So I was in an LDR for six months with a guy who lived around 5 hrs away from me. We broke up and I've been single for about 3 months now. I started playing this game on FB around the time we broke up and through this game I met a new guy. He's loving and sweet and I'm so comfortable with him it's almost scary. I really like this guy despite the fact that I live in Georgia and he lives in Colorado. Big difference from my last relationship. I don't mind him living so far away or the fact that he's a good 14 years older than I am, the thing that kind of bothers is the fact that he has 3 kids, the youngest of which he has full custody of. I love kids, but I don't know how to deal with a situation like this one considering that I neither have kids of my own or been with a guy that had kids before. So my question is has anyone been in this situation before and if so how did you deal with it?
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Kids bring a whole other element into the relationship. If you're the parent you have to be very very careful about how you pursue any relationship, LD or CD because it's not fair to the kids if you have different dates constantly in and out of their lives. I have a cousin who's single and she dates guys for short periods of time, then dumps them, but she brings them around her 6 year old who gets emotionally attached and then upset when 'uncle' so'nso isn't around anymore. If you're the one entering the relationship with someone who has a kid, you have to make sure you're prepared for that pre-made family. You're 19, most girls at your age are not ready to be moms. Heck I'm 21 and I couldn't handle being one if I ended up pregnant or my SO had a kid. If you plan for the relationship to be serious then eventually you'll have to meet the kids and interact with them, especially the one he has full custody of. It's not easy, but I've known people who take to their boyfriend's/girlfriend's kid(s) as though they were their own flesh and blood.
Basically what it amounts to is do you think you're able to handle that extra part of the relationship and continue handling it. These kids can't magically go away if you don't like them or they don't like you, they're part of the package. If you think you can do that, then go on ahead. But if you can't, there's no shame in backing out because you are not ready for that level of commitment.
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