Telling my parents about him...

[LoveSlushi]

My SO and I have planned a trip in December...We haven't been dating that long, so I'm not sure if I should wait to tell my parents about him...My parents are pretty strict, and I'm not sure if they would understand...They might not be so accepting, and be like, "How do you love him if you never met him?" "What if he's not who he says he is?" I really would love advice for how to tell them about him....I don't know how long to wait, or what to do or say....

[snow_girl]

Maybe just start bringing him up in conversations. If you are talking with your parents about a certain subject that you and your SO have also talked about just start name dropping. "oh, me and ___ were talking about that and he said ____" When they ask who that is say he is someone you've been talking to online. Get them used to his name then maybe a couple months down say that it would be cool to meet him and ask what they would think about him coming to visit. If they are strict I'm sure they would like to be there when you meet, but I think that would be okay.

[LadyMarchHare]

Only you really know your parents well enough to guess what exact tactic to use, though most people will tell you if you're afraid they won't be accepting to say he's just a friend or a friend from school that moved away and is visiting, basically lying to save yourself a headache. If you're living with them and have to be around them a great deal you might do better breaking the ice slowly rather than being straightforward. If you're not living with them and have the novelty of hanging up on them, well it's your choice.

In the end they're going to think what they want no matter how you tell them and only through time or proving to them this isn't some cross-country/international booty call will they either ease up or change their minds. They might not, you never know. If you feel serious about the relationship, then my opinion is they deserve to be told. If you're still early in the relationship and not so sure it's going to be that "together forever" sort of thing, you could afford waiting. Though if your SO is coming to see you or is going to be where contact with your parents might happen, I would tell them before said trip because I can guarantee that moment of "oh this is my boyfriend" upon seeing him would catch you the business end of a rant.

Me personally I told my mom after a week, I pulled out a picture, said "This is my boyfriend" and I think things would've been fine if there wasn't the added issue of race. Because really that's all she yelled at me for, the fact I was dating a black guy. And my mom's almost 63 so the fact she's fairly chill with the whole "I met him online" thing is good for me. The other stuff not so much, but what can you do?

[kiara_silver]

My parents are kind of strict. And they in no way believe this is the way to find love. But i find that if you have the relationship open they are understanding. I told my mom first, i told her that i met someone and i really like him and i wanted to continue seeing him. ( i didn't go in depth on how much, i think its best to make it seem like your taking it slow and not so serious) I told her i wanted a relationship with him but i wanted her to know about it. That way she didn't feel out of the loop. Told her she could talk with him too and that i wanted everything out in the open. She appreciated this and agreed.This was when we had only been together 6 months. And she has been semi sportive since then. And it will be 2 years in may. I think having her know has helped some. Dad was a bit trickier, i had waited till i was 18 to tell him. but i think its good to let it out and let them know, because in the end its your life. Just reassure them your being safe, your not keeping secrets and that this isn't just a game.

[steph_bballgirl]

i agree with everyone, just start to casually bring it up. revealing a little more each time. then it can get to the point where you can say you like him and have feelings for him. parents can be tough to deal with, but my mom loves that im in a distance relationship, she thinks its cute and sweet and she says she doesnt have to worry as much about me getting pregnant or something.
who knows, your parents may surprise you and be accepting of it like mine did. and they ended up loving my SO. (:
youll never know until you try!

[Silencedsongs]

Maybe just start bringing him up in conversations. If you are talking with your parents about a certain subject that you and your SO have also talked about just start name dropping. "oh, me and ___ were talking about that and he said ____" When they ask who that is say he is someone you've been talking to online. Get them used to his name then maybe a couple months down say that it would be cool to meet him and ask what they would think about him coming to visit. If they are strict I'm sure they would like to be there when you meet, but I think that would be okay.

That is kind of what I did.

It comes down to how believe your parents will react. While my SO would prefer I was completely honest with them, but it's better to introduce them to things a little at a time. The get more use to an idea, and won't freak out as much. I typically spring things on them last minute, so they have absolutely no say in anything.

He's coming to visit in May, and as far as they know he's just a friend and might very well be looking for a job in the FBI here. I've mentioned him in the past as the guy who designed my tattoo, so it's not that they never heard of him. But they know he's coming to visit, and part of that visit has to do with me (well, really all of it). But by telling them in advance it's given them a chance to become comfortable with the idea and of course they want to meet him... I figure I'll tell them the real extent of our relationship AFTER they've had a chance to meet him.

You know your parents and whatever situation you may be in, do what is best for you.

[13000km]

I did the easing them into it thing. They didn't think much of it, until 6 or 7 months later when I said I was thinking of going there. They were both worried, but chose to handle it differently. My dad talked to me about it constantly, getting me to update him on what the plans are, when I booked tickets, living arrangements and all that. My mum, on the other hand, chose to ignore me everytime we mentioned his name, or my trip there.

Now, everyone accepts my boyfriend, but as friendly as my mum is to him, I'm not sure where she stands...

All parents should be handled differently. You can take all this advice given to you and pick out the parts you think would work on your parents and use those. Good luck!

[lucybelle]

I agree with the name dropping thing. Start just bringing him up in conversations, "yeah my friends so-and-so lives there and does this" After maybe a month or so of that, you could tell them that you two are a little more interested in each other than just friends.

[LoveSlushi]

Thank you! I shall follow the name drop! Mwahaahaahaa! I've already begun this process...^^ The funny thing is, I never would have thought of name dropping him to my parents otherwise...It seems like such an obvious thing...>_< And it's working too! She is slowly knowing about him...Thank you all so very much!