How do you Cope when your SO leaves?

[knhdarw]

Hey everybody,

just wanted to know how yall cope when your SO comes to visit and then they leave. My family tells me I'm acting like a child if I cry after he leaves, but i think its normal to cry and be sad after the person your in love with leaves you. I know I'm not alone in this am I?

[LadyMarchHare]

I think I'd be more concerned if someone was happy or even neutral when their SO left. It is VERY normal to cry, feel something akin to withdrawal, and feel depressed for days or even weeks after a visit. Luckily it does subside and you're left with the happy memories of the time you two shared in person. It's always good to try and keep yourself able to look forward to things as well, to help combat the sadness and sometimes hopelessness you can feel. But yes, it's normal. I'm rather upset your family tells you you're acting childish for showing a genuine emotion, though.

[Amber]

I am the one that usually is the one leaving from seeing my SO. I cry sometimes and last time that I went to go see him he actually cried because he is tired of saying good-bye. But make sure that you tell your SO that its not good-bye, but its a see you soon type of thing! I also make sure that I spray my side of the bed with my perfume for him so that for at least for a week or so he can smell me on it and he can cuddle with the pillow when needed. I make sure I let him know when I get home and that I made it safe. Its okay to let your SO other know that you miss them right away, but make sure you say that you cant wait to see them again sometime! make sure that you keep it positive. Dont make it so emotional because that seems to make it worse. You need to remember that this is a time of your life that you need to learn about yourself and have time to yourself and also include that other person in your life! So make sure that you are keeping yourself busy. So when you have to say good bye, make sure that you go do something else to get your mind off being sad, not from your SO , but just make sure that you are filling your schedule with things because I bet they are filling their lives with other things to make missing you a little easier!!!! hope that helps!

[Junebug]

I don't think it is wrong to be sad or cry either. I act that way especially when he is here for a long period of time. If we only have a day together I don't cry but I am definitely sad. My friends and family notice a difference in me when he is here as well as after he leaves. I usually have a day or two after he leaves that I am usually okay and then it hits that he isn't here anymore and I get really sad. Life is hard but when you are in Love with someone you love them no matter if they are with or your apart.

[theyellowdart]

I agree completely with ladymarchhare.. I actually had to say goodbye to my lady just yesterday after visiting her for a few days.. the actual goodbye wasn't so bad, because we didn't have but a minute to do it as we were running a little late on getting to the airport in time.. a quick hug, kiss, and I love you and away I was... but as soon as I got through security I cried and I felt like a piece of me was completely ripped away inside. She cried on her way out of the airport and on her way home, as well. This morning, when I woke up, It seriously took me 3 hours to convince myself I needed to get out of bed for the day.. having a dream about her and than waking up to being alone again is the worst feeling after a nice visit with her..

but I know, and I want you to know, that it will get better and look at it this way, you wouldn't be this hurt or this torn up over it if you didn't honestly and truly care about this person... so in this instance, I say screw what your 'rents say, its perfectly normal to be shaken up after departing! As long as you coup with it healthily, and eventually bounce back

[JEREIANEDREI]

Hey everybody,

just wanted to know how yall cope when your SO comes to visit and then they leave. My family tells me I'm acting like a child if I cry after he leaves, but i think its normal to cry and be sad after the person your in love with leaves you. I know I'm not alone in this am I?

yap same here,,,I'm such a crying baby...I used to cry,,cry and cry...and until now that were half a year apart...there are also times that when I'm seeing him on cam when were chatting on skype I'm crying,coz I wanna touch,hug and kissed him but I cant,.If only I could go inside the screen of my computer I would just to be with her...I think its normal to feel the sadness of being away with our SO's...especially if he is the one who makes u happy and smile in times that you have problems,,my SO is like a best friend to me,,when were together he always boost my confidence and when I'm crying he will said "Don't cry baby,,everything will be fine,as long as I'm here"...then he will make some funny acts,.he always makes my day...he always want me to be happy....thats why I'm missing him a lot....so much :'(
...you are not alone...Good Luck to us!...God Bless

[knhdarw]

thanks guys and yea if i cry im acting childish and am not mature enough to have a relationship thats what my mom says @ least im soon to be 20 by the way and I honest to God love my BF with everything in me and couldnt imagine him not being in my life even if he's 1000 miles away from he i wont give him up because my parents think im stupid and give me NO support what so ever but i am thankful for the lil forum we have here truly helps

[Silviar]

What you're experiencing is completely normal. I was very withdrawn and sad every time after my SO and I parted.

