Announcement

**cartoonartist** · May 5, 2011, 03:26 AM

Perhaps start playing some games with him? Find something new you guys can share :3 Now (and somehow I feel guilty for saying this XD) Whenever I feel Don is getting a bit bored, I bring up something we usually like to do together, play a game online or continue writing our story together (he writes a short paragraph and then I do x3). I find out little things about him (like that he's secretly one big softie, or that he likes milk... a lot.) and for the next few days we talk about what happened in the game or what parts we like about the story chapter we just wrote together

**LadyMarchHare** · May 5, 2011, 03:36 AM

Perhaps instead of trying to force subjects you guys could cut back your skype sessions from every day to every other day or just 2-3 times a week. That way you build up a natural list of things to talk about from what you do on the days you don't skype with him. You don't need to tell him every moment of your day but if you went out and heard something funny or saw something that made you think of him you could tell him about it later and discuss it.

I'm shy myself and I remember the first couple of skype sessions we had, I was so nervous I would fiddle with things or generally ignore the computer and mess around with what was on my desk, what was in the cabinet next to me, whatever. Instead of getting upset my boyfriend would just ask me to show him what was in my hand and what I was doing with it. If you're still having trouble saying much to him or talking at all, maybe try thinking up questions you want to ask him while you're not busy and then use them as a prompt to get talking and it'll give you incentive to open your mouth more and have a level of assertiveness. Asking questions are fine when you want to get to know them, but if you guys have any sort of shared hobby/interest/passion having an actual discussion or even debate is better not only for your shyness, but it's time better spent.

But honestly I think it might be better to cut down on the skyping whether it's for how long you do it or when, such as not every day.

**JEREIANEDREI** · May 5, 2011, 04:05 AM

same as our situation...now my SO is not being fun of chatting with me in skype everyday...I feel that he is totally bored,,that's why there are times that he comes to the point that he will hang it up,,and not talk to me...then after like five to 6 hours he will open his skype,,and send me a message saying HI POOPS...thats how he called me...and then we will talk,,and he will sleep...hayyy being away for 8800 miles and having 16hrs. time difference,,,drivin' me crazy..but I know much especially with him..I misses him so much...but I know that there are times that maybe your SO needs the so called space,,maybe he wants to feel the excitement of missing you....however on my part,,it makes me feel sad..coz Im too sensitive and emotional....well goodluck to us!...hope we can surpass this new stages of our relationship with our SO's...

**leonsfangirl** · May 5, 2011, 04:12 AM

My SO and I went through a period of that on the phone, I'm quite shy and more of a listener than a talker. I asked my SO to think of some questions to ask me when i went quiet, it forced me to talk and brought up other topics that we hadn't talked about yet and it's made a big difference.
Also like LadyMarchHare said, cut back a little on Skype, give each other time to give you something to talk about and cartoonartist's advice about playing games together is great, there are a few programmes around that you can use to cam and play games at the same time.

**NaNi** · May 5, 2011, 06:26 AM

Yeah, cut down the talking time a bit. Every day is quite a lot, especially if you don't know what to say. My SO and I are only able to talk once a week now and there's always something to talk about.

But other than that you could browse the internet and talk about interesting things you read or play online games together.

**Rugger** · May 5, 2011, 06:30 AM

As someone suggested, You could play games. My SO and I occasionally play scrabble or battleship online against each other. We also play 20 questions via text so we have more things to talk about. We watch TV "together" ( the same channel at the same time, while talking) so the silence isn't awkward.

**princessmeg1328** · May 5, 2011, 07:37 AM

I think this a phase every relationship goes through at some point in time. It happens every so often to my SO and me. We only talk three times a week which helps a lot, though. It gives more to talk about, and it really helps me since I'm the quieter one in the relationship. My SO always seems to be able to talk about something that happened either at work or in the news or something. Like some of the other girls said, play games together, look at interesting web pages, talk about a common hobby, watch a movie together, etc. You could even make it into a competition, like who can find the best gamer tips page if y'all are into that. The possibilities of things to do are endless. There's also a page with 99 things to do in an LDR on the main website. Try looking at that for ideas. Even if you're not talking, at least you're doing something together.

**13000km** · May 5, 2011, 09:16 AM

Skyping every day is a privilege, I don't think you need to give that up! I'm 15 hours ahead of my boyfriend and we skype every day for as long as we can (30mins to hours upon hours). Like in a close distance relationship, we're not talking every second we're with each other. We talk some about our day, discuss some stuff we come across on the internets, do stuff together like have a meal or take a nap, play games, or do things individually. I'm working full time and he's a student, so there's work and homework to do, we practice music individually, surf the net, watch tv, etc.

