Breakup, really could use some advice

[theoryofredice]

So he broke up with me, but I'm still trying to win him back because he told me he still loves me.

So here's the thing he's scared he scared about 10 different things all at the same time.

We have been dating for over 2 years. He's leaving for Ecuador in three weeks =( for 7 months. We already talked and I said I was willing to wait for him. However 2 weeks ago he said he didn't know if he could do it. He was so scared that he was holding me back in my life preventing me from getting a job I really care about it. Hes scared of the future I know that. And saying I'll wait for him for the next 7 months not only means the next 7 months it means a year and a year means another year of us being together and he just sorta panicked thinking about it.

I need a gesture or something to prove to him it will be ok and its not scary. He still loves me.

The only tricky part is he says he needs to be by himself to find himself while hes in Ecuador. But again i'm still willing to wait while he finds himself.

If anyone has any suggestion of what to say or how to say it to convince him to not be so scared. I'm really at a lost right now

Thank you

[LadyMarchHare]

If he wants his freedom while he's away and you're comfortable with that then tell him you are willing to pull back as much as he needs so he can have that freedom, even if it means being just friends instead of in a relationship. However his other fears are not really big deals. Yes it's difficult to be long distance, but hey the fact this site exists shows it can happen and happen successfully. People make sacrifices and compromises all the time in order to maintain a relationship or friendship or what have you, as long as you're happy and happy with your choices he doesn't need to wonder if you're going to resent him for supposedly keeping you from a prospective career. The future is the worst thing you can worry about because anything can happen and when your mind is given that much free reign it can concoct some nasty, crazy things that'll have you wishing you could hide under your bed forever. Tell him you guys will take everything a day at a time.

Assure him you aren't going anywhere, that if ever a problem comes up you two will work on it together. Try to get him not to entertain the what-if monster, though. Heck make some promise or oath to him declaring your loyalty, write it down and give it to him, basically a gesture of trust and love.

[Joyce:)]

All that i have to say is that if he says he's scared about ruining your future, just remind him that for you he is your future.
Everyone is scared of keeping their SO back, of not letting them have the experiences they could have. You just have to make him understand that you don't need any experiences that don't involve having him in your life.
Give him the time he needs to think, as long as you make sure he knows how much you're going to fight for him.

[we'reunderthesamesky]

I can see myself in your situation dear.

My SO told me not to wait for him because he isn't sure what future he could offer me and he couldn't say how long I need to wait. He was emotional that time when he said that and I truly understood how he was able to make a decision like that. He doesn't want to ruin my life because of him and that made me realize he loves me. But instead of pulling back, I decided to keep our relationship together. I assured him I will wait, that I will continue to nurture our relationship though it's difficult that he's moving farther away from me. Right now we're still adjusting to our new set-up like mode of communication, time difference and new priorities and I can see he has planned on the things that he needed to do in his life first and focused on the things that matter to him and that includes me. This just made us stronger and the mindset of being together in the future keep us going in this hard time.