JEALOUSY...How can we get over it?

[JEREIANEDREI]

Since in LDR relationship,.JEALOUSY is one factor that its hard to get over...we're just HUman...and being away to our SO...sometimes we can't help but bein' JEALOUS...especially if there are PEOPLE WHO ARE TRYIN' TO RUIN YOUR RELATIONSHIP,,,

....I TRUST MY SO A LOT AND I LOVE HIM....but not THAT BITCH WHO IS BUGGING HIM!

[NaNi]

Is she "bugging him" online or in person? My SO had this weird stalker once and she drove me completely insane. Just stay away from people who are off the market!!! Argh.

[rivi87]

trust me I have had the same problem in my relationship. My SO is very attractive and not lacking for attention. I know theres been a few times girls posted on his wall something a lil too nice..and I'm not a fan of it. Typically, I am definitely not jealous and trust him whole heartedly..but I am with you that when other girls post on his wall things like that it bugs me :P.

But then I look at the sweet texts he's sent me..the gifts he's given me (like my ring he got me for Vday) and the sweet stuff he's left on my wall and I know he is all mine!!

[JEREIANEDREI]

she's bugging my SO online...I proved it few times as I opened my SO's fb..coz we used to have the same password in any web page we joined...I hate that bitch coz as one time I pretend to be my SO,,then I chatted with her,,she is so flirty,,as she said she's so sad to know that he is engaged,.she said she's in vegas,,just near from him...according to that bitch my SO and she had met in some house party in LA...I'm pissed off coz she keep on messaging my man..telling she wanna be his friend..and if he had time maybe they can meet in vegas....f&** her!...
....I felt malicious ,,I TRUST MY SO...but I cant help but think...coz he'll be goin to VEGAS this comin' JUNE...
I know guys weakness,,are FLIRTY BITCHES......

[XX, Lexi]

My SO has a really friendly personality and i know that girls tend to hit on him because he is so sweet and just seems to warm up to a person instantly. So I tend to get jealous a lot, especially when his ex girlfriend starts to bother him. But while he also reassures me that there's no one else for him but me, I also have to reassure myself that if he's with me and not those other girls, I mean a whole lot more to him than they do. Reading his sweet texts helps too.

[JEREIANEDREI]

My SO has a really friendly personality and i know that girls tend to hit on him because he is so sweet and just seems to warm up to a person instantly. So I tend to get jealous a lot, especially when his ex girlfriend starts to bother him. But while he also reassures me that there's no one else for him but me, I also have to reassure myself that if he's with me and not those other girls, I mean a whole lot more to him than they do. Reading his sweet texts helps too.

thankx...i understand...but my SO is different he is not vocal,,not sending sweet messages...he said he's not like a typical guy...but I know I feel that He LOVES me

[Micah]

You have just got to have trust in yourself and your relationship. I think a small bit of jealousy is normal.

My guy is a state trooper and a lot of ladies like a man in uniform. He's also really friendly which can be misconstrued as flirting. Whenever I go out with him and his trooper friends, the women swarm around them and totally stroke their cop egos. I don't really get it at all since I am not a "buckle bunny", and I can get somewhat jealous sometimes. I usually just watch from a distance and think what idiots they are and how they are wasting their time. Then, he makes fun of me later and says I had a ticked off look on my face. I trust him completely. Sometimes I think he's totally clueless that women are flirting with him, though! I am sure that women flirt with him on the job too. There's not much you can do to stop that, but I have trust that my SO doesn't entertain their flirting.

[we'reunderthesamesky]

I'm not only emotional but also a jealous type too. Yet I seldom get or not at all jealous with my SO's friends or his girl bestfriend. He tells me things about them so also I get informed. Mostly, I make fun or tease him about his girl bestie until he gets mad and accuse me of giving him away. In a little way, jealousy is a good thing for me.
I only get jealous with his school and work.

[NaNi]

she's bugging my SO online...I proved it few times as I opened my SO's fb..coz we used to have the same password in any web page we joined...I hate that bitch coz as one time I pretend to be my SO,,then I chatted with her,,she is so flirty,,as she said she's so sad to know that he is engaged,.she said she's in vegas,,just near from him...according to that bitch my SO and she had met in some house party in LA...I'm pissed off coz she keep on messaging my man..telling she wanna be his friend..and if he had time maybe they can meet in vegas....f&** her!...
....I felt malicious ,,I TRUST MY SO...but I cant help but think...coz he'll be goin to VEGAS this comin' JUNE...
I know guys weakness,,are FLIRTY BITCHES......

