dunzo...

[OliveOyl]

so i am in the middle of my visit to mexico to see my so. and we broke up. he said and seemed soooo excited to see me... and when I got here, we had a great time, but it seemed like something was bugging him. He wasn't affectionate with me at all. And then he told me he wasn't because he kept comparing this visit with our first visit, which was AMAZING and we were disgustingly in puppy love. . .and then as soon as I get here he is "confused" and "needs time to think" but "doesn't want to break up". But, "doesn't know why he doesn't feel the same as december". . . wtf?

[LadyMarchHare]

I think everyone has moments where they question the good things they have whether just out of the blue or because of something else going on. At the same time people do fall out of love with people, though I'm not saying that's what the case is. For all anyone knows something happened and he feels overwhelmed or afraid, or could just be second-guessing himself. Though I do have to say that was an inconvenient time for him to bring that up even though I don't think there's ever a convenient time.

Let him have his time, don't push anything on him as far as action or decision but at the same time try and see if there is indeed a problem if you can help fix it.

[OliveOyl]

hard to give him time when he acts so cold to me.. and then out of the blue wants to cuddle and sleep with me (sleep sleep)...and wants to give me kisses on the neck...and keeps introducing me to his family...and talks about when we are going to have kids... and then doesn't know how he feels about me...and then doesn't want to break up...and then doesn't know if he wants to break up...and then tells me he'll do whatever I want... and then gets mad when I tell him I want to go back to the city (he was going wanyways for some work thing, and was planning on leaving me with his mom for 4 days--during a major holiday)...and then doesn't tell his mom WHY I wanted to leave and WHY I felt so uncomfortable staying with him. He wanted time to think so I thought he could use a few days to himself... or if he wanted.. alone together to figure things out. ugh. I am so beyond pissed.

[nic&matt]

Oh I'm so sorry...hang in there, give him some space to clear his head, and be there for him when he needs you. It's confusing, especially getting out of that "honeymoon" phase, and it's a difficult transition. I went through it, thinking that becuase we had nothing to talk, it meant we weren't in love. My SO convinced me, and it took a long time, that when you really love someone, you go through regular emotions and everyday life. When you think about your family, you don't have passionate moments every single day, you tell them about your day, goods and bads. Just help your SO see that, but let him figure it out by himself, don't force it on him.
Best of luck. Keep us updated please. The whole LFAD community is behind you

[LadyMarchHare]

hard to give him time when he acts so cold to me.. and then out of the blue wants to cuddle and sleep with me (sleep sleep)...and wants to give me kisses on the neck...and keeps introducing me to his family...and talks about when we are going to have kids... and then doesn't know how he feels about me...and then doesn't want to break up...and then doesn't know if he wants to break up...and then tells me he'll do whatever I want... and then gets mad when I tell him I want to go back to the city (he was going wanyways for some work thing, and was planning on leaving me with his mom for 4 days--during a major holiday)...and then doesn't tell his mom WHY I wanted to leave and WHY I felt so uncomfortable staying with him. He wanted time to think so I thought he could use a few days to himself... or if he wanted.. alone together to figure things out. ugh. I am so beyond pissed.

Sounds like there's some dirt swept under the rug he needs clearing out the house altogether. Yeah I'd be pretty ticked if I was constantly treated to "yes, wait no, wait... yes. Wait! No, ...yes. No. ...No, maybe yes." all the time. Not only is it confusing, but it's rude and disrespectful because your own feelings are not really being taken into consideration when he out of the blue decides maybe things need to chill, oh but let's hold hands and kiss like nothing's wrong. If he's feeling any sort of pressure from family or friends or anyone else about your relationship he needs to work that out or share it with you so you both can work on it. If this is just him, maybe it's better that you steer clear for a while until he figures out exactly what he wants, who he wants, and how long he wants it.

[Mara]

I agree with LMH and nic. I am so sorry though because I know you were looking forward to this visit and it's not going so well. I just hope he figures out what exactly he wants and needs.

[OliveOyl]

yea, thats kinda how I felt. I know distance (ironic eh?) is what he needs. I just wish I never actually came. And I am going to probably leave sooner than expected from mexico.. so if he decides he made a mistake.. welp, too bad?

[TknandLvnIt]

I am sorry to hear that your trip isn't going as planned but I think that you should still enjoy your time out there. I'm sure you are going to want to talk to him before you leave even if you are pissed at him for the roller coaster he is taking you on. Its much better to have the conversation face to face and hear each other out and decide what you are going to do when you are back long distance. I wish you the best and I hope that he stops being stubborn and realizes what he could lose. I pray that you two are able to talk things out. Big hug :-)

[milaya]

Wow...
I'm so sorry to hear this. Like others has said, all you can do is give him space, but I really hope he gets his feelings sorted out very soon, since it's not fair that he keeps making you confused. You deserve an answer so you also can sort out your emotions and think about what to do next.
I guess it does sound like the honeymoon phase is over - which is a crucial time for couples. Unfortunately there's only so little I can say about that certain phase, because my SO and I never really had it. (we've argued about anything from day one).
I hope you get to talk it out and things work out for the best.
*hugs*

[OliveOyl]

thank you all for you kind words and help over these past 8 months. I really appreciate the help and support. I really did think I was in a serious relationship, but I think I was the only one who was taking it seriously. My SO apparently just lost interest. Maybe that is because he never managed to fit me into his life like I did. So, his loss, eh? I kid of let him have it today, not because I hate him or anything, but simply because he literally left me here in a foreign country by myself while I am extremely dehydrated because I am sooo sick! I have an intestinal infection. And uh, he couldn't tell me he didn't have interest in me to my face... because he feels so ashamed. What is he 5? ugh! so immature! ANyhooo.. read my blog the text message is there....

[Mara]

I'm so sorry! I know this must be hard for especially since he decided to do this on a visit and couldn't even tell you to your face that he had lost interest in you, but if this is how he really feels, than you are much better off. No sense being in a relationship with someone who has "lost interest" in you. So sorry though.