I doubt anyone else is like me :-(

[sagittariusgirl89]

Ok, so this is the first time I open myself up to anyone. So please NO CRITICISM! or RUDE REMARKS!

Wow, this is even hard to type. Uhm, i've been in a ldr for 6 months, and I normally go 2 weeks with out seeing my SO. Well, when he isnt here I never go outside. I stay in the house. He left on Wednesday morning, and I havent been outside since then. I know it isn't healthy, but I'm in such a rut. I stay in his PJ pants all day. & I wear my PJ shirt all day. It is nice out so if I did go outside I'd have to change my outfit, and I dont want to.

Plus, since it is sunny and warm out, if I go outside with out my SO around or if he isn't coming that day, I'm worried I will miss him and get lonely.

I never had a job before, and I am terrified of the thought of working. I am 20 years old. Well I worked at Target for a day when I was 18. I contacted a Vet office today and they said if I'm interested to come in Monday and fill out an application. Well my SO will be in town and he said he will take me in the morning so I can fill out an application. I know itd be good in the long run if I got a job. I would be busier, and I wouldnt be int he house all the time.

I don't have my license yet either. And my SO is doing the driving to see me. I know I need to get my license. My SO said he will take me to the BMV on Monday to get my temps and he'll even pay for them. I know that is very nice of him. I want to get my temps but when the time comes to go I back out. The process just seems so long and tedious.

I was prescribed the generic form of Cymbalta. My doctor said it would help with my anxiety, but I only took it for 2-3 days because it caused my stomach to hurt and I got reallllly sleepy.

Please dont criticize me or get rude.

[seshei]

You're not the only person with anxiety issues, so you're not the only one even if it feels that way. Though people may not express that anxiety in the same way you do, there are lots of people struggling with it. The good thing is, you've talked to your doctor about it. The Cymbalta may upset your stomach and make you sleepy, but try taking it for 2-3 weeks. It's hard to do when it makes you feel tired, or nauseous, but those side effects generally go away in a week or two. Try taking it with food if you haven't, or on an empty stomach if you have. But, take it for a couple weeks even if it sucks for a bit. And, if the side effects really are too much, and don't go away in a couple weeks, then talk to your doctor again and see if there's something else you could take instead. I'm sure there are other options.

Try to get out, even if its just to walk down the street for a cup of coffee and then back home. The fresh air, the sunshine and a walk will help. You might miss your SO, but you could be happy to be outside in the nice weather, too. Hang out with some friends if you're worried about being lonely. It's good to do something for yourself. Being on hold in between visits isn't healthy, and you'll be a happier person when you don't feel like you are on hold until the next visit.

[sagittariusgirl89]

I guess I need to make myself go outside. Its sooooo hard.

[folclor]

Good luck with getting a job. ^^ Really, if you can do it that's awesome. I understand that things can be hard but you can make progress and become stronger. ^^ I'm glad your boyfriend seems to be standing by you. Just do your best and you'll get better slowly.

[jasmin]

It can be hard, but not impossible. It definitely is not healthy to just stay home and not do anything for yourself. Just try to find things that you can do that will keep you busy and that you will have a good time doing.

I, myself, have had anxieties about going out, and personally trying to make new friends and have a life outside of my SO, and I'm still learning and trying. But Like with anything else, it will take time for you to get used to and take comfort in doing new things. You just have to take that step forward. You're not alone

[sagittariusgirl89]

I'm more of a loner, so like idk what to do if i go outside. I always think of my SO.

[jasmin]

You can go to a coffee shop and read a book or to a park and walk around, enjoy the scenery. Find free events you can go to that may interest you. Or you can just go out for a walk. Staying home all day will just make dealing with the distance harder.

[ErinKristine]

I have anxiety issues too and have a hard time going out when my SO isn't around, he's not home frequently so I kind of force myself to go out. I work a couple jobs and am in grad school so those force me out of the house, but on days when I have a lot of down are when it's harder, that's when I go for a walk, go to the gym, etc. I've been on medication once (for a few months) and didn't like how it made me feel so I opted to just see a counselor about it and that has really helped. I'm the type that has sever anxiety attacks and have been given breathing and thought exercises to overcome that. It can be hard to take that first step, but I encourage you to seek counseling even in addition to the medication. Don't worry about not having your license, I know people who are older than 20 and do not have it. I don't drive very often because driving is another source of anxiety for me because I've been the passenger in several car accidents.
If you ever want to talk to someone about it more please feel free to pm me : )
Here's to things looking up!

