I Wish I Knew Why It Was So Hard This Time...

[Sierra]

I've been in a LDR before, and after the last one I vowed it was something I would never do again. But obviously, I've found myself in a long distance relationship again. You don't get to choose who you love, but I believe this time I've found the right guy and I know he's worth the wait.

I don't know if I just don't remember struggling so much with my last LDR, but this time, it's really hard for me. I wake up reaching for him, cry myself to sleep because I want him to be there. Part of me feels like maybe I'm too old to be involved in this kind of relationship (I'm 27) and I'm terrified I'm wasting my life.

I wish I could divine the future, and make sure this time I'm making a good choice. I want him here more than anything, I want us to be together. I want to share my life with him and spend time with him and I swear the time apart hurts me more than I thought.

Everyone in my life thinks that LDR are for me, basically because I'm afraid of getting too close to people, I'm extremely independent, and I get threatened when someone wants to spend a significant amount of time with me ... but now I want that. I want to spend time with him, I want him in my arms, I want us to be together.

Why is this part so hard? Why is it so hard this time?

[kireinamida]

Like what you said, you want him in your arms, spend time with him, and such. You really love him, and I think that's why the distance hurts you so much.

I understand what you're feeling. I, too, have been in an LDR before and I swore I wouldn't do it again because it hurts a lot. But now I'm doing this because I found the person I want to be with for the rest of my life. The more I love him, the more the distance hurts me, but I'm willing to wait because this is going to be worth it, and I firmly believe that. Don't be scared that you're wasting your life. There are risks in every kind of relationship, but you have to believe in him and yourself to get through this.

[Joyce:)]

Nobody can tell you if he's the one, but i must say, if your feelings for him are so strong, if you feel so empty without him, my guess is that he really does something to you, that he is different from your past LDR and that he must be worth it.

i know it's tough, i feel so empty without my boyfriend too, but hold on, because nothing worth having comes easy.

You probably didn't struggle this much just because the past LDR boyfriend wasn't as special as this one.

[Sierra]

Like what you said, you want him in your arms, spend time with him, and such. You really love him, and I think that's why the distance hurts you so much.

I understand what you're feeling. I, too, have been in an LDR before and I swore I wouldn't do it again because it hurts a lot. But now I'm doing this because I found the person I want to be with for the rest of my life. The more I love him, the more the distance hurts me, but I'm willing to wait because this is going to be worth it, and I firmly believe that. Don't be scared that you're wasting your life. There are risks in every kind of relationship, but you have to believe in him and yourself to get through this.

I was so terrified and reluctant to enter into another LDR, enough though I was pretty sure I found the man of my dreams with my current boyfriend. I wanted to meet him first and make sure our connection was real ... The sad thing to me is, I do love him, but I haven't told him yet, I want to tell him in person.

In my past LDR I thought I was with the man I was going to spend my life with, we were engaged to be married and everything. But it didn't work out. And that's fine, I feel blessed to have been through that relationship in the first place because it opened me up to how I need to be in future relationships and showed me the difference between what is healthy and what is not.

Like you, I really believe that the man I'm with is worth it. I believe that if we're able to get through this, he's the man I'll spend the rest of my life with. It's hard for me to have faith that this WILL work after my last LDR. I try to remember that when people are meant to be together, and want to be together, that they find a way to make it work and I try to remind myself that this is what I want. He is what I want. But I get so scared. I was so confident in my last LDR but now I'm afraid, maybe because this time I feel like I have so much more to lose.

Nobody can tell you if he's the one, but i must say, if your feelings for him are so strong, if you feel so empty without him, my guess is that he really does something to you, that he is different from your past LDR and that he must be worth it.

i know it's tough, i feel so empty without my boyfriend too, but hold on, because nothing worth having comes easy.

You probably didn't struggle this much just because the past LDR boyfriend wasn't as special as this one.

At the time, I thought my last LDR was worth it, I thought he was the man I was going to be with, but the connection I had with him is nothing like what I have with my boyfriend now. He's that perfect fit to my personality, my body ... everything. I want to make HIM happy, I want to be by his side through his life and help him reach his goals. When I think about the future he's always in it.

You know, it's funny...after I broke up with my ex (my last LDR) because we were engaged, I decided I was going to do something special for myself and make a dream I had come true -- and I did, I bought a horse who I later had to sell. Selling that horse was the hardest thing I've ever done, including breaking up with the man that I had then planned on marrying, and I realized, if I love an animal more than I loved that man, he probably wasn't the right one for me.

I do care so much for my boyfriend now, it's hard to not be with him. I don't want to rush things and close the distance way too soon and make a mistake, but I would do anything, anything, to have him by my side.

There's so much of my life I wish I could share with him and it hurts my soul that I can't.

You are right though, nothing worth having comes easily, and maybe us having to work so hard to make this relationship work is just a way to show us how much we mean to one another and how worthwhile our relationship is.

I just wish there was a way to ease the pain, to have some more faith and to not miss him so much. I thought after meeting him, that things would be easier, but I feel more alone without him here with me than I did before we officially began our relationship, and I think it's because I know I need him and he's missing.