Hi Everyone I need your help and some advice.

[Lostintime]

Hi Everyone,

It has been a little over a year since I met my SO. We have had out ups and downs, but in the end we love each other dearly. I have met her family and they love me just the same. In fact I became extremely close to her Mum and Dad.

Now her Dad is dying. He has had some extreme complications do to a various number of things, and he might not make it. I am at a loss what to do. I just found out today, and I don't have the money yet to go see her, I am pretty broke at the present time.

What do I do....

Please give me some suggestions, the best way to handle an SO's possible death of one of their parents.

Thanks.....

Clint

[Joyce:)]

Well, as much as you try, nothing really can help when you lose someone close.

Even if you did have the money, you might find yourself not knowing anyway what to do, being around so much greif.
The best you can do is just be there for your SO even just emotionally, like you already are, listening to her vent, reminding her that you care, and letting her talk about anything, whether it's about her father or any insignificant thing that keeps her mind occupied.

You basically need to help her adjust to the change there would be in her life if her father doesn't make it. Grief after all is the consequence of the realization that you're missing someone, that without them your life won't be the same, so you just remind her that you are there to guide her through things and to comfort her.

I really hope he'll make it, and i'm so sorry for what your SO's family is going through and for what you're going through too.

You can obviously count on this site for any support.

Joyce

[LadyMarchHare]

Depending on how she is and what happens, she may not want you physically there anyway. Some people when they grieve or go through stressful situations like this will shy away from others, especially loved ones if they feel any embarrassment for the way they look from crying. Plus it's a family thing, even if you are close to them, you're not technically family.

Let her be aware you are there for her whenever she needs you whether it's just for her to vent out her frustrations and grief or needs to hear some words of love and encouragement to get her through when she feels lost. If you two talk by phone at all, let her know your phone's always on for her to call at any time with news or just because (if you work you could see if you could explain to your boss or superior the situation so you can take calls, if not then you can always call her back) and just generally support her emotionally. I'm sorry she's going through this, it's a terrible thing to watch someone you love waste away before your eyes.

[blankita719]

My SO lost his mother a few months ago, and I was unable to take off and be there with him due to work and my son. Even if you aren't able to be there physically, one of the best things you can do is to make sure they know you are there for them emotionally and however they need you to be. My SO actually cut himself off for a few days, which was very rough to try and deal with, but it was what he needed in order to deal with the grief. Feel free to message me anytime if you need an ear to listen, as I know how hard it is on those of us who are trying to help them deal (I also wrote a thread about this when it first happened, and there was tons of great advice in that - if you want me to send you the link, I'm happy to do so).