im new, and depressed and just beginning a LDR I think..help.

[kbobo]

My story starts out by us meeting from a dating site a little over a month ago, we saw each other alot (3-5xs a week). We seemed to be fit for each other. He from the first date told me of his business venture he wanted to do hopefully next year. Well opportunity jumped and he took it, told me on our one month date(sunday) that he was leaving on tuesday to try it out. I panicked, cried, he didnt seem as sad but said he was and wanted to continue with me and will come back every couple weeks to see me. We will txt and call and it will pass by as this will be an 8month thing for him. Afte rmuch deliberation I agreed, painfully. We did well this week talking and texting, although a little less than usual due to his new work stuff. Last night he called me an hour and a half later than our agreed time, said he was asleep (FINE) he promised he would make it up by calling me at lunchtime and then again tonight like normal. I havent received a text or a call all day, and I have been crying today and depressed over this. I know there could be logical reasons why he hasnt but this is a first and for him to promise and not follow through is unlike him. AND no texting at all he usually is texting off an on through out the day. I dont know what to do. I sort of sent a few ranting txts and i tried calling a few times, no answer. Any tips or ideas? I know I must sound psycho.

[LadyMarchHare]

I can understand how you feel, it's rough to just be starting something and then have them go off to do something that doesn't involve you. And yes it is hard to cope with promises being broken as far as contact but you have to remember that he is working and if he's not busy then it occupies his mind enough that he can forget what he's promised you. It might help if you didn't try to get your hopes up and keep yourself busy instead of waiting around for him, and maybe ask that he not treat the promises to call or text as something surefire. Instead of saying "I will call you" ask him to say "I will try to call you." Wording makes a big difference.

And if this is the first time he's done something like this I don't think it's fair that you send him "ranting texts" and call him repeatedly. Some people will deter contact for a few hours or a day or so if they feel the person is a little volatile. I'm not saying you don't have a right to be upset or worried, but that really isn't the proper way to handle the situation.

[kbobo]

i think your right and i havent heard from him yet.. sort of feels like he doesnt want me now. im worried because of his job can be a little dangerous, sometimes the phone is on and sometimes it is off.. its got me so confused.. thanks.

[LadyMarchHare]

Just because it's taking him a while to respond and his phone is turned off sometimes doesn't mean he doesn't want you. My boyfriend works a job that has him working 7 days a week, anywhere from 10-13 hours every day. Sometimes it takes him a few minutes to text me, sometimes hours, sometimes days. There are days I've called his phone before work and it's been turned off or he lets it go to voicemail. It happens when you have a demanding job and don't exactly get the luxury to whip out your phone or goof around on a computer to send your girlfriend a message or start up a conversation. Yeah it sucks, I'm not going to lie, but he chose to do this for himself and all you can really do is try to adjust to the uncertain schedule and hope for the best or decide if you can handle it or not and take it from there.

[Truth_Hurts]

Space. Everybody needs some. Besides, it's only 8 months. If you are serious about the relationship enough you will have to deal with it. Don't appear needy because it is a sure deterrent, especially this early in the relationship.

[TknandLvnIt]

I agree with the previous comments from LMH and Truth_hurts. Its very early in the relationship and if you seem excessively clingy or needy he may not be inclined to continue in a long distance relationship with you. The reason he is doing it now is because he cares about you and saw something that he wanted to keep in his life. He is in a new situation and that means that your communication may change a bit. I'm sure he didn't intentionally lie to you and I know that has happened with my SO a few times. He still wanted to talk to me but was unable to tell me that he was unavailable because something happened that kept him from doing so. I think you should give him some space. Tell him how you are feeling with out ranting or being overly emotional and tell him that if he can't talk to you need at least a text from him or something along those lines. I also wasn't sure are you in a relationship or are you dating?