Don't wish to sound whiny, but can I get some advice?

[thisisme]

So, my boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year now, but have not seen each other for about 8 months. The reason being is the price of gas. However to help this problem, last weekend I drove about half way to him and he was supposed to drive another half of the way. He couldn't because his grandmother was in the hospital, however she recovered fine and was okay by the next day. Despite this, he never called, texted, emailed or bothered to show up. Now I haven't talk to him since the day before, and I'm really hurt. I told him that in an email but I'm worried. Do you think I'm being selfish? Also his phone isn't working lately and I'm not sure how we can communicate efficiently til it is fixed. I apologize for sounding too needy but I would just like to know. If someone could please give me advice, it'd be great. Thanks a lot.
-Michelle

[snow_girl]

I hate the excuse that 'my phone isn't working" look around and there are 20 other phones that you can use, it's not an excuse!

[LadyMarchHare]

I hate the excuse that 'my phone isn't working" look around and there are 20 other phones that you can use, it's not an excuse!

Situational thing. If my phone stopped working I'd be screwed because my mom's phone doesn't support texting, I don't have a house phone, and I don't have his number memorized in the first place so really using another phone even if long distance calling/texting was included is impossible for me. Yeah it's probably the most used excuse in the world along with anything else that can break that's important but sometimes it's valid.

If he's close to his grandmother, despite her recovery he may be around to make sure she's alright or he could be caught up in other family business caused by this. Yes it's not fair that he didn't contact you to tell you he couldn't make it but there could be a reason behind it. You don't know until he contacts you. Is it selfish to be upset? No, you have every right to be since this was supposedly a sure thing and you haven't heard from him for a full reason as to why this promise was broken. Plus with gas prices these days I'd be miffed I spent that much for nothing. Best you can do is try getting in touch with him (I know you said you sent an email) and get him to explain why he didn't show and couldn't contact you in any form so that you wouldn't make the trip for nothing.

[jenny_ell]

I don't know how to put this nicely, but it sounds kind of shady. I've gotten plenty of "phone didn't have service" "i got called into work" "i forgot i had other plans" and lots of other awful excuses for not contacting me from guys in the past. I would think, "maybe i'm over thinking it".... but looking back they were just really lousy excuses for guys trying to get rid of me. I'm sure every girl who has gotten the phone excuse has thought, "maybe his phone really did die! maybe he really didn't have service! maybe he sent me a text and it didn't go through." ......


It seems that driving far to meet someone is kind of an important thing for him to not contact you in some way to tell you whats going on. Where theres a will, theres a way......there are pay phones friends phones, phone cards, emails, libraries with computers, ect. If his grandmother was sick you would think he would want to keep you informed and even come to you for comfort in the situation.

If you haven't seen him in 8 months, you drove to meet him and he didn't show up(this is what I am getting from the story?). I hate to be negative but it doesn't sound good.

[13000km]

Situational thing. If my phone stopped working I'd be screwed because my mom's phone doesn't support texting, I don't have a house phone, and I don't have his number memorized in the first place so really using another phone even if long distance calling/texting was included is impossible for me. Yeah it's probably the most used excuse in the world along with anything else that can break that's important but sometimes it's valid.

We're international so we text through twitter. If my blackberry died or forgot to bring it with me, I'd have no way of letting him know until I got to a computer. He uses the text twitter, so borrowing someone else's phone wouldn't help when he forgot to bring his phone out with him.

I would be upset too, but more at the situation than at him. What other means of communication do you guys use aside from the phone?

[Brandie]

You have every reason to be upset. He hasn't called, or tried getting in contact with him, and you guys haven't seen each other in 8 months, this visit obviously was really important to you. It should've been really important to him as well, and for him not to reply to you, I'm sorry but he's not being very considerate about your feelings. I would leave him some kind of email saying how you feel, and have him try getting a hold of you. You definitely aren't being selfish!

[PucasKitten]

I agree with Jenny_ell I mean hospitals are full of payphones.... or any phone really.

[Tanja]

I can understand that he couldn't make the trip for family reasons BUT I think it's unbelievably wrong of him not to let you know he couldn't make the trip. 8 months apart and you drove all that way to be stood up. You should mean more to him.

Even though he had a valid reason not to meet you there's no excuse for leaving you clueless and without any contact.

[LadyMarchHare]

You have every reason to be upset. He hasn't called, or tried getting in contact with him, and you guys haven't seen each other in 8 months, this visit obviously was really important to you. It should've been really important to him as well, and for him not to reply to you, I'm sorry but he's not being very considerate about your feelings. I would leave him some kind of email saying how you feel, and have him try getting a hold of you. You definitely aren't being selfish!

In the interest of playing devil's advocate and not jumping on the assumption train towards negative-ville, for all any of us know he has tried to get in contact with her, merely that it has not been successful, or as I stated before he could be caught up in a myriad of other things that leave him too pre-occupied to think straight enough and say something to her. Yes it's still extremely rude and thoughtless, but depending on the actual situation it may or may not be something that can be excused or at least seen as a valid excuse.