Friend Time vs Love Time

[folclor]

Lately I have reconnected with a good friend of mine from high school who is fresh out of nursing school but she still lives in the same city that I'm in. For a long time we barely talked to each other but for the last three weeks we've been hanging out a LOT more and it's been fun. My boyfriend thinks it's great and he says he's just glad I'm getting to hang out with friends more. He tells me not to feel guilty and that I should just have as much fun as I possibly have with her since she really is my good friend.

However, since Alex's best friend's family moved into the house with him (it's a giant rental house and Alex doesn't want to live with his parents so he lives at his parents' rental house ^^; ) the only time we get to talk is during the day and RIGHT before bed because otherwise his best friend and the best friend's brother are constantly around where Alex has his computer (the downstairs area and Alex doesn't have enough room in his bedroom for a desk and a computer). So I'm feeling guilty because I have been hanging out with her during time that I'd usually talk to him. He says he doesn't mind and that we'll just make more time to talk later.

He says I should spend time with my friends because I shouldn't give up that part of my life just to spend time IMing on skype with him when we have our video date set every week. So I've felt a lot better about spending time with my friends.

Do any of y'all have situations like these?

[Insanity]

Hey folclor
Sounds like you have a good system set up. I always feel guilty when I have things planned when I'd normally talk to my guy, but I'm just like that. In the past we had a lot of time to talk to each other so missing a day wouldn't mean much. Now he works 6 days a week so that might change things. In the past I would generally avoid things that kept me out late so I won't miss getting to talk to him.

[DollOnAMusicBox]

I was just talking to my boyfriend about this last night. We both have a slight jealousy streak and can sometimes feel "jipped" when the other is spending too much time with others when we have such a restricted time to talk. Quite often, lately, he's been falling asleep on me because he works all day, then doesn't go to bed till I'm home from school and settled in, so we can talk.

Lately, the manic straek has been improving. We make sure to leave a text and/or email/message online before we go to bed or start our day, or if we're home in between. This helps TONS. Even though he's not on the other side to respond to my message, I tell him I love him and that I'm thinking of him and hoping that he's having a good day and all those things. If we didn't see eachother, its a slightly longer message about our days and little things that we won't remember the next time we get a couple hours to talk.

[snow_girl]

When my boyfriend was here staying with me for three months I would feel incredibly guilty for going out with friends while he stayed home cause he didn't know anyone. I would offer for him to come along but he said i needed my girl time. I am going to be going over to stay with him and I would hope he wouldn't stop seeing his friends on my account, so I guess when the roles are reversed I don't mind at all him going out.
We should feel lucky that we have such awesome boyfriends that encourage us rather then get jealous and dislike the fact that we are able to maintain a life outside of the relationship.

[NaNi]

Well, my SO and I have very limited talking time (once a week now), so I do think it's important that we both make time for that.

When we're together we also make sure that the other can come along to wherever we are going. Since we can only spend some weeks together out of a whole year.

[folclor]

Hey folclor
Sounds like you have a good system set up. I always feel guilty when I have things planned when I'd normally talk to my guy, but I'm just like that. In the past we had a lot of time to talk to each other so missing a day wouldn't mean much. Now he works 6 days a week so that might change things. In the past I would generally avoid things that kept me out late so I won't miss getting to talk to him.

; ^ ; *huggles* I hope things get better for y'all, btw. I'm sure it's really hard right now but I'm sure things will look up, yeah? and, yeah, that's exactly what I would do ^^;

I was just talking to my boyfriend about this last night. We both have a slight jealousy streak and can sometimes feel "jipped" when the other is spending too much time with others when we have such a restricted time to talk. Quite often, lately, he's been falling asleep on me because he works all day, then doesn't go to bed till I'm home from school and settled in, so we can talk.

Lately, the manic straek has been improving. We make sure to leave a text and/or email/message online before we go to bed or start our day, or if we're home in between. This helps TONS. Even though he's not on the other side to respond to my message, I tell him I love him and that I'm thinking of him and hoping that he's having a good day and all those things. If we didn't see eachother, its a slightly longer message about our days and little things that we won't remember the next time we get a couple hours to talk.

yeah, ^^; my boyfriend and I both have a jealous streak but it doesn't come out very often. but since I'm almost always at home I think it doesn't bother him as much.

[Insanity]

; ^ ; *huggles* I hope things get better for y'all, btw. I'm sure it's really hard right now but I'm sure things will look up, yeah? and, yeah, that's exactly what I would do ^^;

*Hugs* thanks I hope they do, I'm trying to say positive. Has been nice to see you, you helped me a lot back in the chat room days

[Jonesonaboat]

My man always encourages me to do as much as I can with my friends, much like your situation.

My main issue is that whenever I know I have a day to Skype with my man, other things always come up on that day. Like yesterday I knew I could skype with him all evening, but my nephew wanted me to go watch him play in his football game. Today we have the whole day to skype, but I've arranged to go out for a lunch and some afternoon drinks with a very old friend I haven't seen/spoken to in years, and then I'll have to make up for the lunch by hitting the gym.

The way we've both looked at it is we'll be closing the distance in about a month and a half. Then I'll have only him, I'll be leaving this place, my friends, my family and it will just be me and him until I start to settle in other there and make new friends.

He wants me to make the most of the time I've got with all these people now, and just let my hair down. It's really good to let off steam with other people instead of being stuck infront of a screen skyping, as much as I enjoy it =) We both think it's really, really healthy to do that.

Your man seems to have it figured out too, be glad he doesn't want it the other way around and is trying to stop you going out !! I don't know if the part about moving away will apply to you or not, but you know, it's very healthy to be around other people and let your hair down every once in a while. It will give you guys things to talk about when you do skype then!