I feel sick to my stomach....

[acroush]

Don't do anything rash, like canceling your trip because if it all works out, which I know it will, you will be heartbroken </3

Give him a little time. He might just be angry at the whole situation and needs to cool off before he can have a serious conversation with you. I would also stop texting him and call him. Sometimes things can be misread in texts and need actual conversation to be better explained.

Besides that I agree with everyone above me. Relax and see what happens. I get angry at these kind of things to, but I try... key word try not to let it bother me, because in the end I will be in my boys life and those stupid imature girls won't unless you let them

Lots of love!

[LadyMarchHare]

i dunno, he hasn't talked to me since Saturday... he wont return my text messages, he didnt delete the picture of the two of them, nor any of the other ones she posted. It's like the first 5 times she's done this, I did ignore it and just didnt dwell on it very much at all... but then it just kept on happening...and it made me a little insecure...and then it kept happening...and so now im even more insecure. she's basically been doing this for like 5 months now...and i've tried ignoring it initially, but its actually just getting worse, doesn't go away. now i am just afraid i've completely driven him away or something. Not sure why he wont call or text me back.

He might not be replying if your messages sound upset/hysterical/angry to him, he may just be giving you space to calm down before he feels it's alright to talk without risking an argument or something like that. My SO did the same to me once when I got angry about something and he waited until I had worn myself out to contact me and explain everything.

Have you blocked any of these girls at all? Far as my knowledge goes if you block someone on FB you can't even see their tagging people in albums, what they comment on even if you're "mutual friends" and so on. Might be better than having the temptation to look whenever she tags him in something or what have you.

[Mizpah]

What do these girls have to do with your relationship? NOTHING! So why are you letting them destroy it? You don't have to trust those girls, but you should trust your SO. They are jealous and petty people that he obviously has little to do with, so what they do should not bother you. He loves you, he's chosen you, and they will get used to it or they won't. That's THEIR business. As a couple, you need to be a united front, and texting him angry over something he has no control over or knowledge of is not the way to do that. My husband and I lived with one girl, sometimes TWO, that were like that and worse, but we remained strong and a team. He defended me when necessary, but I did not put any undo stress on him to try to "fix" a problem that only existed for two unstable girls, his teenage sister and brother's crazy married-to-another-man girlfriend.

It got worse before it got better with them (the sister even attacked me physically) and we opted to elope instead of having our wedding, but they lost because they couldn't ruin our relationship or take away our happiness and love. They've given up trying to make our lives hell, and are now content making messes of their own lives. While all THAT was going on, my husband and I were dealing with his crazy ex-girlfriend who he had a very short LD relationship with. On our anniversary a day after we closed the distance, a book arrived on our doorstep via the post that she had written about them and their "love" story including all their messages back and forth to each other. He sent her a none-to-kind message telling her that she did not have his permission to publish (she really wanted to publish the garbage) it and that he was happy, engaged, and did not want any further contact. She of course did not listen (and this wasn't her first stunt), but we simply ignored her and blocked her on FB, but she's still FB friends with a lot of our friends, and really we couldn't care less. It is unfair of you to expect your SO to be able to control their behavior. Your SO's still with you, and that makes the biggest statement of all to those girls, so please focus on your relationship and let those girls find their next distraction or you risk losing your SO and that will have nothing to do with them.

[OliveOyl]

lady: good point re: texting. lol. however, yea, I did block them, but because they tagged him in the picture I saw the picture and thus went apesh*t! jaja. Still need to wait until tomorrow to re-block them all. I just hope he doesn't doing anything hasty! ugh, i feel just awful now! :-\

[LadyMarchHare]

lady: good point re: texting. lol. however, yea, I did block them, but because they tagged him in the picture I saw the picture and thus went apesh*t! jaja. Still need to wait until tomorrow to re-block them all. I just hope he doesn't doing anything hasty! ugh, i feel just awful now! :-\

Hmn, I didn't know that FB still allowed that to come through the feed. Then again there are very few people I've blocked on that site, fewer still that have any mutual friends to where I could test the limits of the block. So yeah I can totally see where you'd be PO'd, thinking you solved that particular problem then BAM there they are again. Makes more sense now. Sorry you're going through that, though, women can be the nastiest buggers when it comes to fight tactics and sneaking in biting remarks. Men use fists and spit on each other, women go for the jugular using only a look.

