And I'm back. (Sheesh, life is crazy. Btw, so is the length of this thread 0_0 )
Hey fellow LFAD'ers!
It's me again! Sander, dutch guy, 21...
You might remember me a little bit. Probably have forgotten all about me
. But here I am, I'm back!
Now, it wouldn't be much of a return if I didn't have stuff to share, so I'm gonna. Just for you guys (and gals). I don't know why I'm sharing it, but I guess I just feel like it. Besides, I can remember some pretty nice topics on here with some nice people around. I mean, this is the site for long-distance relationships, right?
So, an update from where I last left you guys-
Me and my previous SO broke up... Long story, but in a nutshell, my previous SO wanted different things in life and we figured we didn't fit together. Well, that's the abridged version, *ahum*. Let me backtrack a bit. It'll be a short story, I'm telling you- I'm sorry in advance, haha.
Last July till August, my SO came over for a month. I had seen her in January for 3 weeks and now she came to Holland. Things at points had been rough, but I didn't feel it was that bad at all. I thought she was the one. So, naturally that vacation I proposed to her. Bought a fancy ring. We had a great time during the vacation, mostly. A few arguments here and there, but alright. She said yes to my proposal. In June 2011 we would get married and I would move to Brazil.
She left and that's when all the bad shit started to happen (pardon my language). Huge fights, her wanting to go to college and me wanting to be with her (she wanted me to wait 4 more years till she finished college, which I couldn't handle). We fought daily and it was a big mess. In the end she wanted different things. She told me she wanted to be with other guys, which was honest of her and I appreciated that. Not that she wanted me gone, but just to have intercourse and such. I am very jealous and I tried to be okay with it, but I couldn't. Same for her. Anyways, she basically wanted to party, be single, be young, the whole stuff before settling down. I felt very differently about that. Not only that, I could feel that even though we were really, really close, I didn't feel that same love anymore. And before I even acknowledged this, she said she didn't love me multiple times. I made some mistakes. Not that I was awful to her, but for some reason we both were hurting each other very much without really realizing it.
She broke up with me early this year. She then slept with another guy. It wasn't cheating, but of course it had a huge impact on me at the time. It really hurt me. But okay. I mean, around then I realized we weren't meant to be and even though I do think she is special, I was not right in thinking love and effort could fix some of our basic problems together. Of course, I was super upset. I get depressed really easily, so basically I was back at square 1.
That's part 1, haha...
Fast forward to February 22nd. I go on omegle, cause I had nothing better to do other than feel utterly depressed. I wanted to get my mind off relationships, take it easy, just process everything. I mean, long-distance, sheesh, do you know how damn tough that is?!! Missing each other, needing each other, all of it. Of course, no way I would set myself up again. My ex was my first girlfriend and so many things were just hard and tough. I would learn from this and maybe in the far future- nah, I would not get in a relationship again. I was obviously terrible at it and not fit. I would end up hurting someone, including myself. I was already incredibly hurt that things went so sour. How did I not realize sooner that my ex and I were simply not a good fit?
But of course, as I was chatting, BAM! Tane Audi, this amazing girl, this beautiful, BEAUTIFUL Mexican/Spanish girl came into my life. We started talking and there was this immediate click. And trust! We shared so much in such a short time. With so many things we see eye to eye and it's just so incredible to spend time with her and do just about anything. She's super creative. Draws, plays guitar. Really passionate. Has a strong, but fair, opinion. Is very respectful, kind and supportive. She has beautiful hair and I love the way it falls on her. She has small lips that are just so alluring and so, so kissable! Just her presence has such a big impact on me. I wish you could all meet her. She's the woman I could never imagine could exist. She's so lovable, haha. Soooo special... She moves me... It wasn't long before I said I loved her and she told me she loved me. I guess only a few days. Yes, I'm the most rational person ever, but with her (as cliche as it sounds), it was so damn natural for me to say it. And for her to say it to me... Seriously, I'm effing blessed. At that moment (and every moment since), whenever I say it, it feels wonderful. In less than a week, I asked if she wanted to be my girlfriend. And she said YES!!!
This is the part you might think I'm crazy, haha. Around a week after talking to her and just feeling so in love and so strongly about her, I decided to book a flight. In less than a month's time on the 23rd of March I arrived in Mexico City and there she was...
That month, (a whole month!) people, people, it was my personal Heaven, Paradise, Nirvana, whatever you like to call it. The things we did, the time shared, every single special moment will always be with me. We went to the beach, saw sunsets, stayed up late and watched movies and talked ages, went out to cafes, all the stuff of dreams come true. I could talk aaaaages about the trip... Sheesh, man-oh-man... But then of course I had to leave...
Heartbreaking. Crying, and more crying. I was a wreck, she was a wreck, we were crushed. I knew the pain to come. Missing her...