Think of a skype session to be less like a phone call and more like spending time with your partner. For example, if both of you were in a room together, one of you reading and the other watching tv, neither of you are going to leave the house because there is no conversation going on. You know how sometimes you're doing something and you randomly think of him or something you want to tell/ask him? If he's right there on skype you can tell him what it is before you forget. (:

**LostInLove** · May 5, 2011, 01:18 PM

Either cut down on skyping, or start playing games with him. There's a list somewhere in the "99 things to do" list of verbal games you could play, or find a website like pogo.com where you can play online games together. Another option is to find news articles to discuss, or pick something out of your day to ask his opinion on (if you actually ask his opinion, he can't just say "okay"). Probably a combination of several of these things would work best, but experiment and see what works best for you.

**kiara_silver** · May 5, 2011, 02:40 PM

been there, i get paranoid when this happens sometimes, like maybe im not intresting enough. Im going to lose his intrest. I sometimes even apoligize to him saying sorry im bieng dull. He always says im not but we do sometimes have moments where we wont talk for a bit, just both be on. but i think thats normal, as long as you do communicate, and talk about the important things, sometimes there just isn't much to say or do. Those are the moments that if you were together in person you would just cuddle and laze around watching a movie or not do much. I don't skype as much, but when i did i was pretty shy, and sometimes wouldn't talk much cause i didn't know what to say, but if you are on skype u could always just do your own thing, maybe watch a movie together, or eat or read or whatever but its like he's there, so it makes u feel closer. a few times Nathan would go on while he was working, so that was good because even tho we werent having a full on conversation i felt close to him, he would work and then randomly tell me he loves me and just give me butterflys and he would continue working while i was online on a dif site. Just relax, no worries most relationships have a sorta slow period, you love your SO and he loves you so need to fear.

**Jonesonaboat** · May 5, 2011, 07:55 PM

I usually start talking about our future plans when things start getting quiet. Even though we've talked about them a million times before every time we talk about it we will find something else to go into detail about that we haven't done before. Or think up new things to do together. Once we get started that usually gets us carried away for hours and hours.

It does help mind, that I could talk for Britain.
Sometimes I'm surprised he doesn't just go "Okay Rachel..would you just shut up!!". If he talked as much as I did I'd be telling him to give his tongue a rest.

**snow_girl** · May 5, 2011, 08:03 PM

My SO and I have had the same problem. We've been able to skype a little more lately but that leaves a lot less to talk about. He said it's hard cause when you are physically together you can just be in the same room and don't have to always say something but when you've both taken the time to skype you feel like there should be constant conversation. We tend to keep our skype dates short and sweet unless it has been awhile and have lots to talk about. Don't force it if its not happening.

**XX, Lexi** · May 5, 2011, 09:21 PM

Usually when that happens with me and my SO (we skype everyday to), I usually find stuff on the internet to talk about with him, listen to music he has playing in his room or just kind of enjoy the silence. I hate it too and I always thought it was awkward, but now I just kind of enjoy it because I get to watch him just surf on the internet when he's not talking to me. Silence doesn't really have to be awkward or maybe (if you're like me), it can just kind of be in your head.
Games are also fun to play too and so are just finding questions on the internet. Playing the 'What if?' game is what me and my old SO used to do. n.n

**jennyjellybeans** · May 6, 2011, 07:08 PM

Hey everyone again!

Just wanted to update! I read all your replies and think you all gave me great advice! Especially on the Skype everyday thing, I know that's really actually great to be able to talk to him so much especially when lots of others don't get that type of chance, but a break from Skype might actually help us with the communication problems. Luckily! My SO is going to be gone on a trip for 2 weeks and we'll have probably limited conversation throughout that time. As much as it DOES bum me out that he'll be gone for that long, I'm also rather happy about it simply because my school year is ending and I'm trying to cram in all my school stuff I still have to do! So I get to finish up school for the year and he gets a lovely 2 week vacation! I'm pretty sure he'll have alot to talk about when he gets back.

As for the games, me and my SO actually play video games together ALOT (seeing how we met through Playstation Network on PS3 lol.), thanks to all the problems with Playstation being down though we haven't been able to do that, but he's looked into PC games we can play together.

I'm still alittle worried about our Skype calls being awkward or quiet, but at least the break apart will give us some time to ourselves to get some new stuff to talk about!

And just yesterday we had a really nice conversation, it ended up getting silent towards the end, but it was at least good at the beginning.

Anyway, thank you so much everyone! I really appreciate you all giving advice. <3
I'm still new to this Long Distance Stuff, so I need the advice. ;D

Announcement

Having trouble communicating with my LDR BF

Having trouble communicating with my LDR BF

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment