Does it MATTERS if your SO...telling you things EVERY NOW AND THEN?....

[JEREIANEDREI]

This past few weeks my SO is not telling me things about him or when he will going to somewhere,,,I will just see a post in his wall in fb,his status shows that he went somewhere and enjoying with some friends...it makes me feel upset...I feel being totally ignored,,,but when I will open it with him and ask him,,he will just change the topic or the worst he will just GET MAD AND HANG UP our calls....

am i being too bad?,,,or being too sensitive?...am I being too childish?

any advice please......

[LadyMarchHare]

Everyone has a right to a certain amount of privacy, even in a relationship. He is not required to tell you where he goes or what plans he has, though it is considered common courtesy especially if you're going to be waiting around for them.

From all your threads and posts, I have to say you come off as very needy and clingy and that's almost always a turn-off. I understand you miss him and need to feel reassured and loved, but there's only so much you can do and so much you can ask from them before it becomes overkill.

[JEREIANEDREI]

thanks for your opinion LADYMARCHHARE...I understand you,,i know each one of us has its own opinion and point of view...
well in my part I do believe in the so called courtesy..and respect for one another..THATS WHY I myself I make it a point that If I'm doing such a thing I keep on telling him..is because I know he deserve to know it....its my sign of RESPECT to him since were already commitTed and ENGAGED....well I'm not asking too much from him though..just a few words of letting me know whats going on I'd be happy for that....THAT'S WE FILIPINA ARE!...WE ARE VERY CONSIDERATE of things were doing especially if this has something to do with THE WORD CONSIDERATION...

for I do believe in the saying,.."DONT DO UNTO OTHERS,WHAT YOU DONT WANT OTHERS DO TO YOU"....

[JEREIANEDREI]

i RESPECT and LOVE MY MAN...and I know that he needs privacy too...

anyways thanks for the opinion I do appreciated it!

[LadyMarchHare]

I understand you find it common courtesy to know what he's doing, but do you honestly think he needs to know where you are that often? If my guy was having me tell him when I'd be going out or who I was with, I would call that a control issue as well as a trust issue. If I am going somewhere when I am talking to him then yes I will tell him and give him a time estimate of when I will be back, but it's not exactly a need to know subject.

Seriously I don't mean to sound rude but you sound half way to hysterical in every post you make and you flop between bashing your guy and men in general to praising God that you're with him and how much you love him. We're here to help you, but if you have some sort of emotional problem we can't do much for you except suggest some form of counseling.

[Micah]

I don't know my SO's every move, nor do I think he is obligated to let me know his every move. We usually talk on the phone once a day and we will usually give each other a rundown of what our days have been like, but I don't consult him before going somewhere and he doesn't consult me. We try to live our lives independently, but we do keep each other informed on daily happenings just for general conversation.

That being said... your SO probably should not be hanging up on you if you ask him about where he has been, but it sounds to me like he might need some space. Maybe if you give him a few days with no communication and some space (as hard as it would be) it would be just what you two need to get back on track.

[kiara_silver]

Lol this reminds me of when i was curious. I like to know where he's at or what he's doing in his life, but i know to much questions or constant needing to know what he's doing will suffercate him. A few times i would ask where's he going, and he would reply "Out" lol so i would say okay and drop it, cause i trust him and know if its worth sharing he would tell me. I get the constant curiosity tho, who doesn't want to know whats going on in there SO's life? But there is a thing of privacy and space. Just relax, you trust him right? So no worries. If he wants to tell you he will, and if it really bugs you, just wait a bit, give him space for awhile, and then bring it up to him, let him know how you feel, but try to see his side too.

[JEREIANEDREI]

well thanks for the advice guys.i do respect your opinions...well I need some advices thats why I'm posting it..thank you though..being all alone most of the times at home and havin' some serious problems..can affect you...I know I'm a bit sounds weird for some of you with my post..but Im just being natural,,and not exAggerated....i maybe as not as tough as you guys...but I still knew myself...well thanks for the advices...I respect your opinions

[JEREIANEDREI]

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU....FOR THE ADVICES..I APPRECIATED IT

[princessmeg1328]

I think it's normal to want to know what your SO is doing at all times, but I think that you have to allow your SO some privacy if he needs it. If you ask him and he gets upset, I think you need to find out why he's getting upset. I think that's the bigger problem here unless you're constantly asking what he's doing. Maybe instead of asking him what he did, ask him earlier in the day what he has planned for the day. I understand that you think it's a respect thing to know what your SO is doing at all times, but you need to give him some space. Maybe that's how he interprets respect. Talk to him about it.

[rivi87]

I think Its a common courtesy to a point. I mean me and My SO text all day..and just outline what the other is doing during that. At the same time I dont ask him who he's with or how long he's going to be there. He usuallly will text and be like "headed to work..oh boy" or "gonna go hang with friends. I think as long as its not obsessive it's ok to know what he's doing. Just done berade him asking for the 5 Ws lol (and I dont mean you are Diane).

[JEREIANEDREI]

thanks princessmeg...actually i dont usually ask him WHAT did he do?,WHERE did he go?..Im always waiting for him to open it to me...but the saddess part is he dont even tell me...I feel being ignored...I od give him his space...I dont call him either in his phone because thats what he said,,thats why I'm just waiting fro him to message me that he is online...

well thanks guys

[Frank]

Maybe if you just communicate to him that you want to be more of a part of his life, and to do that, you want to see what he does so you can pretend you are there with him? You might like to know every little thing because it makes you feel like you are right there with him close distance.
I don't think I have to tell Michelle everything, but I definitely like to keep her informed in anything important, funny, cool, or interesting.

[JEREIANEDREI]

thanks rivi8 and Frank....thanks for understanding me....thats what exactly i mean..all i want is to be appreciated even a lil...coz through letting me know whats going on..makes me feel that Im with him...that were just near from each other..that though were miles apart..still the bonding that we have is intact...I dont ask him,,,i want his initiative to do it...coz I respect and TRUST him...I love my man a lot....

thanks for the advices,,and for thinking Im being exaggerated....well I cant please everybody....

[Lissy]

Have you thought about trying to change your wording a little bit when you're asking after him? I don't know how you phrase things when you talk to him about what he's up to, but maybe rather than asking him directly what he is doing/who he is with/what his plans are, it would be a little less overwhelming if you just sent a text or message that said something along the lines of, "Hey, sweetie, I miss you and was just thinking about you. What are you up to? I hope you're having a good day." Naturally, this wouldn't work if you were doing it constantly, but I think it's understandable to wonder what your SO is up to sometimes, not necessarily out of a need for control, but just because you love and miss them and think about how they're doing.