Imagination Running Wild

[acroush]

Ugh I hate when he does this. My boy always tells me that he is going to be home at a certain time, but tends to come home hours later then he said he would. It is not that I care what he is doing, or who he is with , but whenever he does this my imagination runs wild and I get so worried that something has happened to him or what not. I am not worried about him running off with another girl or anything like that, I trust him, but I am worried he is hurt or in the hospital or something like that. He is overseas and does not have a cell phone in which I can text or call when I get scared so I can't check to see if he is ok... Well I could, but it would be super expensive.

How do I surpress these fears? Does anyone else have there imagination run wild when there SO is MIA?

[Kristie]

Do you have his home phone number? You can always try reaching him there. Also it would be a good idea to be friends with his best friend or a family member (through facebook or something) and in the event that something happens they can notify you.

In the mean time, my suggestion is to keep your mind busy. Your situation is tricky because you have no instant way to communicate with him.

[NaNi]

I know how you feel. My SO often tells me that she's going to be home at a certain time too and when I check the time it's like already two hours later than that. I used to get really worried, especially since she's the driver among her friends and I often thought how easily there could have been an accident. She never used to text me either or, when she did, I was already worried sick. I talked to her about it and now she sends me a text message whenever she's going to be late. It's expensive for us as well (Germany - New Zealand), but it's just one text and it makes me feel better.

[acroush]

4 hrs and still waiting...

[snow_girl]

I think you should have a talk with him. Nothing serious but maybe see if he can work on getting better at estimating what time he'll be home. Then you wouldn't have to worry so much. Tell him to start adding on 2 hours automatically. Being home sooner is better then later.

[Tara_Lynn]

This has happened with my SO and I as well. It is especially hard when there is a time difference. If it is late at night here, we tend to react like it is late there as well, but really they could be in the middle of a work day or evening traffic. It's hard to deal with, but I've learned I just have to have faith it is okay. I also know that his classmates/friends would let me know if anything horrible happened. Is there anyone over there that would do the same for you? And you should definitely mention to him that four hours isn't quite acceptable.

[WakeUpSusie]

I understand where you're coming from. Just keep in mind that he's studying abroad and having the time of his life experiencing a new country and culture, so if he isn't home when he says he will be it's probably for a good reason. He's still with you, so it's obvious that he loves you and isn't doing anything fishy. Try to be understanding and encourage him to experience as much time in the culture as he can while he's there! You're not going anywhere, after all

[Sierra]

Ugh I hate when he does this. My boy always tells me that he is going to be home at a certain time, but tends to come home hours later then he said he would. It is not that I care what he is doing, or who he is with , but whenever he does this my imagination runs wild and I get so worried that something has happened to him or what not. I am not worried about him running off with another girl or anything like that, I trust him, but I am worried he is hurt or in the hospital or something like that. He is overseas and does not have a cell phone in which I can text or call when I get scared so I can't check to see if he is ok... Well I could, but it would be super expensive.

How do I surpress these fears? Does anyone else have there imagination run wild when there SO is MIA?

Yes, I know exactly how you fell. It doesn't matter to me that he's out, and I'm not worried who he's with, I just worry whether or not he's ok. I had this issue long before my boyfriend and I ever made anything official and one day it got so bad I had a talk with him about it. Now, instead of giving me a specific time, he gives me a time frame, and it can be a pretty big one, and he is always back within that time frame. Sometimes friends get caught up in conversations, or there's a bad accident, or someone gets a little drunk and won't drive home. When he knows he'll be home MUCH later than expected, it's usually when he's at a friends house, he hops on their computer and lets me know.

My boyfriend doesn't have a cell phone so I don't have a way to just send him a text like, are you alright, or for him to let me know he'll be home later than expected, but since he found out how much it bothered me, he's been so much better about it, AND it quells my anxiety when he isn't back when he said he'd be.

[Leigh]

I have the same thing happen to me my imagination gets the best of me at times when I can't reach him. I have to take a deep breath and tell myself he's probably just busy out running errands. It is hard though waiting for a return call at times.

[Joyce:)]

Hey darling,
i have the same problem, and it gets worse when i text him and he doesn't reply. My boyfriend has a smartphone,so i have tons of applications to call and text him for free, but if he doesn't reply, i just freak out.
i trust him with all my heart, i know he's not doing anything bad when he's late, so i have even more reasons to start thinking he's hurt, in trouble or anything bad.
at least i'm not the only one to worry in the relationship: last weekend i was out, i had texted him, he had replied, i didn't reply for half hour until i realized he had been calling and texting because he was worried.
there is no solution i think to all this worrying. i can remind you that odds are that he'll be late for no big reason, but there will be always that part of you that lets your imagination run wild.
at least you trust and love him enough not to have thoughts of him cheating, so that's a good thing. there are so many couples, even in CDRs that freak out when they don't hear from their partner because they think they are with someone else.
as weird as it may sound, i'm glad i worry about his safety insteado of him cheating, it means our love is strong enough not to have that kind of bad thoughts.

[elina]

Oh dear, have I been there.. >_< I've gone as far as googling the local news of his hometown to see if there was any headlines of car crashes or something that he might've been a part of.. one of the most horrible feelings, that.

Most of the time I was worrying over nothing, sometimes there was a reason to be worried (e.g. one time he went to the hospital after some idiot had elbowed him in the face and he was spitting blood, I thought he'd be back on the same day but I had to wait until the next day to hear from him.. I was worried sick and cried my eyes out >_<).. you just never know, as unfortunate as it is.

Have you ever mentioned this to him? Maybe you should tell him that, although you don't mean to, you get really worried when you don't hear from him. Hopefully he'll understand how you feel every time that happens and tries to do something to stop it happening. I can't really think of a way to make you stop feeling worried, other than trying to keep yourself as distracted as possible. Guess it's pretty normal to feel worried about the people you love so much.. *shrugs*