New LDR, any advice please?

[Crimson_Petal]

Hye, I'm new here and am just looking for a little advice.
Well, it's really all in the title. I'm a Londoner who has seriously fallen head over heals for a Kiwi. I've been in an LDR before but that was only 2 hours drive and he was too young I guess to put the effort in to maintaining it.
I find myself thinking about Jorge (the Kiwi as he has become known to my friends and family) constantly, if we go a day without talking I get a little sad and miss him LOADS (apparently love brings out the soppy little girl in me-go figure).
I don't really know how to do this I guess, in my last LDR we could still see each other once a fortnight and the idea of going REALLY long periods of time (I'm a student with very little funds currently) without seeing this guy who I'm crazy about is a little daunting.
So, how does everyone do it? The end of tunnel is at least 3 years away when I finish university so we could both be in this for the long haul.
I know it's early days but there's just something about him, the ease of conversation, our similarities and just the way that he makes me feel. AAH.

So yeah..help please?

[GatoGirl]

Hi, CrimsonPetal--
You're doing it! Talk every day via skype or what have you. It's all about doing it one day at a time. That sounds like a cliche from someone's Great Aunt June, but it's the way that has worked for me--
GG

[Micah]

Just keep the communication lines open. If things start to get boring, find new things to do together as a couple from far away... send stuff in the mail, make it as interesting as you can from far away. If you are both willing to work on open communication, I believe that long distance relationships can withstand the distance. It's important to have faith and it takes work.
A lot of people here use skype, but my SO isn't into the internet, so we just text throughout the day and have a nightly phone call. (ETA: We only have a one hour time difference)

[NaNi]

I don't think talking every day is going to work out. Not with that time difference. My SO lives in New Zealand as well and we only get to talk once a week, on sunday. It's especially impossible if both are busy with work or school/uni. But you do really look forward to that day then and it keeps you going. Maybe you figured something else out though? Since you mentioned you can't really go a day without talking to each other. Or did you simply mean emails and such? You could also start writing letters (have you heard of the monthly "love letter day"?). Just take a look at the 98 things to do from a distance list!

[Crimson_Petal]

Yes, the time distance is a killer, both of us have ended up going to bed at like 4 am so that we can talk to each other, sometimes it's his morning, usually it's my morning and his evening and we do email etc, when we can't talk properly during the day. I'm guessing if it gets more serious we're going to have to figure out some kind of scheduling system! I'll go and have a read about the things to do in LDRs and I quite like the idea of love letter days! That's really sweet.
May I ask, as another person with a kiwi SO how long do you think you're going to be long distance? I think my problem is that I tend to look too far ahead and get a bit carried away, after all it is only early days here.
Thanks for your reply.

[NaNi]

May I ask, as another person with a kiwi SO how long do you think you're going to be long distance? I think my problem is that I tend to look too far ahead and get a bit carried away, after all it is only early days here.
Thanks for your reply.

We don't really know yet. We've been together for almost 1 1/2 years now and we both finish school/uni next year, around July. We would like to close the distance then, but we won't have the money. I do want to find a job after I finish school, so I can earn some money and maybe get a visa to work in New Zealand. It quite complicated and frustrating though, so we haven't really made any solid plans yet.

[Joyce:)]

just lots of patience. the time difference with my boyfriend is 9 hours, and it can get pretty tough to communicate, but we still manage to talk daily.
long distance can be pretty exausting, but it will be worth it in the long run.
i'm also looking to get done with uni (if i get accepted in england i'm looking to 4 years still) to then close the distance.
just stay strong, remember that nothing worth having comes easy. keep writing each other emails, send each other letters, letters really brighten your day.
and good luck <3

[LostInLove]

First of all, welcome!

I wouldn't worry too much about looking into the future so far ahead, so long as you don't actually start making plans and what-have-you. I'm in a similar situation with my SO, and it's something I turn to when I feel overwhelmed by the distance. It lets me see that it won't last forever.

Advice for an LDR? Keep the other person involved in your life. It sounds hard to do, but you can make it work by letting them know when you're thinking about them, send them photos of cool things from your day, things like that. Work out a communication schedule that doesn't leave both of you exhausted. And be open with each other. If you have a problem with something he's doing, say it. If you're upset with him, talk to him about it. LDR's are great for improving your communication as a couple, but you both have to make the effort.

Other than that, hang around here and ask for advice when you need it! You'll find you'll have a great support system of people who understand what you're going through.

[Madge]

I'm a kiwi girl going out with a english boy we have been together long distance 2 years now.

We are planning to close the distance end of next year as soon as I graduate. Communication is a biggie as well as trust.My SO other generally talk on skype every other day and send emails in between.

This is great place to be for advice and support! you will be very welcomed here

[we'reunderthesamesky]

I agree with all the suggestions posted here. Not everyone can handle LDR so count yourself as one of those who are brave enough to enter this kind of relationship. Patience and trust are two things which are very important. Time difference really sucks so you both have to make sacrifices. Make your communication alive and open. Be understanding by settling arguments immediately. Keep your LDR fun and interesting by updating each other with day to day events and make your SO feel loved and important.

[13000km]

Advice for an LDR? Keep the other person involved in your life. It sounds hard to do, but you can make it work by letting them know when you're thinking about them, send them photos of cool things from your day, things like that. Work out a communication schedule that doesn't leave both of you exhausted. And be open with each other. If you have a problem with something he's doing, say it. If you're upset with him, talk to him about it. LDR's are great for improving your communication as a couple, but you both have to make the effort.

This is great advice. It's the little reminders on both ends of how much you mean to each other that makes the extended amount of time apart worth it. It's absolutely possible. There is a 15 hour time difference us and we manage to skype at least an hour a day (up to 15 hours on Saturdays!).

[kat4301]

Yeah, like most people said, look at it as empowerment. In some crazy way it does change things in a relationship and you learn things you never would have known with only CD. I certainly would not recommend LDR, but it will be something to be proud of for a long time. Not many people will have their LDR to show themselves and others what kind of commitment they can make and keep. Sorry that sounded like it came off a greeting card or something but I think its true.