[Mizpah]

Actually, it might show the picture, but not the name or default of the person who posted it. I know this from some tagged pictures of Aaron that his ex has up in one of her albums. Also, I have noted since blocking one of my ex's, I can't even see what he posts on mutual friends statuses (I found this out when someone was replying to him in status, but there was nothing that I could see to reply to), so if the two girls are blocked then you shouldn't see their comments or names and defaults...

Edit: I forgot to add, if you have an older version of Facebook (thanks to their incessant upgrades) it might show their name as un-clickable gray and no default.

[Semperfikindoflove]

I know how you feel. For a while I had an issue with a lot of my boyfriend's friends. But the thing you have to remember is that this is your relationship. They don't get a say in it. You two need to discuss what happens in these situations. Make it clear that your friends will NEVER email him so you avoid this issue in the future, both of you need to discuss how to handle these women as well. Obviously, they are trying to get at you. Block them or figure out some way to not see the posts, that way you don't think about it or see it. It's hard to do but once you realize that you are what matters to him and you two have discussed how to handle these situations, there will be no more issues with these two.

[Lunar Snow]

Hey, I have read through all the posts periodically today, but you will have to excuse me if I get anything confused because I am running a fever right now @.@!

I agree with a lot of the advice and encouragement you have received. Having had somewhat similar situations myself, it can be kind of hard to hear some of that advice but I do think that everyone is coming from a perspective to genuinely help you and encourage you to feel more positive. I think one of the hardest things to hear is "calm down"--it's not that easy or instantaneous (and for whatever Irish and Greek blood is in me, it just adds kerosene to the fire! Hahaha). Yet, if you wait until you feel calmer it might make things easier to discuss with your SO. I really liked what someone said earlier about having a united front on this issue with your SO. Tackling an issue together is part of being in a couple.

I do want to say that although he can't control or declare what his friends say or do, there are some things in his control that I think he could (and should) take action on. For instance, it wouldn't be any great skin off his nose to sign into Facebook and untag himself from these photos. Others may not agree with me, but I think this inaction to do something that is fairly simple and within his control is part of why you are questioning your trust for him and feeling sad that he won't come to your defence. Additionally, though he can't demand certain behaviours out of these people, I think that he could ask these girls to back off and move on in a short, simple way because HE doesn't like what they are saying. He doesn't have to pin it on you, but rather be clear that he is with someone else, is happy, and doesn't want to dwell on a past that he has moved on from.

Lastly, others have said it, but seriously don't cancel your trip. I have a cornucopia of reasons (which include some of his nasty friends) why I'm anxious about seeing my SO again (in less than two weeks now!), but that is all countered by how much I am looking forward to seeing him and how much we really do need that in-person time together as a couple.

Best wishes and keep all of us posted on how working this stuff out goes.

[OliveOyl]

wowsers! thank you all so much for replying back to this thread. interestingly, it actually helped calm me down to know that this isn't abnormal to experience! jaja. I guess I have honestly been in very few relationships. This is one of the longer ones that I have been through...and I have never had to deal with another jealous exgf, exwhomever it is before I knew him. Sad thing, is that we already dealt with something similar with his exfiance, and now it is this girl and his cousin. I'm just sick and tired of it. It is soooo annoying.

I definitely feel the united front thing. I think my trust issues have kind of overpowered the whole teamwork thing I should have been focusing on, I think it was triggered by bad advice from a friend, she made me super paranoid...and I snapped after my SO initially calmed me down and made me feel safe. :-\ And then every other person I have talked to says I should trust my SO, which I know I should have done from the very beginning. I stopped my text messages. I figure when he is ready to talk, he will. I know I should trust him, and since realizing that I should, I have calmed down a lot. I am though, still worried about him getting back to me. I am just leaving to him in about 7 days.....:-\ really bad timing to get in a fight.

