A little bout of Depression...

[srigg009]

Hello Everyone,
I'm just posting to kind of vent tonight. Ever since my SO left after visiting in November, I haven't been myself, I've been kind of down and out, but the past couple of days have been especially bad. There's a lot going on and being stressed on top of missing him isn't helping at all. I'm in my last week of this semester of school which means too many projects and exams. I just found out my little brother is having surgery on May 18th to have his pacemaker replaced. My SO and I are trying to move in together and I'm not having much luck finding an apartment for us. And once again, I miss him. This feeling I have right now without him here is crazy, its like a numbing, painful feeling. But yet, I can't cry. I miss him so much! Has anyone else missed their SO to this extent? I feel like I'm having an anxiety attack without him. I know things could be so much worse but for some reason right now it feels like the weight of the world is on my shoulders, and all I can do is push through it...

Signed: a depressed long distance girlfriend

[LadyMarchHare]

I think a lot of what you're feeling is due to the increasing amount of stress you're dealing with. You're trying to finish up a semester of school which in itself is hectic, your brother is having surgery, and you're apartment hunting and not getting any leads or hopefuls from it. Plus add the natural instinct of missing your guy and I think a good portion of the population would be either crying or so upset they can't cry. (it is possible, sometimes you can get so depressed or upset that you can't find the energy to cry because you're worn out) Is he helping with the apartment search at all? Because I would think since you're both looking to move that he should be an active part and could, for the time being, take over even if he's busy with his own life just to take some of the weight off your shoulders.

With some people (myself included) visits can be a double-edged sword and when they're over they leave us feeling the normal reaction of sadness and withdrawal but it tends to linger in some form or another instead of letting us get back to how things were despite knowing what being without distance is like. It's normal, just don't let yourself be overwhelmed by it which I know is easier said than done. Take things a day at a time, set small goals for yourself and try not to think about everything at once. Even try a reward system. Finish this exam, reward yourself. Go a day without crying, reward yourself. Little stuff like that can go a long way and it's also a distraction and a positive one at that. You'll get through it, even if it seems like it's too hard to.

[srigg009]

I think you're right. And I know he would help with the apartment search if he could, but since he's moving up here to where I am, he can't really come look at the apartments or help me find them. Neither of us has the money to visit anytime soon between school and moving. But he is taking some weight off of my shoulder by paying the first month rent. The depression is off and on, its a lot worse when hes not online to talk to and he doesn't have a phone. But Its just something I have to make it through in order to be with him. Life is crazy!