NEW!

[Lauren11778]

So, I'm new to this long distance thing. I was with my boyfriend for 3 months. We had such a strong connection. I love him so much. 3 days ago he moved back to his hometown in TX, i am in TN. We had decided we were going to make it work. We would communicate, talk every chance we got, and in a few months i would move to TX to be with him. This morning he tells me that he needs to get his life back on track and he can't do that if he is concentrating on me. I don;t know how to be his friend, i don't want to be his friend. i love him too much to settle for friendship.

Can someone please give me some advice on how to deal with this. i am beyond depressed right now and i don't know what to do. I want to help him through all of this and i want to be the one to help him get his life back together, but he won;t let me.

[Micah]

I think that you should give him the space he needs. Maybe it will turn out that he does need you around after all and giving him space may make him realize how much he misses you. I think that when guys need space and time to concentrate on other aspects of their lives, the best thing you can do is grant that to them. Try to be patient, as hard as it is to be. Sorry you are going through this.

[Lauren11778]

Thank you. I'm really trying. It's just hard because we talked this morning and everything was great. We talked for an hour and actually had a conversation where neither of us cried. This just came out of nowhere. He changed his number, called me, and we talked about things, and he told me he didn't have to give me his new number. I'm just so confused. i know his mom is the one that convinced him to do this. She has been telling him since the day he left that he needs to leave everyone in TN behind, including me. In the past 3 days i have gone from seeing him every day to not seeing him at all, now is asking me to go from talking to him every day to not talking every day. The last message i got from him said we should not talk at all for the net few days and then see where we are.

[LadyMarchHare]

If he has someone putting a bug in his ear about getting his life on track, there's not much you can do but hope he makes the right decision for himself and not because someone else influenced him into it.

Sometimes people tend to question the direction they're heading in, if what they're doing right now is the best thing for them, and that includes relationships and friendships. Let him have the time he needs but let him know you care and will be supportive no matter what he does. If he chooses to no longer be with you, that's his choice and you have to respect it. Just because you love someone or they love you doesn't mean they'll stay.

[lucybelle]

The ending of a relationship is always hard. Lovers to friends is not an easy step. And something most people (including me) can never do. Give him space and hopefully he'll see what he's missing. If not you'll find someone new who wants to be with you no matter what.

[Lauren11778]

Just an update. We still talk every day. We don't talk nearly as much as we used to. Some days he wants to talk all day, some days he doesn't. I am taking things a day at a time. it actually gets easier. I thought for sure it would only get harder, but every day holds something new and I'm really excited to see where we end up!

[JEREIANEDREI]

space thats it...it will be hurtful...but if that's what he want give it to him dear,..I feel you...be strong and dont forget to pray,,God will guide you,..Good luck and God Bless

[Leigh]

Sounds like your handling it better now. Good for you girl!

[tiffinnie]

Keep in mind that a solid relationship includes being his friend. You have to be able to be so many people for your significant other... You have to be his friend at times, his enemy sometimes, his sound board, and his significant other... we're not JUST significant others, we are many many things. we're lovers and fighters and backbones and support systems and enemies and listeners and many other things.

I'm glad things are getting to be easier for you. They may suck sometimes but the space he is asking for might be needed for him to better adjust to his situation, even if its not space you want, it might be something you both need. Good luck!