Hey folks, a little help? :)

[Lauz]

I hate for my first post outside of the introductions to be a complaint; I really do have a wonderful, wonderful sweetheart. There's one thing he's been doing that I wouldn't mind a little advice on though, here goes-

My boyfriend and I have been in a LDR for seven months. Generally, it's been okay. We both miss each other tons and we talk everyday. We don't fight too much, either. And we've both got quite a bit of free time to spend with each other. But, he refuses to write me a letter. I know it sounds petty, but he always says he will, and he never does. I send him a letter, a care package, etc. around once or twice a month. I've been asking for a letter for at least six months.

I confronted him about it a week or so ago, and he said that he didn't see the point in writing one. He told me he was a physical kind of person (which is true) and it was hard for him to write something when he didn't have me there. I explained that he had been promising for six months, and if he wasn't going to do it, fine. It hurt when he said he would never write me a letter. He asked me why it meant so much. I told him I wanted a love letter because he doesn't ever say thank you for any of the pictures, packages or emails I send him, and I just wanted something back.

We'll have been together a full year in mid-April, I'm kind of hoping he'll put in the effort to send me a letter, just because he knows it means a lot to me. I don't know if I should believe in that, though.

He's very sweet when we're on the phone, he'll talk for hours if we can. And I love him. But I really, really wish he'd send me that letter. Is there anything I can do to get him to write one, or at least understand where I'm coming from?

Thanks,
Lauren

[archangel]

I think I understand...
Does you both write emails to each other? or is that also one sided? I'm just wondering since if it is one sided, you could use this a start and get him to work his way up to a love letter (either sent by mail or via email). I disagree with you that he refuses to write a love letter, he could just be unable to describe how much he loves you in writing. I'd say give him some time, and get him to start out slowly by writing more passionate emails to you.

eh.. I hope it helps

AA

[folclor]

Yeah, I understand where you're comingfrom. ^^; Alex has been promising to send me a package since last September but hasn't yet. I know he will, I just have to prod him a little more. >.> maybe tell him something I'd like him to send so that he doesn't have the, "I don't know what you'd like" excuse. ^^; I don't know how to get him to write you a letter but if you emphasis to him that it would make you feel better while you're apart he may just give in.

[kasia516]

I have the same problem with my boyfriend sometimes. I send letters/cards/pics in a huge packet every month and i used to bug him to send me stuff too. he sent me a few and when i asked him for more he would say he's too busy (he has school and work) and that he would rather spend his time with me instead of writing me a letter. so i stopped asking and finally he looked at his box full of letters and said "wow, you send me so much more than i sent you. im sorry, ill make it up to you." and he said he would send more. so maybe with the next letter say something like "i know how much you love getting letters" and he'll get the hint and notice how much fun it is to receive letters. or if youre feeling a bit evil stop sending him letters and he'll notice how much he misses them and then finally sends you some. if he doesnt want to send a letter, maybe ask for a postcard, its less formal and he'll warm up to the idea of sending things. maybe its a guy thing that they dont send as much as we do, but i would LOVE to know the secret of getting a boy to send me stuff!!

[archangel]

maybe its a guy thing that they dont send as much as we do, but i would LOVE to know the secret of getting a boy to send me stuff!!

I'm the complete opposite... I've sent my gal cards, a calendar and am planning to send her a package for spring and Easter. She has sent my a small package... and a calender which got lost in the mail .

so maybe with the next letter say something like "i know how much you love getting letters" and he'll get the hint and notice how much fun it is to receive letters. or if you're feeling a bit evil stop sending him letters and he'll notice how much he misses them and then finally sends you some. if he doesn't want to send a letter, maybe ask for a postcard, its less formal and he'll warm up to the idea of sending things.

I wouldn't really consider that evil... since he would then like you said realize how much he misses them and by doing so, he would hopefully start sending you some in return.
heh.. or if your up to it you could get him to join LFAD to get some ideas on writing love letters

[BJL_Sweetheart1109]

The SO doesn't write me either. He says he's not great at writing stuff. Which I like to write, it's much easier for me to explain how I feel in a written letter than trying to tell him. Where as he's better at showing me. He likes to do stuff for me. Like last time he was in, he bought new tires for my vehicle bc he said the others were too old and he worried about me. Fairly simple, but I know this was his way of letting me know he cares about me. I've gotten over it. I still try now and then, but I don't really get more than the usual holiday stuff (my birthday, valentine's day) and when he writes for those things I LOOOOVE it, I always think it sounds really sweet, but he doesn't think it's much. ONCE ONE TIME he sent me a "I Miss You" card, but it's just not something he thinks about. I do need to give him credit, after our last big serious talk, he started texting more. Just random "I'm thinking about you" texts, but still no cards/letters. I've even told him, I know I write a lot of long letters really expressing my feelings I'm just better at writing its my way of letting you know how I feel, I'm not asking for that, heck I don't care if you're at Taco Bell and scribble on an extra napkin "I love you" it's still getting something in the mail and seeing your handwritting and there is just something so much more personal to that. But I don't think he gets it. Its just not him

I write A LOT. He usually gets a package at least once month. Usually full of little gifts, letters, cards, and something I baked or candy. I used to try to mail him something every week. Some times it was a few page letter, some times a romantic card, or a cute/corny card, or maybe just a one page note saying I was thinking about him. Idk, it's just not him, he's more comfortable with showing it than writing it. But if you find out some secret formula or something clue us all in!!

[lunamea]

Yeah, I feel the same way. As sending stuff is quite expensive, though, I haven't sent my husband a lot either. We agreed not to send anything for Christmas because I went to visit in January and we didn't send anything for Valentine's because I said I wanted to send something for our anniversary (2 weeks ago). Still, I had to make him send me something, too. It would've never entered his mind on his own. I don't think it's right to make them send us stuff, but what else to do??? Because in the end, the gift he got me was really beautiful and I love it. Still, I always feel like I forced something on him...

[Lauz]

Thanks for all the advice guys At least I'm definitely not alone on this one! If I do find some crafty formula, I'll be sure to let you all know.

Thanks again,
Lauren

[Mio]

Maybe you can tell him that it would mean a lot to you.

[Zephii]

I understand what you mean. He probably feels there isnt a point in writing because you talk together often enough. I think you probably can't change that.
The only thing I can suggest is stop writing to him and if he misses it and mentions it you can say you stopped becuase he never wrote back

[agentholli]

I like Zephii suggestion. Sometimes people don't really appreciate what they have in front of them, so if you stop and he notices that he misses them, he can realize how much it meant to him to get them, and then return the favor