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She wants to wait but i dont know why.....

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    She wants to wait but i dont know why.....

    Me and my girlfriend have been in a LDR for 5 months going on 6 and everything was golden between me and her in the fact that we are madly in love with each other we talk every day and all that and i know she's the one for me. But yesterday she didnt want to be in a relationship with me anymore because of the distance and such but she loves me with all her heart and wants to marry me. She won't go with another man because she only wants me but i dont understand why she wont want to be with me right now in this long distance relationship any advice on what to do or what to say to her? i really do love her and im willing to wait for her no matter the time

    #2
    Have you talked to her about it? Perhaps she's afraid of the commitment that it takes to be in a LDR or anything of the sort? Maybe she can't handle the things that comes with being in one?

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      #3
      A lot of people aren't aware of how hard it is to maintain a long distance relationship until they're in one and become emotionally invested in the other person. As already mentioned the best way to figure out what's going on with her is to talk with her and ask her exactly how the distance is affecting her, what is bothering her, and then you two can work on finding a solution or compromise together. However, if she honestly does not want to maintain the relationship so long as you're long distance, do not try to force it on her as it will do neither of you any good to have her in a relationship where she is unhappy and will, in turn, make you unhappy. Love is a great thing, but love cannot fix everything nor can it bear the entire weight of a relationship alone.

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        #4
        i told her i cant be with another woman because of how strongly i feel for her and shes the same way with other men, she wants only me. Id go see her right now if i could just with work, schooling and family for the both of us i cant . Should i just wait for her to be ready wait for her to be with me in person? and she said shes scared of drifting apart from me since she'll be busy all throughout the summer :/ which i dont want obviously so any help on how to make sure that wont happen? and the only time soon where'd id be able to see her would be in the winter because of the same reasons i cant see her now

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          #5
          In your profile says that you two only live 96 miles apart, and you two haven't met in person. Maybe it is better to go see each other to be sure about the relationship? Maybe she isn't sure about the LDR and doesn't want to give so much hope when you two haven't met yet.
          Try to talk to her again because 96 miles isn't that far (compare to most people in this forum)... you can at least use one of your weekend to visit her and meet her in person. Not to be mean, but this is just an advice. Good luck
          Last edited by LotusWing; May 7, 2011, 04:39 PM.

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            #6
            Originally posted by habsfan View Post
            i told her i cant be with another woman because of how strongly i feel for her and shes the same way with other men, she wants only me. Id go see her right now if i could just with work, schooling and family for the both of us i cant . Should i just wait for her to be ready wait for her to be with me in person? and she said shes scared of drifting apart from me since she'll be busy all throughout the summer :/ which i dont want obviously so any help on how to make sure that wont happen? and the only time soon where'd id be able to see her would be in the winter because of the same reasons i cant see her now
            Just because you two revert the relationship back to just friendship doesn't mean it's mandatory that you both see other people. Yes it gives you that option but if you honestly don't want to date someone else you don't have to. The problem here isn't the factor of loyalty, it's the fact that she can't see herself dealing with the fact you're, if the 96 miles part is correct, like 2 hours away from each other. Yes compared to a lot of folks (myself included) 96 miles is nothing but I know when you don't have the time or money for gas it's hard to see someone very often. For 5 years I lived 75 miles away from my best friend and I only got to see her maybe once every 6 months because of factors like work, school, and gas.

            As for the fear of drifting apart, if you BOTH make conscious effort to communicate even if you're sending letters in the mail instead of texting or calling or IMing each other then you won't drift apart. But again you both have to work at these things and cannot pull away from the other due to emotional problems or what have you. Communication is probably the biggest factor in a long distance relationship aside from trust. So if you two can manage to set up times where you both have the time to talk on the phone for an hour or have a "date night" where you watch movies together over the internet and just generally keep up with one another then you can get through the difficulty and time will pass much quicker until you can go visit.

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              #7
              thanks for the help on that one i know 96 miles isnt a large distance considering some LDR's people are in which are thousands of miles apart but yes its the time issue (when im off school she has work or family and when shes available im working or other stuff that gets in the way) and with gas prices the way they are now ($1.35/L, i live in canada) it's hard to drive that distance, but im going to take the advice you guys gave me and talk to her about everything, im sure shed like to do stuff to not drift apart and i know im gonna da as much as i can to not let that happen...Thanks to everyone for the help on this one it really made me think things over

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