Fearing forever

[acroush]

I am not the kind of person who jumps into things with out thinking about them clearly and knowing what I want out of a relationship. In every relationship I feel I have always had my head on straight and know my goals in life and don't let a SO hold me back from them.

This time it is different. My SO and I have the same goals and are helping each other reach them. We are a partnership and raise each other up to better the entire relationship. We barely ever fight and if we do disagree it usually dwindles down to the distance being in the way and us just wanting to be together.

I am afraid of forever though. While I love him and I can see myself spending the rest of my life with him. I have never thought of any one as my "forever" boy. I have liked boys before, but not like this. I am scared of being hurt and putting myself out there like that. I feel like I have this irrational fear and I am afraid I am going to screw up an amazing thing because I can't control the vast feeling of being with someone forever.

I don't want past hurt to effect my current love... Any advice?

[rowba.fett]

past relationships do tend to have a bearing upon current feelings and the distance coupled with this sort of exasperates it. Ultimately, that person you were then, you are not now. The person you with now, is not your ex. You have new opportunities to grow, to shape the life the way you want it with someone who loves you in spite of your situation. There's great personal power in that. You both can manage it together. The real issue is why don't you ever feel like you want to commit to someone? That's a big and complex question, which, sadly, I don't have an answer for.

[Joyce:)]

being 18 you may not take me seriously or think i still have a long way to go, but i can assure you i have had a great deal of hurt, boyfriends who cheated, who would lie, so it took me by surprise when i met my SO.
i feel like what i have with him can last forever, and yes it will take a great deal of patience to overcome distance, but it's like he and i were meant to be, and i guess you cannot choose when love comes around.
Anyway, what i'm trying to say is that i did not expect a story with such comittment and so many emotions at 18, i wasn't ready even to consider thinking of a forever with someone, but the best things come when unexpected, and my boyfriend is the best unexpected thing that gives me so much hope and faith in the future. if your SO makes you a better person, if he encourages you and pushes you to be your best, just be grateful for how good he is to you. if he's willing to be your faithful love even half way across the world, then the chances that he might hurt you are beyond low.
Long distance is hurtful under so many ways, but its positive aspect is that it shows you the real colors of a person, it shows you how devoted they are, how much they care about you beyond what's physical.
your signature says "believeing in us since.." well, continue believeing that what you have is great, and it's worth putting yourself out there if in return you receive so much love.

[acroush]

being 18 you may not take me seriously or think i still have a long way to go, but i can assure you i have had a great deal of hurt, boyfriends who cheated, who would lie, so it took me by surprise when i met my SO.
.

I don't believe that age has anything to do with wisdom! I am a teacher and I have heard and read more profound things come from 15-19 year olds then I can even count. Don't ever think you opinion or advise means nothing because of your age because seriously sometimes you need to hear something good from a young mind.

Thank you for your kind words and advice.

[kiara_silver]

Forever is scary, and i think its natural to be afraid. Because your taking a huge leap of faith on someone saying you want to be with them for always so that means being so vulnerable, opening up and letting them in to be your one and only. I have fears on this too, My Nathan will be the first boy i have ever been out with, im only 18 but alreadyi want my SO to be mine forever but right now theres so many whats if's theres no guarantees, i hold back some because it is scary, you have your heart on the line but when you find someone special, that risk is worth taking. We only have one life, and if your lucky to find someone true to share it with then go for it. Look at all you guys made it through, i think long distance relationships are amazing because it makes us work harder and shows how much you want it. And if you have someone who is fighting just as hard that shows alot. So yes forever is scary but in the end if the love is true and real i say take that risk and go for it, because you don't want to miss out on a chance of something amazing. Sorry my advice isn't that helpful, maybe im just a crazy teen in love but i feel that if you find someone you care so much about don't let them go and make forever happen.

[LovingHim]

Before I met my boyfriend, I dumped every single guy I dated - I hate wasting my time. I wasn't entirely satisfied in a relationship with them. I kept making up reasons why not to go on a date, I couldn't be entirely myself, for example I do love making crafts for my boyfriend, surprising him, it makes me happy! I don't need gifts back, only a genuine thank you. However, if it was not appreciated I would stop doing it and I would miss it. Badly.

Then I met my boyfriend, we never argue, I can be with him 24/7 for weeks, or apart and I still haven't found anything I don't like about him (though we are together just over 8 months). He does so much for me, I would say more than he needs to, and I appreciate it so much. I can picture our future, but this 'forever part' kind of scares me as well. Not that I can't imagine being with him forever, I can, but we are very young, and being with one person FOREVER for 50, 60, 70 years will we be still happy, and in love? What if he gets bored of me and decide to 'enjoy his youth'...

But honestly, I love him every day more and more so I don't think about it much, anyway, what's the point of being with someone when you believe it won't last? Don't worry about it now, just enjoy what you have

[princessmeg1328]

Forever is kind of scary. Thinking about being with one person for years and years is scary. Yet when you're with the one who makes you happy and only wants the best for you, how can you not thinking of being with him or her? My SO is the most wonderful and amazing man I have ever known. I can't ever imagine being without him. He is my perfect fit. Forever isn't as scary once you're with the right person.

[Mizpah]

Forever isn't as scary once you're with the right person.

This! When you're with the right person, forever--as scary as it can be--doesn't feel long enough. I think you need to ease yourself into the mindset by not thinking of it as "forever," but as simply "being with the one you love." Do you have any plans to end the relationship? Can you picture your life without him? If the answer to both questions is "no," then don't worry about the labels. Focus on the relationship, the bond, the love, and the friendship that ties you together.

[kireinamida]

I think it's okay to be a bit scared because no one knows what might happen in the future. But like what the others said, if you know you're with the right person it wouldn't be as scary. Don't think about the word "forever" if it scares you, just be happy and think about the time that you spend with the person that you love.

[paulawriteslove]

Forever is definitely a scary thought sometimes. My best advice to give you is to just go with the flow and take things day by day