But we stay strong. We take each day as it is. Try to speak, try to manage and it's going alright. Some days are terrible, others are actually really nice when we talk for long hours. But the future is ahead and when in love, plans to be together will be made-
She wants to study and I have a job in Holland. Considering she is half Spanish, she can go to college here and work here. Which works out for her, because it's cheaper and better too. I mean, it's never easy to move abroad and live together nonetheless, but she has lived in America (Atlanta) for a year and also in Europe several months (Barcelona, a bit in Wales and Italy). And I have lived abroad too. Not just that, I see this as a chance to gain independence and take on a challenge with the support of my SO. Her presence gives me so much strength and motivation and I want to build a life with her. We both will have our own lives, of course, but we do want an 'us' more than anything. I want to be in her world. So we decided to see Holland as a stepping stone. A chance to earn money and do college and be together!!! We could prolong our relationship and stay apart, but in the end, we don't know till we try. We're madly in love and in the end it's never an option to be apart. We are too close and too dear too each other already. I know it might seem rash, it might seem sudden and it is to some extent. But I am sure about my feelings every day, I'm sure of our trust and our strength and I'm sure that no matter how it turns out, I want her and I need her, because I love her to effing bits. I'll do anything to make it work. I might get hurt, but so be it. I'm scared of myself and the situation, but I feel I can do this. I know right now, I'm getting happy, just by thinking of her.
Needless to say, I'm super excited, super happy and completely in love...
SHE WILL COME AROUND BEGINNING SEPTEMBER!!!!!!! CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT???!!!
I might be an idiot sometimes, but yes, this time is different, I know more, I know how much I care for her, and yes I am going to give it my all. I won't be able to tell if I'm going to be with my love for forever, but any moment is a blessing and this might be my life's greatest opportunity, my life's best choice and for what she's given me, for who she is- most of all that, for being able to love her and make her happy, for being able to live in a part of her world, I am eternally grateful.
So, here's to love! Here's to new beginnings! Here's to 2011, the year of change, good and bad! May this time give me wisdom, strength and enough willpower to make something special! Together, hand-in-hand...
Here's to Tane Audi, my sweetest lover, my best friend, my dearest family and my heart's closest. Thank you for all that you are. Thank you for existing. Thank you for all the pretty little things you do and are that I won't be able to put into words, but become a part of me.
Let me try to brighten our future with each passing step. Let's give it our best shot!
Have a wonderful day, really. All of you!
Ciao,
Sander
Ps. Good to be back. Good to be ALIVE! And fricking epic to be in love with my love.
It's me again! Sander, dutch guy, 21...
You might remember me a little bit. Probably have forgotten all about me
. But here I am, I'm back!Now, it wouldn't be much of a return if I didn't have stuff to share, so I'm gonna. Just for you guys (and gals). I don't know why I'm sharing it, but I guess I just feel like it. Besides, I can remember some pretty nice topics on here with some nice people around. I mean, this is the site for long-distance relationships, right?
So, an update from where I last left you guys-
Me and my previous SO broke up... Long story, but in a nutshell, my previous SO wanted different things in life and we figured we didn't fit together. Well, that's the abridged version, *ahum*. Let me backtrack a bit. It'll be a short story, I'm telling you- I'm sorry in advance, haha.
Last July till August, my SO came over for a month. I had seen her in January for 3 weeks and now she came to Holland. Things at points had been rough, but I didn't feel it was that bad at all. I thought she was the one. So, naturally that vacation I proposed to her. Bought a fancy ring. We had a great time during the vacation, mostly. A few arguments here and there, but alright. She said yes to my proposal. In June 2011 we would get married and I would move to Brazil.
She left and that's when all the bad shit started to happen (pardon my language). Huge fights, her wanting to go to college and me wanting to be with her (she wanted me to wait 4 more years till she finished college, which I couldn't handle). We fought daily and it was a big mess. In the end she wanted different things. She told me she wanted to be with other guys, which was honest of her and I appreciated that. Not that she wanted me gone, but just to have intercourse and such. I am very jealous and I tried to be okay with it, but I couldn't. Same for her. Anyways, she basically wanted to party, be single, be young, the whole stuff before settling down. I felt very differently about that. Not only that, I could feel that even though we were really, really close, I didn't feel that same love anymore. And before I even acknowledged this, she said she didn't love me multiple times. I made some mistakes. Not that I was awful to her, but for some reason we both were hurting each other very much without really realizing it.
She broke up with me early this year. She then slept with another guy. It wasn't cheating, but of course it had a huge impact on me at the time. It really hurt me. But okay. I mean, around then I realized we weren't meant to be and even though I do think she is special, I was not right in thinking love and effort could fix some of our basic problems together. Of course, I was super upset. I get depressed really easily, so basically I was back at square 1.
That's part 1, haha...
