I know I don't post much, but since the last thread I started was fairly hopeless, I figured I'd start another that's a bit more upbeat.
After getting some advice, and hoping I had taken it all to heart, I was fairly happy for a few days both with and without my SO. But, as it usually did, my mood dipped into a terrible rut. I'm not proud to admit it, but nothing had gotten through to me. A little under 2 weeks after I started that thread, my SO had about enough of the depressed version of me. He said, flat out, "I guess after the initial excitement of meeting me and getting to know me has worn off, my company isn't enough to make you happy any more." He told me about a time when he was in a relationship with a woman who was very much like me, using any excuse to be sad, depressed, and miserable. And he told me straight up, that he left her because he wasn't doing her any good. He explained to me that, if I can't be happy with him, then he's apparently not what I want or need, or there was something so wrong with me that he was only distracting me from the problem and not allowing me to confront and fix it so I can move on with my life. I cried my eyes out for the better part of a half hour while he typed this, fearing that I had ruined everything because I was too stubborn to take people's advice to heart. He was telling me that he would end our relationship if I had continued the way I was, but wasn't actually ending it then and there. (Ok, I'll admit that wasn't exactly upbeat, but it gets better! I promise!)
I eventually calmed down enough to type, realizing that I had caused this problem, and it would have to be me who fixed it. We talked, I stopped crying, and things seemed better. Its been over a week since that incident, and I'm still keeping myself happy when my SO isn't around. This is the longest its been since the first few months of our relationship. I told a confidant of mine once that it would probably take an extreme situation where I lose someone or something to knock my head back into shape. I just wished it wasn't him. But, I've been happy. I can keep my head wrapped around the work that I need to get done, for the most part. I can keep semi-focused on my hobbies. Everything's pretty much been getting better since that scare, but it doesn't seem to have harmed our relationship as I would have thought. In fact... This is the closest we've been for a couple months now.
Its not much of an update, but one I figured I'd make. Things seem to be on the rise (at least emotionally and relationship wise. I'm still lost with school lol) and... all seems well.
After getting some advice, and hoping I had taken it all to heart, I was fairly happy for a few days both with and without my SO. But, as it usually did, my mood dipped into a terrible rut. I'm not proud to admit it, but nothing had gotten through to me. A little under 2 weeks after I started that thread, my SO had about enough of the depressed version of me. He said, flat out, "I guess after the initial excitement of meeting me and getting to know me has worn off, my company isn't enough to make you happy any more." He told me about a time when he was in a relationship with a woman who was very much like me, using any excuse to be sad, depressed, and miserable. And he told me straight up, that he left her because he wasn't doing her any good. He explained to me that, if I can't be happy with him, then he's apparently not what I want or need, or there was something so wrong with me that he was only distracting me from the problem and not allowing me to confront and fix it so I can move on with my life. I cried my eyes out for the better part of a half hour while he typed this, fearing that I had ruined everything because I was too stubborn to take people's advice to heart. He was telling me that he would end our relationship if I had continued the way I was, but wasn't actually ending it then and there. (Ok, I'll admit that wasn't exactly upbeat, but it gets better! I promise!)
I eventually calmed down enough to type, realizing that I had caused this problem, and it would have to be me who fixed it. We talked, I stopped crying, and things seemed better. Its been over a week since that incident, and I'm still keeping myself happy when my SO isn't around. This is the longest its been since the first few months of our relationship. I told a confidant of mine once that it would probably take an extreme situation where I lose someone or something to knock my head back into shape. I just wished it wasn't him. But, I've been happy. I can keep my head wrapped around the work that I need to get done, for the most part. I can keep semi-focused on my hobbies. Everything's pretty much been getting better since that scare, but it doesn't seem to have harmed our relationship as I would have thought. In fact... This is the closest we've been for a couple months now.
Its not much of an update, but one I figured I'd make. Things seem to be on the rise (at least emotionally and relationship wise. I'm still lost with school lol) and... all seems well.
Comment