[Bluestars]

I think it really takes courage acknowledging a problem like this, and admitting that you have a problem is the first step to getting better As you know, I have anxiety as well, and although it is not that extreme, I can understand how hard it is for you to change. First, I would suggest seeing a therapist if you already are not, as I they help you work with the medicine so that you can get better (mine really helps!). That would also be one more reason to go outside

Also, I really like Seshei's suggestion. Just going outside for a walk can work wonders! Being in the sunlight will automatically make you feel better and help lessen depression I can also be somewhat of a loner, and at home I do not have any friends at all to hang out with. However, I still make myself go get coffee sometimes. You can read a book there or surf the net, and regardless, it will be relaxing You could help get groceries or run errands with your parents if you live with them. If you want to go see a movie but do not have any friends to go with, then just go yourself. I was scared to at first, but after a few times, it isn't bad. You could work out at the gym.

Maybe you could volunteer? I have always wanted to do that, but I can never make myself find somewhere to do it at. If you like animals, you could volunteer at the animal shelter. Or you could volunteer at a food bank, nursing home etc.

Good luck and just keep on trying! Hope you get the job!

[Veiled_Dreamer]

Definitely keep trying, like everyone's said. I don't think saying something like this warrants criticism. This isn't you being a whiney needy girlfriend. This is you being a real, wonderful person who is acknowledging the problem and trying to work through it. Saying it here to all of us was a good step.

It sounds like your SO knows about your anxiety, but if he doesn't, explain to him about it. Telling someone you really care about about a problem like this can help tons. My SO knows about my anxiety and panic attacks. He helps me work through them- he's really helped me a lot, actually, with all the support and confidence in me he gives. Sure, he's said that it kind of gets to him how paranoid and negative I can be. Who wouldn't? I think you mentioned once that your "negativity" bothered your SO. My lover mentioned that once to me, and I thought it was just me annoying him. It got to me and almost made it worse. But I think it's actually the fact that he can't do anything to relieve me of this anxiety that's the issue. So don't let this get between you guys, I guess, is what I'm saying with this ramble. You're strong enough to work through it.

Get out of the house. Go places. It doesn't matter if there's anyone with you... maybe think of it as a little adventure? Just be as proactive as you can in helping yourself with this. =] Everyone will be proud of you for even trying.

[Rach321]

I really believe there are more people out there in your situation than you think.

One thing I've noticed from your posts is that you are very dependent on your boyfriend. It is wonderful that you have him in your life and that he is supportive of you. And I can empathsize with how much anxiety can affect your life. But I do hope you'll find ways to become a bit more independent. It doesn't take much- Try taking small steps toward spending time out in public by yourself, even if it's just a walk around your neighborhood. Try a visit to his house to spend time with his family/friends because he'll be there when he's not a work to help calm you and encourage you to feel more comfortable. I know medication can make you feel funny or have uncomfortable side effects, but it's not a bad idea to try to take it for a couple of weeks to see if it helps. I hate to see that you struggle so much.

[So_Far_Away]

I find that music helps with my anxiety. If I ever go to crowded places (little bit claustrophobic) I always need to have my iPod with me. How about trying that? Just go for a walk in the park, and you don't need to pay attention to other pepole, just concentrate on the music

[kraut]

Your feelings of anxiety about feeling loneliness and missing your SO are totally normal. They just seem to be exaggerated. Unfortunately it is likely a vicious cycle. In other words you are anxious to leave the house because you miss him but not going outside only makes your feels worse. I know it is hard, but you have to get yourself out! Try to do something you think you would enjoy or something that would allow to blow off some steam in the process. For some people that means doing something active. Also in your first outing don't make expectations of being out for a long time. Do something outside for a half and hour, then reward yourself! If social situations make you nervous don't try to 'kill two birds with one stone,' your first time outside do something by yourself. Deal with the social anxiety later. As you get more comfortable outside your home then go on to tackle social anxiety. If being social is not an issue maybe you need to do something social. Give yourself a way to be accountable for what you are doing.

As far as a job is concerned, do you have any talents that may allow you to have a job from your home? Are you good with computers/computer repair? At least at first that could be a good source of income until you get more comfortable going outside. But when getting internet based employment, be careful!!! As if you have any writing skills you could try www.examiner.com. I work for them. It is not much pay but if you have the motivation and time to do it you could be very profitable!

[sagittariusgirl89]

I have a library near my house, I am going to make myself walk there. My friend Kathryn and I might hang out Tuesday.

Tomorrow, I am going to the Vet Clinic in the morning to fill out an Application, then after that I am going to try and get my temps...I'm soooo nervous.

[Taija]

You're certainly not the only one and believe me, it could be much worse. You mentioned your friend Kathryn, so at least you're not completely isolated from people!

I have both social anxiety and depression, for which I take meds and go to therapy. I haven't been to school for a year (and even when I did, I haven't been able to attend it daily since I was 12) and I have no job or any other activities. I would honestly be okay with just that, but the worst part is that I have no friends - the only person close to me is my fiance Jesse, and he just has to live on a different continent.

I really hope you'll get the job; having something to do every day would certainly help.