Are they friends or something? Or is she just some random girl on his list? If so, couldn't he just delete her? The problem would be solved then. Oh and don't worry about his trip to Las Vegas. He just doesn't have to meet up with her.

[LadyMarchHare]

Are they friends or something? Or is she just some random girl on his list? If so, couldn't he just delete her? The problem would be solved then. Oh and don't worry about his trip to Las Vegas. He just doesn't have to meet up with her.

I agree with this. If they're friends he needs to ask her to please respect that he is not available. If he doesn't really know her aside from the one party or maybe through another friend, there's no harm in asking him to delete her and cut contact because there's really nothing to be gained if all she's doing is making thinly-veiled advances at him and it's upsetting you. As well just because they're going to be in the same city doesn't mean they'll find each other like magnets. It's a big city with lots of people all of the time.

Personally I don't agree with the sentence "I trust my boyfriend/girlfriend but I don't trust the person they're talking to" because in the end you're not trusting your SO because you're of the mind this other person is going to corrupt them which, ultimately means you believe they're weak enough to fall for their tricks. And if they are, are you happy about being right? No, you're not. Now if the person is honestly just harassing them and making them unhappy instead of trying to get in your SO's pants I can understand that. But when it's a matter of possible temptation in the end you can say you trust them until the cows come home and turn blue, technically it's not trust.

Also I'm a tad uncomfortable about the fact you log on to his account just because you have the same password. To me that's an invasion of privacy even if he knows about it.

[kteire]

I am not normally a jealous person at all... but this LDR has brought out any dormant jealousy that was inside me!!
There's one girl in particular I'm having a hard time with. I don't know if she's legitimately trying to get him, or if I'm just misinterpreting things...
But one time she posted on his wall about having left her shirt in his room, saying "did I mention it's in your ROOM??" one weekend when I know for a fact he was visiting his dad in Cork (he has two housemates who were having a party...). He purposely doesn't hang around her so much anymore, but the night before I landed in Dublin at 6:30am, his housemates were partying again and had her over. He went out to ask people to leave as it was 4am and he had to be up at 6, she snuck into his room and said she was planning to leave him notes on post-its. He wasn't impressed. She still makes me jealous, but as much as she annoys me, I agree with LadyMarchHare. I trust him, and I don't agree that I can say I trust him, but not her. Loic would do anything to keep from hurting me, and he's aaaall mine!!

Regardless of how well your guy knows that girl, I think it's reasonable to expect that he talk to her about some boundaries, and failing that, delete her from facebook. She's admitted she's sad he's engaged... that'd be enough to make me furious!!

[LadyMarchHare]

I am not normally a jealous person at all... but this LDR has brought out any dormant jealousy that was inside me!!
There's one girl in particular I'm having a hard time with. I don't know if she's legitimately trying to get him, or if I'm just misinterpreting things...
But one time she posted on his wall about having left her shirt in his room, saying "did I mention it's in your ROOM??" one weekend when I know for a fact he was visiting his dad in Cork (he has two housemates who were having a party...). He purposely doesn't hang around her so much anymore, but the night before I landed in Dublin at 6:30am, his housemates were partying again and had her over. He went out to ask people to leave as it was 4am and he had to be up at 6, she snuck into his room and said she was planning to leave him notes on post-its. He wasn't impressed. She still makes me jealous, but as much as she annoys me, I agree with LadyMarchHare. I trust him, and I don't agree that I can say I trust him, but not her. Loic would do anything to keep from hurting me, and he's aaaall mine!!

Regardless of how well your guy knows that girl, I think it's reasonable to expect that he talk to her about some boundaries, and failing that, delete her from facebook. She's admitted she's sad he's engaged... that'd be enough to make me furious!!

Personally if I saw a girl that desperate for my guy's attention I wouldn't even worry about her because desperation is not attractive, I know firsthand. My former best friend used the desperation tactic, throwing herself at any guy she thought was cute and flirted so heavily you would think it actually had a weight if put on a scale but all it did was drive guys far far away from her instead of in her bed. Same with my SO's former best friend/ex. She was desperate to get him back (this being before we began dating) and he always told me he would hide from her days at a time just to avoid going through that. Oh sure it's maddening when you know someone's looking to buy what isn't for sale or even rent but when they're like that unless your SO is a brand of sleazeball they're not going to go for the bait and their opinion of the girl is probably going to be low. It's just plain gross.

[JEREIANEDREI]

thanks guys....thanks for the advices....we'll all I can do to this is to TRUST and PRAY...