worry about my relationship

[JessicaTran05]

Hello, I have been absent from here for awhile and wanted to get back to get some advice. My relationship with my girlfriend has been good generally but with occasionally arguing over small stuff. Recently, our conversation has been lacking substance, it was still good but there were things about our relationship that we can't talk about when she is at home. The reason why is because her sister live with her also and we have to hide our relationship. I don't like to live in hiding about our relationship but there are nothing I could do about this. I have to hang on and support my girlfriend because she goes through a lot more than me to hide from her sister. Recently, her sister has been questioning her of why and jokingly say that we are different than other people. A little background, my gf live in Vietnam, where it is very conservative and people will not accept her for who she is. My girlfriend has mention briefly that she has to rethink some stuff and that got me very afraid. I am afraid that she will break up with me and I am afraid that our relationship would end not because we are mad at each other, not because we don't love each other but because of environmental and cultural barriers. I write this very calmly but my heart is breaking thinking about breaking up with her.

I have thought of several time to break up with her, for her benefit, break up with her because I love her so much and that I want her to find her own true happiness. But I am always selfish and never could do it. I wish I would be a little bit more selfless and then I would be able to break up with her. I know I need to have a conversation with her and I don't know how it will be. I have always told her that I will always be by her side and that I always love her no matter what life bring us. I hope that life could bring us together but I don't know anymore

[LadyMarchHare]

You need to talk to her. Personally I wouldn't find it fair if I was broken up with on the mindset my SO wanted me to find happiness elsewhere because being together was hard. Talk with her as much as you can about if she feels that the relationship is worth this hardship, the hiding and all that, get her view on it and discuss if you both think perhaps reducing the relationship to a friendship might be easier to maintain until she can get out of the environment she's in that she feels unsafe about sharing her relationship even with family. I understand some cultures view things less openly with higher consequences and I wouldn't wish that stuff on anyone.

However if you both feel strongly that you can make it through and fight and just get where you both need to be, then you need to work very hard to keep her and try not to sweat the small stuff just because tension gets a bit thick.

[LostInLove]

It's almost never a good idea to break up with someone else for their sake. That's her choice to make. And right now she's choosing to be with you. Like LMH said, you can talk to her about it and let her know your concerns, but let her make the decision in the end.

[Joyce:)]

Don't break up with her, i think that right now she really needs you and needs someone to talk to (when her sister is not around).
You will probably have to struggle a bit, and cope with the fact you can't talk whenever, but i think that if you broke up with her she'd feel even more alone, and she could not ever turn to her family for comfort..

[FadedSunrise]

As has already been said. No breaking up with her for her own good. Personally, I went down that route in the past, and it was painful like no other. I am the one who has to hide my relationship from family-he's already moved out for years now and can do what he wants. In the end, I cut my relationship up and I felt even more alone because I knew that I would get no comfort from family. Thankfully, I realized my mistake, and asked to get back together before he moved on with someone else.