Possibly getting kicked out for visiting my SO

[lovetakestime12]

I'm 18 now, so I decided to buy a plane ticket to see my SO of almost 2 years (we met in person and seen each other twice after that). I told my mom the other day and she's pissed. Now she says if my dad decides to kick me out then I have to leave. This is unfair because my brother did pretty much the same thing to see his other girlfriends, and no one cared. But I guess that's double standards for you. I already paid for the ticket so I'm still going. My 2 older sisters think I should be able to go, but I already know they won't listen to them. I still need to tell my dad, but the situation sucks.

[LadyMarchHare]

I was pretty scared my mom would kick me out when I wanted to visit my SO, but I have the comfort of knowing she relies on me financially enough that she'd be dumber if she did. Have you spoken directly to your dad about this, or just your mom? Cuz unless it comes out your dad's mouth I'm gonna assume it's your mom who would be advocating for you being booted out.

My cousin's fiance pretty much gets treated that way with her family, but they're old-world Korean so they tend to hold more respect for boys anyway. I suppose if you can't settle something with your parents, worse comes to worse take a house key and have one of your sisters make sure they don't put your stuff out on the curb while you're gone. Depending on if you bought any of it with your own money, it's actually illegal anyway. But you are an adult now and you're old enough to make your own decisions regarding where you go, who you date, and so on. Sometimes parents have a rough time acknowledging that.

[Sav88]

Well you're 18 and so you should be able to do that. I'm nearly 23 and I'm still scared of making my Dad angry. I just had to start putting my foot down and tell him I'm old enough to make my own choices and if I stuff it up, I'll just have to deal with it. You need to do things to learn. So go ahead and fly to him It'd really be bad parenting if they kick you out for doing what you want to do.

[lovetakestime12]

I was pretty scared my mom would kick me out when I wanted to visit my SO, but I have the comfort of knowing she relies on me financially enough that she'd be dumber if she did. Have you spoken directly to your dad about this, or just your mom? Cuz unless it comes out your dad's mouth I'm gonna assume it's your mom who would be advocating for you being booted out.

My cousin's fiance pretty much gets treated that way with her family, but they're old-world Korean so they tend to hold more respect for boys anyway. I suppose if you can't settle something with your parents, worse comes to worse take a house key and have one of your sisters make sure they don't put your stuff out on the curb while you're gone. Depending on if you bought any of it with your own money, it's actually illegal anyway. But you are an adult now and you're old enough to make your own decisions regarding where you go, who you date, and so on. Sometimes parents have a rough time acknowledging that.

My parents don't really need me here for anything really, but they will if my dad ever gets a job again. I've only talked to my mom so far, so soon I'll have to tell my dad, but I don't doubt that he won't kick me out either. I have a house key, and if push comes to shove, then I can probably stay with my sister for awhile until something gets resolved. I honestly think me getting kick out is a way of threatening me, and hopefully not permanent. If it is then there's not much to do, but move on.

[lovetakestime12]

Well you're 18 and so you should be able to do that. I'm nearly 23 and I'm still scared of making my Dad angry. I just had to start putting my foot down and tell him I'm old enough to make my own choices and if I stuff it up, I'll just have to deal with it. You need to do things to learn. So go ahead and fly to him It'd really be bad parenting if they kick you out for doing what you want to do.

I understand. My dad gets very angry when we go against him, even if he's obviously wrong. He's stubborn. My mom accepted me going. She's still mad about it, but she accepted it. I agree that we need to do things to learn, and I just wished they could understand that. I don't plan on cancelling the trip. It's kind of too late for that anyway lol I agree with the bad parenting. I just don't see it as a good reason to kick someone out. Especially since this is the only time I've done something without their permission

[imtotallyunique]

wow i dont understand why they would do that? :S
im really sorry :/ hm so do you know why theyre so mad?
like does ur have financial problems? or what?
because from what you said there is nothing anyone should be mad about

[uniquefem]

Humm.. we are in different culture.. but the thing i could say is to be responsible to your self and your parents. Be safe during the journey/trip with your SO show them that you could be responsible to your self. Also being responsible to your parents by telling them clearly that you are going to visit your SO, tell them where, and how long you will do traveling, tell them that you will contact them while you were there.