I let myself cry, then allowed myself some time to very selfishly do hobbies I enjoy immensely to distract myself and bring back the happy balance.

[Micah]

I always cry after saying goodbye. I am an emotional person, though. I don't think it's immature and I don't feel there is anything wrong with it. It's how some choose to cope sometimes. It feels good to cry. It's an emotional release. I usually have a 10 hour drive back home to be sad. Then, I get home and I have to put on a happy face for my kids. It is still hard, but I leave my sad and lonely moments to those quiet times at night where I can throw a pity party without it affecting anyone else. Being sad is nothing to be ashamed of. It just means you care. But, also try to be happy and cherish the times you have together and look to the positives as well. I find it's always bittersweet when I leave because I had such an enjoyable time, but at the same time it is so hard to part ways.

[Phimini]

I can't see how crying could ever be considered childish. Crying just means that you care enough about them to feel sad over your departure.

I was the one going away 5 of the six times I saw my boy. The first four I didn't cry, but I was definitely sad. I just tried to keep my mind on the next time I'd get to see him again. Now, the final time? I cried 50 miles of the drive back because I knew it was the last time I'd see him for at least a year. I'm trying to keep busy and talk to him when I can to fend off the sadness.

Crying is normal so don't feel like you've done something wrong by crying. <3

[LadyMarchHare]

thanks guys and yea if i cry im acting childish and am not mature enough to have a relationship thats what my mom says @ least im soon to be 20 by the way and I honest to God love my BF with everything in me and couldnt imagine him not being in my life even if he's 1000 miles away from he i wont give him up because my parents think im stupid and give me NO support what so ever but i am thankful for the lil forum we have here truly helps

Thankfully this forum is around because I understand the whole "no support from my family" bit. Nothing wrong with a good old cry, it's emotions like that, that make us stronger. The absence of them makes us ultimately weaker.

[rori795]

I'm also an emotional person. I cry every time I've had to say goodbye. And then I completely immerse myself in work and become a workaholic for the next week or so (I'm usually half way there anyway). On the bright side, at least I know my boss really loves me during those times. haha.

Never feel ashamed to express any emotion that you have. Especially sorrow over someone you love leaving.

[NaNi]

I cry. Hard. I can't help it. It just hurts so much. Especially because we can only visit once a year. So it's not like we can see each other again anytime soon.

[BlueCat]

Short answer: I don't.

Long answer: I cry, a lot. If I'm leaving, I cry the night before and at the airport and when I'm getting on the plane etc. Then I'm too self-concious to cry and end up just feeling really numb. Then when I get home after I've seen my family, I usually cry at night.

When he leaves, it's a bit different, I cry beforehand, I cry at the airport, when his plane has taken off, when I'm driving home etc. Then I usually come home, curl up in bed and cry myself to sleep, no matter the time of day. I find it harder to be the one left behind, because everything you do, you're now doing without your SO, so little reminders can often set me off.

But I guess that's not really how I cope with it. I usually plan something for that night or the next day with friends, as he's still on planes etc at that point so I won't get to talk to him anyway, so the best thing I can do is have friends around me to distract me or just to be there for me. After that, I just like to know that he's reached home safely and talk to him as much as possible for the both of us after he arrives home. I probably also eat a lot of chocolate

[Darth_Taco]

I ask him to come over the next day :P. I know, I'm an ass :'D.

When we were long distance though, I would basically clamp on and refuse to let go. Then I would claim him as my property! D:< As a manly man who is very insecure of his masculinity, I would try my hardest not to cry. Of course, I always ended up crying like a little bitch in the end xD. Once we actually parted, I'd go to the nearest corner I could find and just be depressed until I got home. The whole time we'd likely be texting to keep ourselves distracted, unless he was at work or on a rare time I left angry (it's happened ;_;!). As soon as I got home and we started talking on the phone though, that's when the tears took over ;_;! The next day I'd be completely over it and back to our routine xD. God, I so do not miss that @_@!