Anyone in college LDRs? Advice Please!

[emliz2018]

Hey everyone!
My SO and I are currently finishing up our freshmen year of college (myself in Michigan and him in Mississippi). We have been together for a year and 3 months and will be together again in two weeks. Everything has gone fairly well, so far, considering the situation. Lately though, I've been feeling more stressed about the situation. I feel like we are both missing out on having a normal college relationship. Does anyone else in this situation feel the same way? I'm not really sure what to do right now and could really use some advice. Thanks!

[snow_girl]

When I think of normal college relationships I think of people sleeping around with lots of people. Perhaps I am wrong but being in a relationship close to home doesn't mean that it would have a better chance of lasting over a long distance one. If you are happy with your current SO then stick with him. Its always greener on the other side. You are intrigued by the college dating scene you always want what you don't have. Say you broke up because you were wanting a 'normal college relationship" are you going to be happy you broke up with your SO for something that could be subpar?

[Stubborn Hope]

I've been struggling with this issue for a lot in the past year, especially since I will be turning 21 this summer. I don't want to sleep around with a bunch of different people, I don't want to go out to the bars or the clubs every weekend... But I do want to experience some of those college activities around "going out" with my SO.

But when I look around, I haven't found a single other man that I'm remotely interested in dating, even casually.

I also cope with this by making it clear to my SO that we're "serious". I am missing out one some of the college experience because of our LDR. It's worth, but that doesn't mean it's not hard. But the reason it is worth it, to me, is because we will live together someday. Not just someday in the future, but actually beginning to make plans to make that happen in two or three years. It's only recently that we've begun to argue about this... Nevertheless, it is important to me, at least, that we make this dream of being together into a real plan for my sanity's sake.

You guys have been together long enough that I think you could start talking about a future. I'm not talking about getting engaged right away or getting too serious exactly, but it's important to realize that casual LDRs are incredibly hard to stick with. Just start thinking about where you want to go after college, and how you can go there together. You're only a year into college, though, so of course plans will change and specifics won't present themselves for another year or two.

Just start giving it some thought: Do you want to be together long term? Where do you want to go in your life? It's important that neither one of you sacrifices your dreams just to be with each other.

[nicole]

Me and my SO are LD because I am still in college- he graduated 2 years ago. He was the one who had this idea of me "missing out" on my college experience. I am of the same opinion as snow_girl.

I am really happy with my SO, why would I throw my happiness away so I can experience something else I'm not that bothered about anyway. I've grown out of the college scene anyway. Experiencing the drinking and sleeping with different people etc? meh I can quite happily live with missing out on that. I see it as I got lucky early on, I'm not going to waste my once in a lifetime opportunity to have a life with my soulmate in order to experience what everyone else is experiencing.

If you are happy with your relationship, stay with him, but if the college experience is really what you want, and you don't see the relationship being long term, perhaps it's time to cut ties.

[loveknowsnodistance27]

My boyfriend and I are both in college, actually finishing up our first year as well. He's 360 miles away in Rochester, and I'm living at home on Long Island. We both have been best friends for 12 years, and in a relationship for almost 8 months. We agreed long distance would be the best option for us, seeing as we had just become a couple 14 days before he left for school. We've both wanted to be with each other for the longest time! I know I'm perfectly happy with everything, but I mean, long distance isn't easy. I can't see myself dating anyone else but Anthony, though. As for "normal" college relationships, I believe there is no real normal. As with every other relationship, each one is different. There are so many college students in LDR's, probably more than you even realize. It's very common, and as with any relationship, some work out, some don't. You seem like you're pretty happy with him, so I'd say for now, stick with it! =] You'll be together again very soon....2 weeks will go by so quickly! ^-^ Just stay strong, you can do it!

[iloveacarpenter]

I understand how you feel, and agree with the above posters. They gave some great questions to ask about yourself and your relationship. Another suggestion I would give is to find others that are also in long-distance relationships around campus. They have helped me a lot because they understand what you are going through and are physically there going through the same thing.

[Joyce:)]

When I think of normal college relationships I think of people sleeping around with lots of people. Perhaps I am wrong but being in a relationship close to home doesn't mean that it would have a better chance of lasting over a long distance one. If you are happy with your current SO then stick with him. Its always greener on the other side. You are intrigued by the college dating scene you always want what you don't have. Say you broke up because you were wanting a 'normal college relationship" are you going to be happy you broke up with your SO for something that could be subpar?

^
this.
i'm in italy, still in high school, while my boyfriend is finishing up his freshman year. i feel sorry for him, knowing that when he goes to his frat parties he sees people playing suck face, and other stuff, and at times i feel like i'm holding him back..but then i realize that people act that way in college when they don't have THAT special person to love.
my boyfriend said he wouldn't trade me for the world, and that sure, he's not living the normal experience, but that he doesn't need that to be happy

[LostInLove]

I'm in university, and have had a CDR that ended a few years back and now have my LDR. And honestly speaking, from my experience I don't think you're missing out on much. A college relationship is still just a relationship. And I'm much happier now than I was in my CDR, because I'm with someone that makes me happy. So I wouldn't break up with your SO just to get the college experience, it's not a good reason to end a great relationship.

Also, I guarantee that you won't have to look far to find someone in the same situation as you. Lots of high-school couples end up going long distance because they end up going to different schools. If you keep your eyes and ears open and talk to lots of people, I bet you could even make a new friend who's in an LDR as well and you guys can support each other.