broken hearted, in the best of ways

[theyellowdart]

As I write this I am sitting inside an airport in Maine, waiting for a delayed flight to Chicago, only to board another delayed flight to my home in California. All day long it has been lingering in the back of my mind. Today's the day we part ways and return to the distance.

It really hit home as soon as I had gotten through security.. Right as I had finished putting my shoes, my belt, and all my belongings back into place, I felt the first of many tears run down my face. I made my way over to my terminal, found a seat with an outlet for my laptop that did not have too many people around, tossed my hoodie over my head and grabbed my laptop all the while attempting to deafen my sobs. I'm not a man who cries often, not by any means.

Shes just so amazing, and I am madly in love with her.

I was so nervous going on this trip to meet her face to face for the first time. I have gotten to know this woman so well over the last 6 months. How was I to know what kind of expectations she had of me? How was I to know if I would be able to live up to any of them? I know that similar thoughts had plagued her mind as well.. though I had already knew that she would be just as awesome in person..

As it turns out, neither of us had any reason to be nervous. We had an amazing time, even though we didn't do anything major. Well, I should really rephrase that. We didn't do anything others would see as major. However, to the two of us, just being together was the most wonderful thing. Holding her in my arms, kissing her on the forehead. Cuddling up and playing some video games or watching a movie. Or simply just driving around, with no real final destination in mind. It didn't matter what we were doing, as long as we were doing it together.

I miss her so much. I am so heartbroken right now as I write this, wearing my hoodie in the corner of the airport terminal. Heartbroken, in the best of ways imaginable.

[Joyce:)]

We all experience the heartbreak every time we have to part from our SO. So far I've had to say goodbye three times, and each time it feels like i was breaking in a thousand pieces, but I guess that just goes to show how amazing the person we love is.

Things get better, you'll feel better, and planning the next visit will make things easier
I'm glad you had an amazing time meeting her for the first time!

[LadyMarchHare]

I was an emotional wreck both ways. I cried on my way there, I cried on my way out, especially when I was stuck in Georgia for 2 hours due to a flight delay and all I wanted was to go home and crawl in my bed. It's something we all unfortunately go through no matter how many times we visit, no matter how many times we tell ourselves we aren't going to cry, we aren't going to cry. Eventually the tears subside, the hurt dulls to a small ache, and you're left with memories you wouldn't trade for all the money in the world.

[JEREIANEDREI]

no amount of money,no material things,..nothing would make us feel good rather than to be with our SO...me since he left 6 months ago,,left me here in pi,.each day i remember him,,i used to cry,,,loneliness killin me...missing him...same here while typing my reply here,..im crying,.its our monthsary today,,10th month...but he forgot..it hurts me...I dont know but im such a crying baby....crying crying crying....but we need to be strong!...just pray...we can passed this trials of distance...Good luck to us...God bless!

[rsvpnj]

I have also felt these emotions. My SO lives in California and I am in Jersey. I cry whenever we separate and I also cry on my way to be reunited because I usually have to leave my children behind to see him. While I can't say that being apart gets easier... but you do grow more accustomed to it and the crying usually lessens as well. Good luck in your relationship!!!

[redbellepepper]

i empathize with you, theyellowdart. we all have this moment in our LDR life. but the beauty of this temporary heartbreak is the fact that we are more than motivated to hold on to the relationship, work hard for it and make everything count to finally be with the our love one.

[Caitlin2009]

i know this feeling all too well it was horrible to see her go the first visit, but 2nd visit was the worst. I had to cry in my hoodie in order for people to not hear how loudly i was crying

[13000km]

We've all been through the pain of separation and know exactly how you're feeling. When I left I was crying from even before we said goodbye, all the way to security and on the plane. Poor japanese man next to me didn't know whether he should do anything or not. /:

I'm glad that you enjoyed the simple things with each other. (: The pain will gradually start to fade over time. It helps to think positive, which you've been great at doing, and joyce is right, planning your next visit, having something to look forward to often eases the pain and helps you become stronger in your relationship. All the best to you. (:

[kteire]

i know this feeling all too well it was horrible to see her go the first visit, but 2nd visit was the worst. I had to cry in my hoodie in order for people to not hear how loudly i was crying

The second visit goodbye was by far the worst for me too. I don't know why... I guess I was just much more aware of what I was going back to, and how awful I'd feel back here.

At least, OP, it does get much easier. Some days are better than others, and some days (yesterday being a prime example) are a lot harder. I spent about 99% of the time that I talked to Loic yesterday sobbing. Doesn't help that our 1 year anniversary's coming up, and I don't get to see him for it!

But I'm so happy for you that it was an amazing time!! I definitely think that everyone here understands what you mean by those little things being major. I'd give anything to curl up and play Halo with Loic right now!