I shouldn't feel guilty, but I do.

[Silencedsongs]

My uncle died over the weekend.

We found out in the afternoon on Friday. My cousin found him on the ground of their front yard, and he was already.. gone. They tried to resuscitate him, but it was too late. It was thought to have been a massive heart attack... Since that Friday, we flew up the next day, and every day since there has been stressful, depressing, and agonizing.

This week was also the week of my finals, and I'm supposed to be taking them all tomorrow. We got back late Wednesday night... Since we've gotten back, my SO has been loving and attentive times 10 to what he was before. And even before, it was starting to be too much.. I understand he wants me to know he's here for me and that he cares and loves me. But I've already told him I'm stressed and just need to focus on one thing at a time. His "I love you" every 10-15 minutes, and descriptive posts of being 'lovey dovey' and romantic and trying to incite sexy-sexy time... It's driving me crazy. I had to log off, and I already told him I needed him to just make me laugh and to please not make anything emotional or heavy... It was just too much, and now I feel guilty since all he wanted to do was show me he loved me. But at the same time...

why can't he seem to respect that I need him to pull back a little bit?

[Mara]

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.

Question: were you blunt with your SO about needing some space? Maybe he just didn't understand exactly what you needed from him? I'd try talking to him again and tell him that you need some space right now and I'm sure he will understand.

[Rosebud]

I'm sorry for your loss. I understand what you're going through, I really do. I just lost my aunt 3 days ago. To be perfectly honest, if you need time away from your SO right now, flat out tell him and do what YOU need to do to mourn your loss, not worry about how your SO is feeling. If he loves you as much as he seems to, even if you aren't the nicest to him right now, he will understand. Some people don't want to be all lovey dovey at times like right now and you don't need to feel guilty for that. I agree with the above poster in simply being blunt with your needs right now and if your SO is being difficult then just take some time away from him. You have a lot on your mind right now, you don't need to be any more distracted by things like this.

Best of luck.

[Silencedsongs]

I'm sorry for your loss. I understand what you're going through, I really do. I just lost my aunt 3 days ago.

I'm sorry as well...

And yes, I've been pretty blunt with him, as I usually skirt around when I need some space. This was not one of those times.

[LadyMarchHare]

I think this is one of those times where stuff that's meant to be comforting and distracting in a good way becomes overbearing because while their intentions are pure (sans sexy time, I lose fem-boners pretty quick when I'm sad so I have no clue why he'd try that shit...) it's not what you as an individual need. And even with you being blunt and upfront about it, he may think it's the grief talking or you're putting on a brave face for him and aww that's sweet when really you'd like to take a skillet to his face. Grief is something nobody really knows how to handle, or at least not well. People say do this, you want something else, it becomes a conflict.

If he's latching on a little too much for your tastes right now, tell him nicely that you appreciate the effort but it's not really helping you and you would appreciate some breathing room. Turn off your phone and set your IM statuses to invisible or away if you have to, if he takes offense that's his problem. He'll unwad his panties later when you're ready to talk again.