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is it really true that you can be happy when your love is miles away?

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    is it really true that you can be happy when your love is miles away?

    so is it true? cuz i dont believe it so far

    #2
    It really depends, sometimes I'm extremely happy just being able to have a conversation with him, unable to wipe the smile from my face, and other days I find myself crying from lonliness. I just have to remind myself how lucky I am to have met someone as wonderful as him and that he loves me, that truely makes me happy, to know that even though he's 2,000 some miles away he does love me and loves me for who I am and not how I look.

    You just have to remind yourself of the good things that made you fall in love with your SO in the first place.

    Notes:
    Met: 8.17.09
    Started Dating: 8.20.09
    First Met: 10.2.10
    Closed the Distance: 8.9.14

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      #3
      Everyone's different. Some people can be happy, some can tolerate it, and others hate it more than Catholics hate condoms.

      Personally I've been able to be happy throughout most of my relationship despite the distance because I did not question my SO's love for me even if we went days or weeks without talking. After our visit I can say it dropped down to tolerance because while I still can be happy with messaging and that sort of contact, I was made aware of the physical aspect and now realized I didn't have that and didn't know when I would have it again.

      When you sit on a stump and pine constantly over the one person missing, physically, from your life yeah you aren't going to be the happiest camper on earth. It's why people encourage hobbies, hanging out with friends, and all that because it keeps you busy and you have that independence luxury that CD relationships, for some part, do not have.

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        #4
        I am very happy. We have been apart for 5 months and went the last month without skyping. It could just because I am very independent but I don't feel like my life has stopped and can no longer be happy when he is away. I know that we are going to be together soon and even if we don't talk for days I know that he still cares for me.
        I am a firm believer that you need to be able to make yourself happy/ be happy on your own before anyone else can or you can for anyone else.

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          #5
          Hm, it's really hard to say. The distance would be easier for me if my SO wouldn't live so far away, but 11,500 miles is quite a lot. Which is why we can't do surprise visits or visit more than once a year. It gets me sad and I sometimes cry myself to sleep. I can be happy though. Very happy. But I do have my ups and downs.

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            #6
            Of course I'm mostly truly happy being with my SO, but we have to live our lives away from them as well.
            I have a lot of happy days. Especially if I can spend them with close friends and such. Also looking forward to seeing my SO next and think back on our times together also makes me happy.
            If you were close distance, I doubt you would spend every minute together with your love. You have to discover what makes you happy on your own and not think too negatively on the distance.

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              #7
              Originally posted by snow_girl View Post
              I am a firm believer that you need to be able to make yourself happy/ be happy on your own before anyone else can or you can for anyone else.
              I agree!

              I have my good days and my bad. I think it is super important to keep your life going even though your SO is not near. I think that keeping busy has kept me from sitting and dwelling on the fact that he is not here. I agree that doing something anything to pass the time where it be a job or hobby whatever is the key to being not sad, and even happy at times.

              Keep your chin up!
              sigpic

              I Cry Cause I Miss You, Smile Cause I Have You, I Can't Live Without You!

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                #8
                Everytime i get to talk to my SO and its just me and him, he's paying his attention to me i am the happiest girl in the world. And when we talk and i get to spend time with him all i can do is smile, and when were apart and i see his name somewhere or get reminded of him that smile is back. So yes, you can be truly happy loving someone even if there far away. Of course there are struggles and its hard, but thats like any relationship, if you love the person your with the good out ways the bad. Your going to get lonely at times im sure. (lol ive had days were i cry cause its hard) but its always worth it in the end. Its funny but with a LDR you appreciate more, you learn to not take for granted things like communication and telling your SO i love you. Just a simple but meaningful message can keep you happy and smiling all day. So yeah im in a LDR and i can say i am happy.
                I love you Nathan <3
                sigpic
                5/25/09 <3

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                  #9
                  Yeah, its true, I am and have been for 2 years. But then again, both of us are more independent than most, and we accept the challenges of being 4200 miles apart because we managed to find each other somehow. Everybody is different, some of us thrive on the independence an LDR can provide, some merely tolerate the miles and do OK in between visits, and some just can't do it. There's a lot of in-between in there, too. You have to decide if an LDR is something you can handle and be alright with, because you DO deserve to be happy! If you can't be happy not seeing your SO regularly, and need a more constant physical connection to be satisfied, you might need to rethink your situation.

