The meaning of "Sure"

[Amber]

I've been thinking about this word today..."Sure". Does it mean "yes" or does it mean "I don't really care"...or "okay" or "not really"?

This is the word that my SO has been using all night and it has honestly been driving me crazy because I'm not positive if its the way that he uses it or if its the word itself that I'm so "unsure" about.

If I were to ask you a question and its a yes or no question...you answer "sure"...what are you really meaning? Yes or no?

Mostly I would have to ask him what he meant, yes or no and he would tell me that he meant to say yes, but just the way that he said it makes me feel like he doesn't really want to but feels like he has to. That once again he does not care overall what my big mouth is blabbing about sometimes (because I feel like I talk to a wall sometimes when I get really excited about things) because I talk about the most random stuff. But...why not say "yes" or "no".

No matter what we were talking about..."sure" was said. That doesn't make me feel very confident in my work that I'm showing him or very glad that we are having a conversation if he just says "sure". It shows not in depth listening skills. It for some reason tells me that he will just be there in body to listen, not in actual mind.

He apparently means "yes" but how do I know that every time? It can change right? The use of the word with how you say it, but if it sounds the same every time negatively, then how do I know which one it is? The way he tells me it is (yes) or the way it sounds (no)??

Let me know your thoughts- I know this is a little odd, but I'm curious on how it changes your relationship conversations if you notice that your SO says that a lot when you are excited about showing them a piece of your work or telling a great story or whatever it might be that you are sharing with your SO.

[FadedSunrise]

Eh, I ono. One great thing about my SO is that he's a very attentive listener. He may not know too much about my American life, interests in anime and video games, and such, but I blab on and on to him about my new manicure and the level I just beat on my video game and he'll actually ask me intelligent questions in response to my blab. Good boy, I feel so loved on x3

Having said that, I don't know how "sure" can stand in place for "yes" all the time. I see its possible for "sure" to be yes or no in response to a request, but what about if you say "My work placed number 1 in competition!"...."sure"(???). In that case if its to something like that then he probably is looking for the equivalent of "yea", or "um", or using it as a generic response to tell you he's listening. If its generic response to tell you he's listening and trying to understand, but its not something he really knows...then he's trying. I know I've done that, generically laugh or respond with "yea", "yea", when, say, my engineering dad wants to teach me about the wonders of steel structures. I try to respect him by being responsive, but I can't really get responsive. Its beyond me.

[LadyMarchHare]

Could be he doesn't know what else to say. Sometimes my SO can ramble on about an idea he gets and I'm left with nothing in my 'response bank' to give so I give short replies and then apologize for not having much else to add, especially if he's asking for any input. Could also be he's not really interested and when the opportunity arises he just throws the word in. Have you tried pointing it out to him? Could playfully say "is that all that's in your vocabulary?" or point out he's said 'sure' x amount of times in the past x minutes of the conversation. If he's honestly pressed for what else to say then he needs to figure out other ways to respond that sound less like a broken record.

[Insanity]

I would normally assume sure means yes though just depends on the context. Communication is so complicated, my guy and I every now and then completely misinterpret each other. Even in person, we had a rough day whilst I was over there recently (I hadn't been sleeping well and sleep is what keeps me sane) and he thought I was breaking up with him, which of course was not at all what I was saying.
Maybe just tell him that you don't know what he means when he says sure, and just explain to him what you have us.

[13000km]

When a guy gives a non committal response like that, it is VERY easy for us girls to overthink things. My boyfriend says sure a lot when he's agreeing to something I said but with a little bit of reluctance. What really bothers me is when he says "I don't care" when I ask for his opinions. /: Still haven't been able to control my getting pissed off when he says that.

[Micah]

It usually means yes. If someone asks me a question and I say sure, I mean yes.

Unless it is used in a sarcastic way, that is. I think that's easy to interpret by their tone of voice.

[Deleted Account]

it means yes. You remind me of my ex bf... he'd get so annoyed when i said sure because he felt that i wasnt completely happy with a firm yes.

But i dont look at sure like that...

[Rosebud]

It entirely depends on the context and other factors, including emotes which my guy and I use a lot in our conversations. I would more than likely assume a "sure" without an emote accompanying it was an unsteady answer and likely make me feel the same way you do-that it's iffy and not a 100% yes. However, a "sure" with an emote I don't think I'd think all too much about...although it's sort of like the word "maybe" which also drives me up the wall and I can see where your frustration comes from. Some of us just like solid answers, especially over reading simply text since there's no voice inflection to really signify how the word was meant (hence why emotes are so common for our coversations). If it's really bothering you I'd say tell him-it doesn't take that much effort to right "yes" instead of "sure" and if you tell him why it worries you I don't see why it'd be all that difficult for him to type something else instead.

[lucybelle]

I am a "sure" user and it used to drive my ex CRAZY!!! I didn't know why! When I say sure it's like saying "yeah that's fine with me." Nothing to be excited about-- "YES! ABSOLUTELY!", but not something I'm turning down-- "Nahhh, I don't think so". I would say it to things like "Want to go to the grocery store?" or "Do you like my shoes?" And honestly, I would also use it when I wasn't paying attention... hehe