Hello all. So, I haven't posted for a while. As you may already know, me and my guy broke up. I was having a really tough time not being in contact as much as I would have liked. I don't think this whole LDR thing is for me. Me and my guy participated in lots of activities when we were together, and just talking on the phone, Skype, and email wasn't the same. According to him, he's not sure what he wants in life right now. He's off in Egypt and then to Greece teaching diving tours. Basically, he doesn't know where he'll end up and is not interested in having an LDR due to time constraints at work. I'm OK with the breakup, it's for the best. If we were together, we wouldn't have been able to see each other for 8 months, and maybe Skype once a week. For me, that's just not enough to keep the relationship going. What hurts the most is that he said he wanted to "be friends" but he hasn't contacted me at all. I feel completely ignored. I thought I meant something to him, and it seems like he has completely forgotten about me... I mean, why wouldn't he pick up the phone or send me an email to let me know that he's OK? Is ignoring your ex a strategy for getting over them and moving on? Either way, it's incredibly hurtful. What do you guys think?
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It's difficult to move right from being a couple to just being friends. No contact for a few days, weeks, or even months is probably what is best for you both to move on and then a friendship can begin. I was with someone almost 4 years and we broke up, after six months of no contact he got back in touch with me and we are now friends. That doesn't mean we hang out all the time or even talk all the time, we're friends on facebook, we text or call about once a month it's a friendship, but we're not best friends and don't feel the need to be in contact all the time just being friends. -
People deal with break ups differently. I think a lot of people prefer to have a clean break, and take some time before starting a friendship. It can be difficult to immediately move into being friends because the romantic feelings are still there.
I wish you all the best!
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In my experience it takes a few months before you are prepared to be friends again - the more serious you were, the longer it takes. It's a sudden adjustment to go from loving someone to seeing them in a platonic light so it does take time to get over them.Comment
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Thanks very much for the kind words everyone. It's easy to think "well, he just doesn't care," but I think it's more complex than that. If anything, I think he cares a lot more than I thought and he needs time to move past this relationship. I'm sure he will get in touch in a few months. Thanks again for the advice. I really appreciate it and it definitely helps. :-)Comment
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Trust me, if he really didn't care, he'd be able to talk to you much easier!Comment
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Yeah, that makes sense... He's probably doing me a favor by not calling. It's making it easier to get over him...Comment
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I'm sorry, sometimes to whole friends thing doesn't work. I hope you can heal soon and get somebody that will give you all that you deserve.Comment
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Yeah, I hope so too. He continues to ignore me. Not taking my feelings into consideration at all during the breakup. Turns out, he's a different man than I thought he was. Just goes to show you, some people have absolutely no consideration for other people's feelings. Makes me feel like a fool for falling for someone that appeared to be a nice guy - it turns out, he's not so kind after all. Lesson learned.Comment
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