Dilemma.

[sagittariusgirl89]

Ok, so I've been doing long distance for 6 months, and Im at the point where I just wanna be with John. It is killing me emotionally when I'm missing John for like 1-2 weeks, and then he is finally here for 36 hours and I'm so happy, then he goes home again and I start feeling devastated and depressed.

I'm to the point where I wanna spend more time with him, but it's not as easy as it sounds. He works 2 jobs. When he isn't working one he is working the other. He lives with his parents and I have only met them twice, and whenever I am there I am soooooo nervous and shy. Both times I met them John was there. I asked him if there was any way I could go to his place sometime so I am with him longer than just 36hrs. He said I would have to stay at home with his parents.

I just know I'd be soooooo uncomfortable if John was working and I was at home with his parents who I am so shy and nervous around. Normally he works 6 hours at one job and sometimes he goes to the other for a couple hours after working the 6hr shift. If not, he goes on his day off for 3-4 hours.

I just don't know. Itd be nice knowing that I would be with him longer. But on the other hand I wouldnt wanna be alone with his parents when I am so shy, nervous, and quiet around them.

Opinions?

[Rach321]

If you are struggling so much and you have the opportunity to see him more often (even if it's just a few hours at a time), it's probably a good idea to at least try it out. It may be uncomfortable at first with his parents, but it's probably not something that you can't overcome if you spend more time with them. Forseeably, you will be with him for the rest of your life right? So, his parents will be your family. Try to see it that way and it might be easier, but don't feel like you have to be rushed into being best friends with them.

[sagittariusgirl89]

Yeah, I guess you're right. It's just so uncomfortable. But I texted John and told him I wanna spend more time with him. He lives 2 hours away so hopefully he will pick me up tonight....but I doubt it.

[agentholli]

Dang! I would take all the time I could even if it meant staying with the parents, cause what rach said, they will be your family and the more you get to know them now, the better! Be thankful for what you have also. I know that its hard but when you are missing him, think of other people that haven't met each other, or that lives oceans apart and can't see eachother but once a year. Trying to focus on the good things, and not the bad things, help me to overcome my sadness when I am really missing my SO. Good luck! Hopefully you will be able to overcome the shyness with the parents!

[Bluestars]

Even if you are awkward at first, this would probably be a great opportunity to get to know his parents. Like Rachel mentioned, if you end up together for the long run, then they will become your family as well. I have social anxiety, so I know where you are coming from, but sometimes you just have to put yourself in these situations. Maybe they aren't so bad. You make them a present to show that you care when you come. You could try striking conversation with them to see what you have in common. You could ask about your boyfriend's childhood and maybe they could show you pictures. If all else fails and it is still awkward, then you could just stay in his room and chill the entire time. You could say that you have school work and you could use this as study time.

It sounds like that would be worth trying at least once. Think about it this way. This would give you a chance to do something for your boyfriend so he is not the only one always putting in the effort

[Mio]

I know how you feel, originally I felt the same way, but eventually I started to feel comfortable with the parents. But it's good, to get to spend more time with them, it will open your relationship more.