Hot water conversation

[thatstormynight]

My boyfriend asked me what some turn-ons are, so I told him.
But then he didn't like my answers, so he started pouting.

Some included musicians (which he isn't), men in uniform (again not him..), but also had things like blue eyes (which he has) and good with children (him too).

So what's the deal? He asked for an answer, and I answered honestly.
I was just stating general things!

[Darth_Taco]

He just thinks he doesn't live up to your standards. Tell him all the things you love about him too. Reassure him he doesn't need to be the "perfect on paper boyfriend" and that you'd rather have an amazing boyfriend like him :P.

[LostInLove]

He may not actually be a man in uniform, but he could always dress in one for fun........just saying.

Boys can be surprisingly sensitive about stuff like this. There's not much you can do about that, maybe if a conversation like this comes up again you can emphasize the traits he has and downplay the other ones ("I suppose I like men in uniform, but what I really like is guys with blue eyes), but like you said you answered honestly and if he can't deal with that he shouldn't be asking you those kind of questions. I'm sure he'll get over it soon enough though.

[vpavelock]

Just tell him listing that was because you fantasize about him in uniform. He probably just got jealous because he's afraid you look at those guys that way!

[Moon]

Well...He asked I might get slammed for this a little, but I think in this rare case, its better to fudge your answer a bit, rather than be totally honest. The male ego can be a very fragile thing, and sometimes it needs some stroking. I think when he asked, he was feeling slightly insecure, and wanted to hear all the things about him. I wouldn't worry too much though, he's gotta realize that if he asks you something, he may not get the answers he's hoping for!

[NaNi]

I can slightly understand your boyfriend. When my SO keeps telling me which celebrities she likes... they don't look anything like me. At all. I can get a bit quiet about it, but I get back to normal pretty quickly. It's no use causing drama because of something like that.

[LadyMarchHare]

Well...He asked I might get slammed for this a little, but I think in this rare case, its better to fudge your answer a bit, rather than be totally honest. The male ego can be a very fragile thing, and sometimes it needs some stroking. I think when he asked, he was feeling slightly insecure, and wanted to hear all the things about him. I wouldn't worry too much though, he's gotta realize that if he asks you something, he may not get the answers he's hoping for!

I agree with this and will add on it happens with women too. I've known some of my female friends in the past getting their knickers in a knot because they ask the same thing and get answers that aren't even close to what they are or even specific celebrities and they get upset.

Though I remember when this conversation came up between my SO and I he got a bit bent out of shape. He asked me what my type was and my reply was, "I have a type?" Which was an honest answer, from about 13/14 till I was 20 I was asexual and had prepared myself for a life of never dating or marrying or what have you. Only thing I can ever say I like in a guy to call it a turn-on is his ability to make me laugh, which my SO does. But he still got pretty unhappy that I was supposedly withholding something because "everyone has a type". Didn't help that my next question was "and this matters why? I'm with you."

Ah the joys of being blunt.

[nicole]

My SO got upset when he asked me what my type was. I honestly don't have one- none of the boys I have dated look remotely similar. He thought because I said "I don't have one, I just like to date guys who can make me laugh", that I was withholding my feelings and opinions or something. But when I asked him, he didn't have a type either really, just vague stuff like "nice legs" what makes legs nice pray tell???

The male ego is easily bruised, and as you didn't describe some of his attributes as your "type", it probably made him feel insecure. Just reassure him of his qualities and what you love about him- honestly, if he were perfect, wouldn't that be a bit intimidating??

[we'reunderthesamesky]

Just tell him "for you I'll make an exception". :P

[leonsfangirl]

It does sound he was fishing for reassurance, which we all do from time to time. I'd try and reassure him now and if the topic ever comes up again tell him the things that he does/the way he is that you love. Woman aren't the only ones who need to be told how special they are.

[Micah]

I never understood why people ask questions they don't want to hear the answers to. But I agree with others that you need to stroke his ego a little bit and concentrate on the qualities that he has. Sounds like he needs a little bit of a confidence boost.

[WakeUpSusie]

Tell him that finding musicians and men in uniform attractive are pretty much standard for all women

[Rosebud]

Personally, I can understand your SO's frustrations. When I ask my boyfriend what turns him on, I'm meaning it in regards to ME, as in, what can I personally do for him that he thinks is particularly sexy. Same as when I answer the question for him. It's not really fair of me to answer that blonde surfer dudes are my thing (which they aren't, just an example here) when I'd know there's an extremely slim chace of his ever turning into a guy like that. So I'll answer the question keeping in mind who my boyfriend is, since after all, I would hope everyone would be able to find something about their SO that turns them on!