Surprise Visit? Your opinions...

[Micah]

Have any of you successfully made a surprise visit?

Do you think I should I make one?

Here's the story. My SO and I are hoping to close the distance in either June or July. He is just waiting to see if he is going to make a transfer at work to a different city, about an hour from where he currently lives. He should know this by mid-May. Based on that decision, we will then proceed and find a place to live so that I can move to be with him. His birthday is on May 15th. I was planning on visiting him on his birthday, but now he says he wants to wait to find out what happens with the transfer before I come visit. And, he says he wants to concentrate on closing the distance instead of me making another visit. The thing is, I'd probably have to make another visit before I officially moved there to check out potential places to live, since he won't make a decision on a place without me there. So, he might have a point that I should wait until we know about this. BUT... I am a very spontaneous dreamer and he's a very practical realist.

We usually see one another every 3 weeks, and by the time his birthday rolls around it will have been reaching the 3 week mark. So, I was thinking he can't be upset if I make a surprise visit for his birthday, right? I really want to spend his birthday with him, and I have a feeling if I am not there, he will just treat it as a normal day. I want his day to be special. Then again, I don't want to go against his wishes by visiting him when he said he thinks we should hold off for more practical purposes. From an outside perspective, do you think it'd be a bad idea if I made a surprise visit?

[jenny_ell]

i always think surprise visits are a great idea. you have an easier way to do it because it sounds like you live in the same country? i am international with my SO but have always thought about a surprise visit, it would be really hard though.

i think it is a great idea

maybe you can talk to his siblings or parents, and have them tell him to get the day off for some random reason, then you can surprise him and he will not be working or busy!

[Leigh]

I say go for it. Giving your SO a surprise visit would be an awesome birthday gift. Maybe you could plan a nice quiet romantic celebration with just the two of you.

[Tanja]

I think it's a good idea and I like jenny_ell's suggestion about planning it with his friends/family. Even though he told you to wait it's his birthday AND you're right, you could use the chance to check out possible places to live in. Surely he would be nothing but surprised and happy to see you on his doorstep wishing him happy birthday

[Micah]

He doesn't live with his family. He lives with another guy and I unfortunately do not have the guy's contact information, like email or phone number to communicate wanting to make it a surprise. My boyfriend forwards me his work schedule every time he gets it, so I will know when he will and won't be home. He is a pretty predictable guy and rarely has plans when he's not at work.

He has told me a lot of times that he doesn't like surprises, so does that change anything? I mean, me coming to visit him would be a large surprise. It would be a 10 hour drive, so that's why I am kind of paranoid that I maybe shouldn't do it.

[Tanja]

Seriously though, you're his gf, I can't see a reason why he wouldn't be happy to see you. I mean if you both can afford it and there's nothing standing in your way just do it.

If you're worried he's not gonna like it then tell him upfront that you're coming cause it's his birthday and then maybe make the trip a day sooner than expected? It would still be a surprise but he sort of knows about it.

[Joyce:)]

I think he would love it, you can never be unhappy to see your long distance SO, not even if you're supposed to close the distance the month after.

GO, have fun, check out the places where you could live and spoil him on his birthday

[Brandie]

My boyfriend surprised me earlier this year, and let me tell you it was the best weekend EVER!!! I would totally do it, I haven't done it myself, but when my boyfriend surprised me, like I can't explain in words how amazing it was!!! He told me the day of that he had a surprise for me and that he would show me over skype, then he called me and told me that he's ready to skype, and then said nevermind I don't want to skype so turn off your computer, put on your jacket, and come outside to see me. It was AMAZING, I felt like I was in a dream, and that I was a princess. lol go for it for sure!!!

[Heather]

Do It!!

[mllebamako]

If you're worried he's not gonna like it then tell him upfront that you're coming cause it's his birthday and then maybe make the trip a day sooner than expected? It would still be a surprise but he sort of knows about it.

I vote for this idea. I am one of those people who is super practical, loves having things planned out and hates surprises. And as much as I would've loved to see my SO, I would've been annoyed to get a surprise visit because I probably would've had my weekend all planned out (even if those plans were unimportant and could easily be changed).
Sorry to be the naysayer I just know that I don't like surprises and if your SO has said that to you multiple times, he may appreciate a little advanced knowledge.

[Micah]

Thanks. I think he'd be more than happy to see me, but he might be a little disoriented if I totally surprise him. So, I will still mull it over a little bit, but I really want to do it!

[Riyko]

Your boyfriend sounds like my ex, last year on his birthday i planned with his brother to surprise him, i surprised him and i was really happy about it, but he wasn't too happy about it, he told me i shouldn't of been there and that i know he doesn't like surprises, let me tell you it made me feel like shit and ruined the first couple of days of my trip.

So i would suggest if your boyfriend is like that to let him know about it before and see what he says.

[Micah]

I'm actually starting to chicken out, simply because I know the reason why he wants me to wait is because I will likely have to go there soon after his birthday to look at places to live. And with me needing child care whenever I go out of town, I think I might have to concentrate on waiting so that I can ensure I can be there when he really needs me. I don't like to take advantage of my mom's babysitting! I think my SO would love to see me - he has never made me feel like crap about anything, but I am beginning to see the practicality of it all. I don't think he'd be mad at me, but he might be disappointed if we have to put off looking at houses because I came to visit him a week before and can't make the time to come shortly after. I am still hoping it can work out, though, because I really want to be with him on his birthday.

[BabyGund]

Uhmm....

I've posted it here before and I'll reiterate it again. I don't think surprise visits are a good idea. I love The Boy but if he showed up on my doorstep unannounced, I'd be pissed. But then again my reasons are probably very different from most people and that's because of my daughter.

I feel like he would feel the same way. Not because he has a child, but he's kinda weird like that.

[Micah]

My SO wouldn't be pissed at me. I know this. When he's not at work, he has nothing going on in his life but basic chores and watching baseball on television. He's a very predictable person. I would ecstatic if I got a surprise visit. I don't really care because seeing my SO would overshadow any pending stuff I have going on, but I understand not everyone likes the element of surprise and I understand it would piss some people off. I appreciate different perspectives.