Last night, I couldn't sleep at all, I didn't get any form of communication from him. I was worried he wasn't sleeping/dreaming of me. We usually say voy a sonar contigo.. which is like i am going to dream with you. So, I was a little worried he wasn't dreaming with me...or about me...and then last night I had the most beautiful dream that I was staying at my aunties house and my SO came over (from mexico) just to hold me in his arms until I fell asleep. The only sad part, is that while I was sleeping, my SO left the bed to go to work... and poof he was gone when I finally woke up in the dream. I know this is silly, but I rarely ever dream of my SO so vividly. Usually it is a lover or whatever, but there are no real phyisical characteristics so to speak. But then one, EVERYTHING was so vivid and I felt so happy and safe. :-\ Hopefully in 8 days I will be experiencing that in real life.

ANyhoo, thank you all so much for your kind words and encouragement and sharing some inspiring stories. I really needed it to lift my spirits. It helps to know I am not the only one experiencing this/ or to have experienced something similar. And when anything changes, believe you me, everyone will know. And I can only hope he really does love me and will hopefully forgive me for being completely paranoid. *fingers crossed*

[OliveOyl]

wowsers! thank you all so much for replying back to this thread. interestingly, it actually helped calm me down to know that this isn't abnormal to experience! jaja. I guess I have honestly been in very few relationships. This is one of the longer ones that I have been through...and I have never had to deal with another jealous exgf, exwhomever it is before I knew him. Sad thing, is that we already dealt with something similar with his exfiance, and now it is this girl and his cousin. I'm just sick and tired of it. It is soooo annoying.

I definitely feel the united front thing. I think my trust issues have kind of overpowered the whole teamwork thing I should have been focusing on, I think it was triggered by bad advice from a friend, she made me super paranoid...and I snapped after my SO initially calmed me down and made me feel safe. :-\ And then every other person I have talked to says I should trust my SO, which I know I should have done from the very beginning. I stopped my text messages. I figure when he is ready to talk, he will. I know I should trust him, and since realizing that I should, I have calmed down a lot. I am though, still worried about him getting back to me. I am just leaving to him in about 7 days.....:-\ really bad timing to get in a fight.

Last night, I couldn't sleep at all, I didn't get any form of communication from him. I was worried he wasn't sleeping/dreaming of me. We usually say voy a sonar contigo.. which is like i am going to dream with you. So, I was a little worried he wasn't dreaming with me...or about me...and then last night I had the most beautiful dream that I was staying at my aunties house and my SO came over (from mexico) just to hold me in his arms until I fell asleep. The only sad part, is that while I was sleeping, my SO left the bed to go to work... and poof he was gone when I finally woke up in the dream. I know this is silly, but I rarely ever dream of my SO so vividly. Usually it is a lover or whatever, but there are no real phyisical characteristics so to speak. But then one, EVERYTHING was so vivid and I felt so happy and safe. :-\ Hopefully in 8 days I will be experiencing that in real life.

ANyhoo, thank you all so much for your kind words and encouragement and sharing some inspiring stories. I really needed it to lift my spirits. It helps to know I am not the only one experiencing this/ or to have experienced something similar. And when anything changes, believe you me, everyone will know. And I can only hope he really does love me and will hopefully forgive me for being completely paranoid. *fingers crossed*

[nicole]

wowsers! thank you all so much for replying back to this thread. interestingly, it actually helped calm me down to know that this isn't abnormal to experience! jaja. I guess I have honestly been in very few relationships. This is one of the longer ones that I have been through...and I have never had to deal with another jealous exgf, exwhomever it is before I knew him. Sad thing, is that we already dealt with something similar with his exfiance, and now it is this girl and his cousin. I'm just sick and tired of it. It is soooo annoying.