                  Its possible also that maybe you just need a different perspective and try focusing in on the good parts of an LDR, like being able to do what you want, when you want. Or, being happy that you found a great guy, even though he's far away. The most important thing though, is to keep busy and live your life. Never give that up.
                  Our separation of each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. ~Albert Einstein

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                    #10
                    I know it can be hard in the beginning and there wil be low times throughout your relationship, but look up and realize it won't last forever Treasure the time you do have with your SO, use it as a reminder for just how wonderful your relationship really is and let it fuel your desire to keep it going strong until whenever it may be until you can lose the distance for good. And remember, you were not always in a relationship. There have been times when you were single and I'm betting that you were not constantly miserable. So remember how that feels! It's good to have some independance It's okay not to be with your SO all the time and just as you treasure your time with them, likewise, realize that you need to give yourself some attention as well and utilize that time in exploring your own interests and hobbies, being with your friends and family and getting to know yourself even better. I know it's not always going to be easy and there will be times where you'll just sit down an want to cry from being so lonely and that's okay and normal, you just can't allow it to consume you entirely. You're going to be miserable and sooner or later it's going to affect your relationship negatively which nobody wants to happen.

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                      #11
                      im never happy without her i just fake it well and have bouts of happyness because my heart is in Scotland so im never fully happy until shes in the same room with me unless im talking to her online

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                        #12
                        Follow your heart. If your heart told you that they were truly the one, and told you, "Screw distance!", then that is what you should continue feeling, WITHOUT a single doubt when you are happy. However, there are times where that distance magically appears again...As a threatening number that you'd see in a horror movie painted on the wall with blood...But if they are truly the one you want to be with, think of how the wait is worth it. All of us on LFAD are going through possibly something that makes A LOT of same city couples break up...Distance. They weren't used to being apart, and once it happens, it feels like it's over for them. Just think of everything good...What made you fall in love with them, and think of all of your good memories together...If any doubts come will thinking of your best memories, there is a problem...I hope I helped a little...

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                          #13
                          I am very happy, even when he's not around.

                          Of course, I miss him a LOT and have moments where I just wish I could jump into his arms.... but as a whole, I do feel fulfilled and happy as a person on my own. I am very involved on campus and have lots of wonderful friends to hang out with. I feel that if I can be happy on my own, I will be beyond happy when we're together, which is exactly the case!

                          As much as you miss him, try to find ways to make yourself happy even when he's not there. It's better for you, for him, and for your relationship.

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                            #14
                            You can.
                            Apart from what everyone else said, that there's also other people in your life (I love doing things with my friends or having long phone conversations with my mum) and things you do that make you happy, my boyfriend also makes me happy from a distance.
                            I do of course miss him a lot. But at the same time I'm sometimes just so happy to have met him and to have such a perfect boyfriend. He might be far, but he's wonderful and so absolutely perfect for me.
                            Maybe it's a stupid comparison, but it's sort of like investing money into something. Like when you invest in a house or whatever, you don't have your $$$ or €€€ in your purse to spend them on something fancy, but you know you do own them or you are, in fact, very rich. This is what it's like for me anyway. My boyfriend is not always in the same place as me and he's actually that far away that I can't just get up and see him if I wanted to, but he exists and loves me and I know that one day we will live together

                            Być tam, zawsze tam, gdzie Ty.

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                              #15
                              Some days, in a LDR, you really feel like something is missing, but one thing great about a LDR is that you can really focus on yourself, and what makes you happy outside of your relationship. Some people have more trouble with LDR's than others (take me for example, it drives me insane sometimes) but ideally you won't always be in an LDR, and the thought of closing that distance should make you happier than anything if you're with the right person.
                              ~"Happiness is not the absence of problems but the ability to deal with them"~

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