T and I have never had a fight. We just accept that we have different opinions on things. There's no reason to argue because we aren't going to change each other's minds.
Announcement
Collapse
No announcement yet.
First Fight?
Collapse
X
-
"We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love " ~ Theodore Seuss Geisel.
-
Newbie! :D
- Mar 2010
- 1219
- Southern California
- Northern California
- 303
- January 6, 2009
- Yes
- Sloppy Joe
- Send PM
Comment
-
My SO and I are probably a bit different than some couples here. We were forced to live together before we knew each other (because I was a homestay student in his parents house) and to be honest we didn't get along that well from the beginning. We didn't fight though, but we had child-like arguments and everyone around us said we sounded like siblings. Our first "big argument" was after we had been dating for 4 months.
Our first actual "fight" was when we had been dating for 8 months.
Actually we're one of those couples who argue a lot... we've only had one actual fight ... but many, many arguments. Mostly on my side, because I'm unfortunately a bit bitchy when it comes to things I do not agree of.
My SO though has big patience when it comes to me, and our arguments always have the same pattern. First he tries to avoid the argument, then he argues a bit with me, then I ignore him and then he starts to pull me in close and hug me, because he knows that if he does this, I'll give up being angry with him after some time.
Of course he can't do that on skype... which gives us problems, so our arguments becomes longer and more complicated.
Originally posted by Caitlin2009 View Posthonestly i cant remember what it was about, most the arguments we have are swept under the rug and forgotton about after we have them, i cant remember what the first one was about. and honestly all those who said you never have argued with your SO its not a good thing, i actually read up in a few places that if a couple argues(not everyday of course) but its the most healthy relationship you can have because ok you may not like it but it solves things that are in the air and stuff, and they say a couple that never argue is the least likely to work after awhile, so get arguing people lol........and you can look it up if you dont believe me
I don't mind our arguments, because we never insult each other, our cultural differences just makes us disagree a lot.
Comment
-
I think the definition of "fight" needs to be clarified as i don't buy that there are so many people who have never had a fight.
My relationship with my SO has been pretty turbulent up until we actually decided to become a couple officially in October. Since then we've been a lot better. But in the 2 and a half years leading up to that we used to argue/fight/have disagreements...every few weeks but it wasn't about anything major and was out of pure frustration with our situation (we loved each other but i was married and the distance didn't help) and looking back we picked fights to try and give us reason to walk away and not feel guilty (obviously, we failed miserably at it and as it wasn't what we really wanted it never worked)
No idea what our first ever fight was about but the last one about a month/2 months ago and that was over a slump in contact on both our parts (time difference is not fun!!) but we talked it out and have it sorted.
It's important to have disagreements/fights or whatever you wanna call them. You clear the air, learn about your partner and yourself and you make your bond stronger.
I think distance would cause more fights, especially if you communicate alot via the written word as you don't get the physical cues you would in person. Granted you don't get the "you forgot to take the trash out" fight but theres more misunderstandings in it's place.As long as there is air in my lungs... there is a chance
Comment
-
My man and I have been together for 10 months, close distance for 4/5 months. We've never had an argument. I've been mad, pissed off and annoyed with him but we've just talked it out and problems solved.
We've disagreed on things but again, we just talk them out. We've never faught or argued. With him being a paramedic, he's so calm and never looses his rag. So anything we don't see eye to eye on, we'll just sit down and talk it out together, and he wont have it anyway. I love that too.
Comment
-
Originally posted by milaya View PostMy SO and I are probably a bit different than some couples here. We were forced to live together before we knew each other (because I was a homestay student in his parents house) and to be honest we didn't get along that well from the beginning. We didn't fight though, but we had child-like arguments and everyone around us said we sounded like siblings. Our first "big argument" was after we had been dating for 4 months.
Our first actual "fight" was when we had been dating for 8 months.
Actually we're one of those couples who argue a lot... we've only had one actual fight ... but many, many arguments. Mostly on my side, because I'm unfortunately a bit bitchy when it comes to things I do not agree of.
My SO though has big patience when it comes to me, and our arguments always have the same pattern. First he tries to avoid the argument, then he argues a bit with me, then I ignore him and then he starts to pull me in close and hug me, because he knows that if he does this, I'll give up being angry with him after some time.
Of course he can't do that on skype... which gives us problems, so our arguments becomes longer and more complicated.
That's good... since like I wrote my SO and I have argued a lot during our relationship XD
I don't mind our arguments, because we never insult each other, our cultural differences just makes us disagree a lot.
Comment
-
Originally posted by Caitlin2009 View Postyeah never insult each other or call each other names, if i feel like im about to do that i will stop and count. i have wanted to call her names when im royally angry at her but i dont, you dont get anywhere with that except hurting someones feelings so before i do that i normally stop and count for a few minutes
Comment
-
I actually haven't had a fight with him yet ^^; We usually just talk stuff out if one of us doesn't like the way things are going. The closest things to fights happened before we were officially together when he had asked if I would be his (not his girlfriend, just "his") and if he could be mine and then he'd get really freaked out a few months later and he'd say, "I want to go back to the way things were. I love you but I don't think I'm ready. You're the right girl but this isn't the right time, we should just be friends." but he'd want to continue doing everything we had been doing ^^; He's a little silly that way. Then again, the only thing that came out of that was me crying o.O
Since then, since we've met and become official, there have been a few times where one of us is annoyed but we talk about it, we've never fought that I know of. so... I don't think you're weird or anything ^^;
Comment
-
Sorry, guys, I can't really give you a clearer definition of what a "fight" would be. ^^; I think that's whatever you think it is. If you thought your first disagreement over something silly was your first fight, then that's a fight to you, but if you think a fight is something much more significant, then...yeah, you see where I'm going with this. It's probably more of an opinion. I was just using it as a general term.
I can agree that some arguing is normal and healthy in any relationship (unless it's to extreme excess, obviously), but I don't feel like I need to have disagreements with my SO to clear the air. We get through any problems just by discussing them. Sometimes, someone gets upset/ends up in tears, but that's inevitable, as I'm sure an eventual argument will be. I was just trying to gauge the normalcy of never having really had a fight, and now I see that it's not uncommon. I guess the couples that I'm around just fight a lot. Haha.
Lots of interesting responses. :3
Comment
Comment