I should be excited...?

[snow_girl]

I am closing the distance in one month, I should be bouncing off the walls but I am freaking out. I love my bf dearly but I've got all this stuff running through my head.

I'll be living with him which feels like a huge step. I stayed with him for a month and he stayed here with me and my parents for 5 months so living with him shouldn't be a huge deal but this time I feel like its the real thing. I always told myself that I wouldn't live with a bf until we were engaged but under these circumstances its a little different.

I'm scared to lose my independence. For the last 5 months I've been free to come and go as I please, hang out with whoever. I worry about going from that to having him around 24/7 (minus him working) It wasn't so bad when he was here but I didn't really feel that I could just go into my room and close the door leaving him on the other side. He has friends and plays sports weekly so I know he won't always be there but I don't know.

Things are good here at home. The last time I went away for a year everything was awesome when I left, I had lots of friends and was happy at my jobs...but when I came back I had lost all but a couple friends. I tried contacting them but they didn't seem interested. I know that they were probably not good friends to begin with but I still couldn't help think that if I never went away we'd still be friends. I'm sure the friends that are still sticking with me will still be here when I get back but I still can't help but think it.

It feels like one chapter is closing and the a new one is starting...but that the new one starting is the rest of my life (marriage, kids) which I am not ready at all for. I'm sure if I told him this he wouldn't be ready for that stuff either. I know as soon as I see him at the airport all these thoughts will disappear but for now I am left to freak out.

Are these legit worries or am I being irrational? Does anyone else have similar worries before closing the distance?

[LadyMarchHare]

I think it's completely normal to feel anxious about such a step even though it's ultimately what you want. I know when I think about moving, I'm always worried about rather menial things like how am I going to find a doctor and other things I'm used to already knowing who and where to go for these things. It's a disruption of what you've come to know as normal and it can rattle you. Just take it a day at a time and don't sweat the future just yet. You're already taking a big step, don't try to take it and another big one at the same time, you'll hurt your leg.

[Mara]

I think everyone worries about these things.

Closing the distance is a big step and for some, the beginning of huge changes in life.

My SO and I were having more serious talks about closing the distance. It's not so long now. Seven months or so. When we were talking he kept using the word "settling down" and I realized that's what we're doing. We are going to move some place and make it our home and then, before you know it, we'll be married and have kids....and I almost had a panic attack. Not because all of that isn't what I want and not because it won't make me extremely happy, it's just scary to face the rest of your life and think this is it.

When we close the distance, it is the beginning of all of that. If that isn't scary I don't know what is.

[Silviar]

When people first move in together, there's a lot of stuff that gets done together naturally, and there's a definite glued to the hip factor. However, once you've had time to adjust and get life rolling, you'll naturally make friends through things without him and start growing a life outside of the one that he has. Your independence ultimately will come with time and your assertions that you may need a little space. Yes, you were long distance, but you're not now, and life goes on how you want to live it. You can choose how independent you want to be - and it's important to do things by yourself, so that you feel like an individual as well as part of a couple.

It's sometimes hard at first for both parts of the couple, of course, because being in an LDR means having missed all that time together, so there's some catching up to do. But you will sink into your own relationship and life rhythms. Just make sure your partner understands that. Sometimes we get so close to closing the distance that we forget that life goes on.

It's hard and scary moving, period, let alone with so many big things to follow down the road, but just remember - those big things come amidst all of the little things. So enjoy your life. You can make it what you want it to be still while living together. And if sometimes you need to retreat to your woman cave, then explain so.

[Micah]

I think your worries are legit ones and I don't think you are being irrational. We all fear the unknown and you never know how things are going to go until you actually get there. I can relate to your mind racing because I am also moving in about a month. I am excited about 50% of the time and freaking out about 50% of the time. It's all because it is such a big change and a big step to take, even if you know you want to do it. There's nothing wrong with being nervous, worrying about leaving people behind, and wondering what life will be like in your new place. I am sure once you are there for a while you will get into the groove of things and hopefully all the things you were thinking so much about currently will fade away.