My boyfriends self esteem issues are tearing us apart.

[Emma-Louise]

He barely believes I love him anymore.

He keeps telling me to go away.. I'm just.. Someone. Advice. Please.

[Miramaid]

please more details. What happened, how long you have been together etc.

[NaNi]

Yeah, I was about to ask the same thing. What happened that he suddenly thinks that way?

[Emma-Louise]

He's just been really upset lately, and he's been depressed before, and now things have just deterrierated, and we've both been really upset. yesterday we went out with all my friends for dinner, and one of them commented on his looks, and although I know she meant it in a good way, he took it bad, because he's been bullied and it's just horrible. I tried to make things better, but it's just all falling apart..

We've been together for a year and 4 months. I do love him. I love him so much. I just wish he could see his value.

[princessmia]

Prove it to him. Sit him down. Be very close to his face and tell him how much you love him, how you're attracted to him, what you love about him, use describing words. Say he's amazing and perfect. Touch him. Look into his eyes the entire time. Pour your heart out onto him. That is what I call and ego boost
Good luck!

[nic&matt]

Keep with him. Don't ever let him push you away. Always tell him how valuable he is, how much you love him, how much he means to you and even though it doesn't seem like it goes through his head, it does. Whenever my boyfriend says stuff like that I say, "Do you trust me?" to which he answers, "Of course I do". I proceed to say lovingly, "Don't you think I love you? Do you think I would lie about something so silly?" and that usually shuts him up for a while.
I'm sorry. Best of luck

[LostInLove]

Don't just tell him you love him. Tell him why you love him. I'm very much like your boyfriend and I struggle to believe that my SO really does love me sometimes because he's never really told me why. People say things they don't mean, or people think they love you when really they love something that you put on to look good in front of them, and all kinds of stuff like that. So make sure you're telling him honest reasons for why you love him.

[jherelinh]

Give him time to think and calm down, like 1 or 2 days, don't add more stress on him because he might be very confused and not in his right mind right now. I've been into a similar situation before, my bf wanted to leave our relationship because he was too stressful (work, money, being by himself, our arguments...). It was so sudden that I couldn't accept and kept calling and calling him, crying and crying, kept asking him why, and nothing changed. To be honest now I see it was so stupid to do all those crazy things
So by the time I felt like hopeless, I lost him already and told myself not to bother him any more, he started to call me back, realised how much he miss me. We talked deeply about our situation, all the problems and figured out a new way to keep everything up
So even if you're worried about him like crazy now, just be patient and give him time, and always be there for him. Best luck for you.

[cartoonartist]

I think everyone here has given good advice really, sometimes people are stubborn and if they don't want to say anything, don't force it they'll get mad and you'll be in a even bigger mess. Just talk to him slowly, telling him you love him, why you love him and that you're always here if he wants to talk, and if he does, he'll do it.

[vpavelock]

We've been together for a year and 4 months. I do love him. I love him so much. I just wish he could see his value.

I was in a very similar predicament at just about that time in our relationship too.
As much as people can say a person needs to love themselves first before they can love you, some people have been very damaged from bullying and the like, and having someone to HELP them love themselves is a good thing. Your SO may find himself thinking he's not worth having you and the whole journey may be difficult, possibly too much to handle. You have to realize it is a process, a long, difficult process for him to start loving himself. You may want to convince him to see someone, talk about what he's feeling with you, and just remind him how great he is. It takes A LOT of patience and a lot of time spent as the body bag, but chances are he loves you and he wants to help change for you and himself.

[LadyMarchHare]

I was in a very similar predicament at just about that time in our relationship too.
As much as people can say a person needs to love themselves first before they can love you, some people have been very damaged from bullying and the like, and having someone to HELP them love themselves is a good thing. Your SO may find himself thinking he's not worth having you and the whole journey may be difficult, possibly too much to handle. You have to realize it is a process, a long, difficult process for him to start loving himself. You may want to convince him to see someone, talk about what he's feeling with you, and just remind him how great he is. It takes A LOT of patience and a lot of time spent as the body bag, but chances are he loves you and he wants to help change for you and himself.

I agree tenfold. I had the very same issues, but only early on in the relationship. I had awful self esteem and every time he complimented me about anything I flat out called him a liar. But, he worked with me and challenged me begin realizing my own self-worth as well as my beauty, in and out. I think I finally quit contesting compliments somewhere in October of last year, so it was a long process. Sometimes it does take an outside force for us to realize something we should have known or maybe did know all along, and then it's a matter of patience, encouragement, and letting them take the steps. Like teaching someone to ride a bike. At first you're holding on to the bike as they ride, then slowly as they get the hang of it you loosen your grip, let go with one hand, then the other, and let them peddle on their own and enjoy it. Self esteem is a booger to get a handle on, it takes an almost bull-like stubborn-ness for you to even keep holding on to try and change it, much less succeed. Sometimes it does help if someone's scrambling to hold on alongside you.