What do you do......

[tinkabelle]

What do you do when your heart aches because you want to be with your loved one but can't? My s/o & I went thru a rough patch recently (still a sore point between us) but we're trying to work it out. But for some reason I miss him really bad today. I woke up this morning with this ache & it hasn't eased yet. Usually hearing from him helps but I think that made it worse.

Now I'm not very good at relationships, so this long distance thing has been very hard for me to adjust to. Usually I'm ok (kinda) with the distance but today I can't seem to cheer myself up. I'm tired of crying & feeling sad. Even my favorite activity (reading) can't distract me from this feeling. So what advice can you all give me to help me deal with this?

Thanks for any help you can give!

[Sierra]

I just tell myself that each day is one day closer to seeing him again.

[LadyMarchHare]

Depending on how bad I'm feeling that day I will either try my hardest to distract myself from having to think or allow wandering thoughts in, or I paw through all the pictures I have of him, read our IM logs, text messages, and anything else that makes me feel a little less lonely by recalling better times. There have been times when I've gotten so lonely with no way to contact him that I'll sit in my pitch black bedroom and talk as though I were talking to him. Tell him how I feel, what I'm thinking about, just anything off the top of my head. In reality I know I'm basically talking to myself, but it makes me feel better to pretend that he's listening.

Some days are going to be harder than others. It's not unusual to go from being alright to in the middle of a breakdown because you miss them or can't talk to them or hold them or whatever. Tomorrow's always another day and even if tomorrow's bad too, you have other days ahead where you won't feel as bad or you'll even feel happy.

[Micah]

Personally, it helps me to write him a handwritten letter, or I just call him. Or, I will snuggle with the stuffed turtle he gave me. Not a lot really distracts me from it, though.

[ClipitsWings]

Distraction seems to be the major method for feeling better in LDRs, so if not reading, maybe try something more active, or new so that it grabs your attention more. possibly a physical activity of some sort?
i also have a tendency to reread chatlogs when i'm lonely sometimes you'll notice these little undertones you missed in the moment itself, and it can really help if you can find some, or at least look at all the happiness you've shared
last, for me, i might try to express what i'm feeling, maybe as a doodle or transform it into a plot (which tends to get out of control XD but then hey, its still keeping your mind off of it!)

good luck

[Butterfly]

Is it possible for you guys to Skype? It always helps us when we really miss each other. Just having that face to face contact can really help sometimes.

[FadedSunrise]

Personally, I might be a little weird on this, but I CAN'T stand video chat with him when I miss him a lot. The sight of him at those times is just going to remind me of what I can't have. I'd text him or im him, go through myself into a long workout(1.5hrs+), and toughen my shell, so to speak. Tell myself to don't let it get to me, that it's nothing big. But I'm dysfunctional like that.

[leonsfangirl]

I tell myself "It's only temporary" or "It won't be this way forever", re-read old msn logs and listen to our songs and at night i hug the life out of a pillow,Distraction helps alot too. And if i really miss him, i send him a message telling him how much i miss him and what i miss about him which makes me feel better.

[Jonesonaboat]

I go for a run or a bike ride. Put some upbeat music on my ipod and just head on out.
Also surround myself with people to distract me. I spend a lot of time with my brother, sometimes when I can't sleep we'll stay up late together and just watch movies and play video games. Reading is a great distraction for me although I don't get much down time to do that.

Planning things really takes my mind off things. I search things in his area and plan days out for us. Search hotels and organise our next meeting. We're closing the distance at the end of May too, so I have plenty of things that needs doing that way before I leave. Just generally keep your mind and body as active as possible.

[NaNi]

I usually cry. It makes me feel better. Talking to my SO through Skype is also really helpful.

[loveknowsnodistance27]

I try to keep myself busy if at all possible. Lately, I've had a lot to do to help out my dad and his fiance because they are getting married in June. Different projects for that has helped distract me a lot. I spend time with some friends and family as well and that keeps my mind off missing him for a little while at least. Also, I will look through old texts, MSN logs, look at pictures of him/us, and listen to songs that remind me of him. Every night, I fall asleep hugging a pillow that smells like him...I rub his deodorant on the pillow and it smells so good! Writing is probably my favorite source of relief. I either write in my blog here, in my journal, or will even write a letter to my boyfriend telling him how I feel. I don't send those letters to him...I just do it to mimic writing to him. I do send him real letters and cards with much more meaning than those letters I write out on desperate days where I just miss him to no end.