Worth the battle?

[SeaLover]

Just to set the story straight from the start, The SO and I are very happy with the decision to begin this LDR. Although this is our second try, we don't want to feel like our relationship is doomed. I have a habit of giving people second chances if they deserve it. After several failed attempts with other girls between round 1 and round 2, i really feel like i have a better idea of what I want. Which is a good factor in why I took her back.

Anyways, after getting back together for the second time, I have received nothing but warm welcomes and approvals from her families and most of our friends. The only real obstacle we have is my immediate family. My mom has told me flat out several times that she just does not trust her. She says that she will support me in my decisions, but I cant see how she can if she doesn't have trust.

I guess I just need to know if our struggles to gain my parents' approval will be worth it or if i'm fighting a lost cause. I love my girlfriend very much and I don't think i'm ready to break it off. Advice/insight will be greatly appreciated by both of us.

[LadyMarchHare]

My mother acts the same way with my guy. She does not like him for several reasons, she holds his mistakes against him in an almost melodramatic fashion, and basically waits with bated breath for the next screw up or the day he leaves me. But at the same time my mom tells me she won't stop me because she knows he makes me happy and so tries to put on a supportive demeanor even though I really know what's going on inside her head.

In the end you decided to be with your girl, you've decided to give her a second chance and hold nothing against her and try to make it work between you. It's your choice and despite what anyone says, family or not, their words really shouldn't influence you because they don't know her, they don't really know what's best for you as only you know that, and they can't see the whole relationship and how it affects you. If they don't want to like her, that's their problem. Though I think chances are down the road once the relationship grows stronger and they get to know her better they may either change their minds or learn to hold their tongues. Do what makes you happy and to hell with what everyone else thinks.

[SeaLover]

Thank you. I truly do hope that my family can one day see that she makes me sincerely happy and that's all that should really matter. After everything is said and done, it doesn't really matter what happened last time because we still love each other. Thank you again for bringing light to this situation.

[LostInLove]

My mom supports my decision without actually supporting my decision. She doesn't like that he lives far away, she doesn't think we know each other well enough, and she thinks that he's basically taking me away from her. But she lets me talk to her about him, she gives me a hug when I'm sad, and she does her best to make him feel welcome when he's visiting.

I'm not saying it's always easy, or that she doesn't still try sometimes to make me see that this relationship is a bad idea, I'm just trying to show you that it is possible for you mom to support your decision without liking your SO. And make sure to share lots of good stories about her. If your mom is always hearing how happy she makes you, then she's likely to start being more supportive.

[meldir]

I agree with LadyMarchHare! Its your relationship and although of course it is much nicer to have the full support of your family, in the end its your life and your decision. Parents often have a different idea about relationships anyway because during their upbringing as a child and throughout their lifes, they obtained different values on the matter. That means they probably reflect on it and would act differently if they were you, and they think that and end up telling you they dont trust her.
If she makes _you_ happy though thats the main thing and you should definitely carry on

[SeaLover]

Thank you everyone for the support. I won't let this obstacle get me down.