I definitely feel the united front thing. I think my trust issues have kind of overpowered the whole teamwork thing I should have been focusing on, I think it was triggered by bad advice from a friend, she made me super paranoid...and I snapped after my SO initially calmed me down and made me feel safe. :-\ And then every other person I have talked to says I should trust my SO, which I know I should have done from the very beginning. I stopped my text messages. I figure when he is ready to talk, he will. I know I should trust him, and since realizing that I should, I have calmed down a lot. I am though, still worried about him getting back to me. I am just leaving to him in about 7 days.....:-\ really bad timing to get in a fight.

Last night, I couldn't sleep at all, I didn't get any form of communication from him. I was worried he wasn't sleeping/dreaming of me. We usually say voy a sonar contigo.. which is like i am going to dream with you. So, I was a little worried he wasn't dreaming with me...or about me...and then last night I had the most beautiful dream that I was staying at my aunties house and my SO came over (from mexico) just to hold me in his arms until I fell asleep. The only sad part, is that while I was sleeping, my SO left the bed to go to work... and poof he was gone when I finally woke up in the dream. I know this is silly, but I rarely ever dream of my SO so vividly. Usually it is a lover or whatever, but there are no real phyisical characteristics so to speak. But then one, EVERYTHING was so vivid and I felt so happy and safe. :-\ Hopefully in 8 days I will be experiencing that in real life.

ANyhoo, thank you all so much for your kind words and encouragement and sharing some inspiring stories. I really needed it to lift my spirits. It helps to know I am not the only one experiencing this/ or to have experienced something similar. And when anything changes, believe you me, everyone will know. And I can only hope he really does love me and will hopefully forgive me for being completely paranoid. *fingers crossed*

oh I hear you on the one after another bit. After one of my SO's exs spent the best part of 4 months trying to break us up, once we went out with a group of friends and he goes "Oh crap my crazy ex is in the other room, she'd better not come over here" and when I asked him if it was the one who had been causing all the trouble, I got "No, this is another one." Me = T_T. She did come over, ignored me and started trying to organize a road trip "just me and you" with him. I tell you, if any more crazies came out of the woodwork, I'd of got a bit paranoid and upset too- It's hard when people drive you to breaking point, and all you want is your SO to protect you. Just always remember, he's on your side, those girls are forcing him to be stuck in the middle. He will see you've calmed down and communicate soon I am sure

[OliveOyl]

oh my goodness nicole! how did you not strangle her?! jajaja! That is soooo ridiculous!

[LadyMarchHare]

oh I hear you on the one after another bit. After one of my SO's exs spent the best part of 4 months trying to break us up, once we went out with a group of friends and he goes "Oh crap my crazy ex is in the other room, she'd better not come over here" and when I asked him if it was the one who had been causing all the trouble, I got "No, this is another one." Me = T_T. She did come over, ignored me and started trying to organize a road trip "just me and you" with him. I tell you, if any more crazies came out of the woodwork, I'd of got a bit paranoid and upset too- It's hard when people drive you to breaking point, and all you want is your SO to protect you. Just always remember, he's on your side, those girls are forcing him to be stuck in the middle. He will see you've calmed down and communicate soon I am sure

I would've asked if they'd mind if I rode in the trunk. It's kind of sad how low people sink to incite some form of jealousy when otherwise for all we know they could be completely over the person.

[Gelfling]

I may have missed it, since I'm tired and about to take a nap, but if you haven't yet, I would recommend a text or something letting him know that you realize you went a little off the deep end and you're sorry and you're calming down, now. Otherwise, he could still be gearing up to confront active jealousy issues which is more stressful than discussing ones that are mostly past and therefore might delay contact.

[nicole]

oh my goodness nicole! how did you not strangle her?! jajaja! That is soooo ridiculous!

oh I know- she is ridiculous. I did sort of retaliate.... I made out with him when I knew she was looking over at us.... don't think she liked it... she left pretty quickly