Fast forward to February 22nd. I go on omegle, cause I had nothing better to do other than feel utterly depressed. I wanted to get my mind off relationships, take it easy, just process everything. I mean, long-distance, sheesh, do you know how damn tough that is?!! Missing each other, needing each other, all of it. Of course, no way I would set myself up again. My ex was my first girlfriend and so many things were just hard and tough. I would learn from this and maybe in the far future- nah, I would not get in a relationship again. I was obviously terrible at it and not fit. I would end up hurting someone, including myself. I was already incredibly hurt that things went so sour. How did I not realize sooner that my ex and I were simply not a good fit?
But of course, as I was chatting, BAM! Tane Audi, this amazing girl, this beautiful, BEAUTIFUL Mexican/Spanish girl came into my life. We started talking and there was this immediate click. And trust! We shared so much in such a short time. With so many things we see eye to eye and it's just so incredible to spend time with her and do just about anything. She's super creative. Draws, plays guitar. Really passionate. Has a strong, but fair, opinion. Is very respectful, kind and supportive. She has beautiful hair and I love the way it falls on her. She has small lips that are just so alluring and so, so kissable! Just her presence has such a big impact on me. I wish you could all meet her. She's the woman I could never imagine could exist. She's so lovable, haha. Soooo special... She moves me... It wasn't long before I said I loved her and she told me she loved me. I guess only a few days. Yes, I'm the most rational person ever, but with her (as cliche as it sounds), it was so damn natural for me to say it. And for her to say it to me... Seriously, I'm effing blessed. At that moment (and every moment since), whenever I say it, it feels wonderful. In less than a week, I asked if she wanted to be my girlfriend. And she said YES!!!
This is the part you might think I'm crazy, haha. Around a week after talking to her and just feeling so in love and so strongly about her, I decided to book a flight. In less than a month's time on the 23rd of March I arrived in Mexico City and there she was...
That month, (a whole month!) people, people, it was my personal Heaven, Paradise, Nirvana, whatever you like to call it. The things we did, the time shared, every single special moment will always be with me. We went to the beach, saw sunsets, stayed up late and watched movies and talked ages, went out to cafes, all the stuff of dreams come true. I could talk aaaaages about the trip... Sheesh, man-oh-man... But then of course I had to leave...
Heartbreaking. Crying, and more crying. I was a wreck, she was a wreck, we were crushed. I knew the pain to come. Missing her...
But we stay strong. We take each day as it is. Try to speak, try to manage and it's going alright. Some days are terrible, others are actually really nice when we talk for long hours. But the future is ahead and when in love, plans to be together will be made-
She wants to study and I have a job in Holland. Considering she is half Spanish, she can go to college here and work here. Which works out for her, because it's cheaper and better too. I mean, it's never easy to move abroad and live together nonetheless, but she has lived in America (Atlanta) for a year and also in Europe several months (Barcelona, a bit in Wales and Italy). And I have lived abroad too. Not just that, I see this as a chance to gain independence and take on a challenge with the support of my SO. Her presence gives me so much strength and motivation and I want to build a life with her. We both will have our own lives, of course, but we do want an 'us' more than anything. I want to be in her world. So we decided to see Holland as a stepping stone. A chance to earn money and do college and be together!!! We could prolong our relationship and stay apart, but in the end, we don't know till we try. We're madly in love and in the end it's never an option to be apart. We are too close and too dear too each other already. I know it might seem rash, it might seem sudden and it is to some extent. But I am sure about my feelings every day, I'm sure of our trust and our strength and I'm sure that no matter how it turns out, I want her and I need her, because I love her to effing bits. I'll do anything to make it work. I might get hurt, but so be it. I'm scared of myself and the situation, but I feel I can do this. I know right now, I'm getting happy, just by thinking of her.
Needless to say, I'm super excited, super happy and completely in love...
SHE WILL COME AROUND BEGINNING SEPTEMBER!!!!!!! CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT???!!!
I might be an idiot sometimes, but yes, this time is different, I know more, I know how much I care for her, and yes I am going to give it my all. I won't be able to tell if I'm going to be with my love for forever, but any moment is a blessing and this might be my life's greatest opportunity, my life's best choice and for what she's given me, for who she is- most of all that, for being able to love her and make her happy, for being able to live in a part of her world, I am eternally grateful.
So, here's to love! Here's to new beginnings! Here's to 2011, the year of change, good and bad! May this time give me wisdom, strength and enough willpower to make something special! Together, hand-in-hand...
Here's to Tane Audi, my sweetest lover, my best friend, my dearest family and my heart's closest. Thank you for all that you are. Thank you for existing. Thank you for all the pretty little things you do and are that I won't be able to put into words, but become a part of me.
Let me try to brighten our future with each passing step. Let's give it our best shot!
Have a wonderful day, really. All of you!
Ciao,
Sander
Ps. Good to be back. Good to be ALIVE! And fricking epic to be in love with my love.
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