If they pissed off and kick you out of the house, well... you talk to them honestly already! you're 18 and you could made your own decision already. Tell them you will be all right. I can't see why they had to kick you out for being responsible to tell them the truth that you are going to visit your SO (well.. others 18 might will going on run away "mode" and being irresponsible and made their parents worry to death.. while you show them you're not that kind of teenage!).

First time i went by my self to other town with my own money is at age 23. But i am an Asian, live with conventional Asian family in SE Asia jungle. Single girls just not traveling by them self here. My mom said she will kick me out if i step out the door that day, we had big fight. She had 4 daughters and none did what i did that day. I walk out side to the airport and my sister drove me to airport.

When i return from traveling i talk again with her when she already chill out. Say i am 23, i am not 7 y/o. I do realize every action that i take, no one push me to do the traveling and, i am not insane too, bottom line, i will be all right! I show them that i able to do traveling by my self, i came back home safe and sound.

They were just a worry parents.. that what you should understand.

[lovetakestime12]

wow i dont understand why they would do that? :S
im really sorry :/ hm so do you know why theyre so mad?
like does ur have financial problems? or what?
because from what you said there is nothing anyone should be mad about

My mom didn't want me to buy my own ticket with my own money, and she didn't want me to go by myself. But I really have no one to go with me and she knows that. My dad just have issues with boyfriends. Well my mom is the only one working right now, but I bought the ticket with my own money.

[lovetakestime12]

Humm.. we are in different culture.. but the thing i could say is to be responsible to your self and your parents. Be safe during the journey/trip with your SO show them that you could be responsible to your self. Also being responsible to your parents by telling them clearly that you are going to visit your SO, tell them where, and how long you will do traveling, tell them that you will contact them while you were there.

If they pissed off and kick you out of the house, well... you talk to them honestly already! you're 18 and you could made your own decision already. Tell them you will be all right. I can't see why they had to kick you out for being responsible to tell them the truth that you are going to visit your SO (well.. others 18 might will going on run away "mode" and being irresponsible and made their parents worry to death.. while you show them you're not that kind of teenage!).

First time i went by my self to other town with my own money is at age 23. But i am an Asian, live with conventional Asian family in SE Asia jungle. Single girls just not traveling by them self here. My mom said she will kick me out if i step out the door that day, we had big fight. She had 4 daughters and none did what i did that day. I walk out side to the airport and my sister drove me to airport.

When i return from traveling i talk again with her when she already chill out. Say i am 23, i am not 7 y/o. I do realize every action that i take, no one push me to do the traveling and, i am not insane too, bottom line, i will be all right! I show them that i able to do traveling by my self, i came back home safe and sound.

They were just a worry parents.. that what you should understand.

I've never gave my parents any reason to believe that I was irresponsible, and I always watch my surroundings so I don't get into any trouble. I have told my mom I was going, I just need to tell my dad now. After I tell him I'm gonna tell them when I'm going, how long, and I plan on leaving the address of the place I'm staying and numbers. I always let them know where I am when I'm out.

I wasn't planning on keeping the trip I secret, so that's why I told/am telling them.

I'm glad you took that step to show her that you can take care of yourself, and she doesn't need to worry. I have 4 other sisters, and all of them are afraid to travel because of the rules our parents gave the girls. I'm the only one who has ever done this kind of thing.

[LadyMarchHare]

My parents don't really need me here for anything really, but they will if my dad ever gets a job again. I've only talked to my mom so far, so soon I'll have to tell my dad, but I don't doubt that he won't kick me out either. I have a house key, and if push comes to shove, then I can probably stay with my sister for awhile until something gets resolved. I honestly think me getting kick out is a way of threatening me, and hopefully not permanent. If it is then there's not much to do, but move on.

