well as just for the fact it's a subject more prevalent in his thoughts than before. Kind of a huge assumption to think he's playing red light, green light with you in regards to the possibility of you two getting married or not. Just discuss it with him on face value and if he inquires further deal with it then. If he freaks out about whatever your response is, that's entirely his problem and not yours as he's the one bringing up the subject.