Empty threat, basically. I mean there are parents who throw their kids out for less (I had a friend whose mom threw her out on a weekly basis for stuff like not making her bed, usually a day or two later her mom would call her crying and saying she wanted her back in case a natural disaster hit and they had to evacuate. Woman was a loon) but unless your parents have acted like this in the past with you or any of your siblings I'm not entirely concerned about the reality of it. I've been unofficially disowned by my dad three times yet he still bothered with me. Heck I've been threatened with being disowned by my mom if I married my SO, but I doubt she would go through the paperwork because I put on a white dress and said, "I do."

Anyway, that might be a good idea to set up a backup plan with your sister so you're still with family and have support while you try and reason with whoever decided you needed to vacate the premises. I'm still trying to figure out why your mom would even suggest such a thing for that reason alone. It's not like throwing you out is going to stop you from doing anything bad they might be thinking of.

[lovetakestime12]

Empty threat, basically. I mean there are parents who throw their kids out for less (I had a friend whose mom threw her out on a weekly basis for stuff like not making her bed, usually a day or two later her mom would call her crying and saying she wanted her back in case a natural disaster hit and they had to evacuate. Woman was a loon) but unless your parents have acted like this in the past with you or any of your siblings I'm not entirely concerned about the reality of it. I've been unofficially disowned by my dad three times yet he still bothered with me. Heck I've been threatened with being disowned by my mom if I married my SO, but I doubt she would go through the paperwork because I put on a white dress and said, "I do."

Anyway, that might be a good idea to set up a backup plan with your sister so you're still with family and have support while you try and reason with whoever decided you needed to vacate the premises. I'm still trying to figure out why your mom would even suggest such a thing for that reason alone. It's not like throwing you out is going to stop you from doing anything bad they might be thinking of.

Wow. That is a bit extreme. No one has been officially been disown by my parents, but most of them are grown and out on their own right now.

Oh sorry. Forgot to answer that part. I told them I wanted to go out there and visit before and my dad told her "if she leaves then tell her to not to come back." I was only 17 at that time, but I've tried to get him to meet my SO before. I've asked if he could stay at our house so they could meet; the answer was no. And then he was in my state for a week not too long ago, and he made no attempt to meet him. He didn't even care that he was out here. But he has let my brother bring girls to the house and stay over, and wanted to meet them.

[princessmeg1328]

To me, dads always seem to be a little more protective of their daughters than sons. Just keep in mind that your parents are doing what they think is best. I know you're 18 and technically able to do whatever you want, but they just want the best for you. Maybe if you prove that you are responsible on this trip, they will lighten up and be more willing to meet your SO in the future.

[Silencedsongs]

While echoing what everyone else is saying, try to show them the responsible aspects you're taking. If you're going no matter what, give you mom the number and address of where you will be staying in case of emergencies. I want to suggest giving them the number of your guy, but that's only if you trust your parents not to abuse that information.

My brother once got threatened to be thrown out because he bought a motorcycle. My mom went ballistic. When he got a tattoo, she went at him with a shaving razor... Luckily, for me... my brother broke some things out of my mom. When it comes to things of a romantic nature with a man involved, my dad is the tough cookie and not beyond the reach of double standards.

Approach him confidently, but politely state what you're planning.

Good luck, chicka!

[Itsmy6]

I'm 23 and highly scared to tell my mom I want to go see my SO. I know I'll get the usual 20 question quiz and I'm not ready for that right now.

[LadyMarchHare]

I'm 23 and highly scared to tell my mom I want to go see my SO. I know I'll get the usual 20 question quiz and I'm not ready for that right now.

21 and you should've seen the fit my mom pitched when she learned her baby didn't have her v-card anymore. I know most parents mean well, but they can be pretty frightening even when we're adults. Then again I don't think you ever get over fearing your parents' authority even when it's been nulled.